**TAMOXIFEN 17 **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

blimey- we're almost up to our limit...so brand new shiny,sparkling thread.

jane thanks- I will make sure I keep in more contact -we're both a bit hopeless at that . Hope all is ok with dh's nan -and am pleased that auntie seems to be doing well- I guess the physio is in much demand generally,so maybe it's not as frequent as desirable.

Nanny Edna passed yesterday evening . Thankyou foor all the thoughts .

Off to rads appointment shortly . It's getting harder and harder to motivate myself into going . And this is only session 8 ! Still have 17 more to go .
Just want to go back to bed and pretend I don't have cancer any more .

Sorry to hear about Nanny Edna Topsy. :(

Wish you could have a lie in, it is hard getting up for early rads every day. Soon be the weekend :)

Dh opened the blind this morning and said, aargh snow! It's only a little sprinkling, by his reaction thought there must have been a few inches. Will shop locally again today. Have run out of tinned cat food. Andi doesn't mind - he likes licking the tomato sauce off pilchards...

Aargh - have to go for a smear test in an hour.

oh eek jane - my legs are crossed in response to that news.
RIP to Nanny Edna- I hope she slipped away peacefully.
Sorry that the rads are a drag topsy - just once more this week though...

Feel guilty about being bluergh about rads .
It really is going easily . Out in 15 mins today , and so far no skin problems .
I guess I am just getting tired of being a "Cancer Patient" .

Good luck with the smear jane , lie back and think of England

That's sad about Nanny Edna, Topsy. I hope it was a gentle, peaceful death. Rads are hard when you're in the middle. I felt mighty miffed mid way of mine, as everyone else seemed to be having 3 weeks worth and I had 5. Soon be done though and it's ever so effective, so definitely worth it.

OneinEight, I used the cold cap thing. I kept some hair all the way through, but had a massive bald patch - not a good look, but meant I could get away with scarves, as I had a fringe and hair at the back poking through. It's not pleasant, but your scalp sort of numbs so it only hurts for the first few minutes. My main problem was with nausea. For some strange reason as soon as my scalp chilled I threw up. Nurses said they'd never ever seen that before though and I am prone to being sick, so am obviously just weird. You also look a complete numptie wearing the thing - my friend who came with me said I looked like a teletubbie.

Jane, hope smear's not too grim. You'll feel great once it's clear though.

Got DS's Christmas concert later. All I've got out of him is he's 'singing with a hat on'

Phew that's done. I hate the idea of smear tests but this one wasn't so bad. Had to perch right on the end of the bed as the nurse has had a slipped disk and can't twist across the bed so she raises the height and does it from the end...

Traffic was backed up on the bypass, guesd lots of people late for work today.

singing with a hat on sounds fine

Smee - vertically challenged so tellytubby might be a good look! Hope the christmas concert goes well. We miss out on Christmas concerts as the school my ds's go to is large and they only have a small hall. They are very excited at prospect of snow tonite - hope they aren't disappointed.

RIP Nanny Edna. I hope it was peaceful and her family said their goodbyes.

School Xmas concerts are emotional minefields at the best of times, even without cancer factored in. DD was a mission controller (????!) this year - all her lines were at the start, so by the end she was extremely bored, wriggly and restless and bouncing around like a yo-yo.

Enjoy yours, one and all.

ooh modern nativities cakes whatever next !
Ds is always at the back in the choir-when he was younger because that's where he put himself but now because of his deeper voice
I think Christmas too is a pretty emotional time - I always spend it feeling knotted up inside because of anxiety and I think things like missing lost loved ones is much more intense.

oh dear- phone call from the boy's head of year -she was finding out from all his teachers what he needs to do to raise his grades. The ones who have responded say that he really needs to do a bit more at home to reinforce his knowledge/exam techniques etc- ie. more than the minimum required (which we know !) so we must chivvy him to go online to the maths and science sites particularly. The drama teacher is very worried that he will fail because his shyness/lack of confidence prevents him from interacting properly - he needs to offer more of himself really. It's odd because I thought he'd be ok with that because of his confidence in singing. What to do ?

Well, you can't make him. Perhaps a sit down and an honest chat. But I recognise this is hard with a teenage boy.

Someone I know's 6 year old dd was a belly dancer in her Christmas play That's a step too far for me, I must say.

@ belly dancer- good grief...
Hmm, very hard to deal with-I will have a think. Am going to contact the drama teacher after Christmas to see what can be done. argghhh- he'd get so much more out of lessons if he could make that breakthrough - he is just afraid of allowing himself to open up,such a shame as I think there is loads of creative stuff. He is a sweet,kind boy and I want him to be ok and do well.

Ha ha, loving the clip MAS. Surely that is Amelia Lilly ("you just shouted your way through that")

Of course you do. Opening up is so hard, if you are shy - and hormonal. Tricky.

only what you deserve dear cakes

Teenagers! My ds coasted on the mimimum during his gcses. V young for his age emotionally and being an August baby didn't help. Couldn't decide whether to do arts or science A levels, did science and then changed his mind and did another year of A levels which gave him time to grow up a bit before uni. It is so difficult to push them. If they find something they are enthusiastic about and can see past the exams, so much the better. Unfortunate that the league tables lead to too much emphasis on exams these days...

Hi everyone, just checking in after being "away" for a couple of weeks. I've looked at the posts and am and at the news on here.
cat64 I can identify with the emotional triggers and how cancer amplifies them, there is so much suffering and I am learning to just accept somethings. Boy, that is hard, acceptance and I have only ever been nodding aquaintances. Last week was really good, went swimming, did some Christmas preparation and enjoyed having our dd to stay. Now I've got a horrible, hacking cough and feel generally crap. Takes all day to just do the basics. Feel so sorry that we cannot visit dh's sister anytime soon, she has a learning disability and will be in hospital over Christmas having a major op. There was a window of opportunity last weekend, but then I went down with this bug and no end in sight, people coming for Christmas and rads begin 3rd Jan. If the weather isn't too bad between Christmas and NY, could possibly squeeze in a visit. The seroma has gone, just a bit of tenderness still and the numbness in the back of my arm has lessened. Feel sick everytime I apply roll on deodorant because of the sensations, but I think that will go in time. Best wishes to all and hope you have the strength to cope with the important stuff, anything else is a bonus!

Hi drift sorry to hear you are poorly. Good that the seroma has gone though. It is hard not being able to visit, but sometimes you have to concentrate on yourself for a bit so that you can recharge your batteries. I've been very selfish recently but think I need to get fit before I have the energy to run around as usual. Good that you have got a date for rads, it is soon done once it is started!

Just having a here. Lasy day but at least that smear test isn't hanging over me any more. (I refuse to register that it is a test for something - once its done its done... I hope)

drift hope you feel better soon and get to see your dh's sister, but as jane says,you need to look after yourself for a bit.
Off to concert soon- ds delighted that his choir are performing in the first half -we can leave at the interval he reckons - hope all the good stuff is in first bit - it does tend to drag on and on.