**TAMOXIFEN 17 **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

blimey- we're almost up to our limit...so brand new shiny,sparkling thread.

Thinking of your friend, Topsy. I hope she gets to say her goodbyes.

Hi Sparkle. Good to hear that you are hanging in there. Hope Fil next door will be a support to you. You have so much stress in your life at the mo, its not surprising that you are short of time. Hope you are able to relax for a few minutes every day - try to remember to put yourself first sometimes so that you can recharge your batteries and hold it all together.

and chocolates on the go.

waving to sparkles and Jane.

I have just eaten two fondant fancies. Now I feel sick. So if it is OK with you I'll pass on the chocolates just now

waving to cakes and jchocchip

I am very envious ......chocolates and fondant fancies (which are one of my fav FBS) I am going to have a hot chocolate, and do as the DrJ ordered and sit down for 10 mins, to catch my breath!

Candle lit for Nanny Edna.

Sandripples - goodluck to your son. I remember the anxiety of waiting to hear if I'd got a place well. Was rejected first of all by my first-choice college but then heard two days later I had a place at another. It was a long time ago though and I'm not sure if they still treat the applications like that. What subject has he applied for?

Sparkles keep hanging in there. December is a rotten time to be looking for a new job as everywhere just shuts down. Hopefully there will be more things about in the New Year.

The good news from the hospital is that my lymph nodes were confirmed as negative and the tumor was smaller than they had originally thought. The bad news is they are recommending chemotherapy + herceptin, radiotherapy and tamoxifen as was Grade 3, estrogen postive and Her2(?) positive. Was a bit aghast when the breast cancer nurse asked if I could take a year off work - not ideal as I am on a short-term contract. Seems a bit pessimistic to me or am I being unrealistic?

hugs to sparkle - hang on in there - hope FIL settles in his new home.
1in8 - am sure herceptin and chemo ladies will be able to say how it is. All the figures and facts are very carefully considered and your treatment will give you the best possible chance,though am sure it seems very daunting to contemplate,specially the year off bit..we are always here to see you through it.
Some horrible news from an old friend just now- her dh has cancer -a rare one-and secondaries (liver,lung,lymph) -I thought she was going to tell me some bad news about her elderly parents. How shit is that- she has 3 dcs -school age,so they are all dealing with it too. I will write to her - what shall I say ? And should I tell some mutual friends ?

What do you do, OneinEight? That'll have a bearing on what time off you need.

A lot of us here are self employed and were able to just keep going, but others took a few months, or cut their hours. Just depends.

But don't forget that it is EXCELLENT news about the nodes. And you should celebrate.

Ooh MAS how awful

Just tell her you are there for her? Not sure what else you can say. Personally I would not tell the mutual friends. But I am very secretive about health stuff, apart from on here, obv.

1in8 - hurray for clear lymph nodes and that you have lots of treatment options. As Mas says, the chemo ladies will say it how it is.

2 fondant fancies cakes? no wonder you feel sick!

Sad for your friend's dh mas. I am not good at writting letters, I'm afraid. I would ask her if you can tell the mutual friends for her, it is horrible telling people and she may appreciate you doing it.

Mas - that is so sad for your friend. Perhaps ask if she would like you to tell the mutual friends for her as this respects her privacy whilst offering the help.

Cakes&Dale - I only work part-time as it is (basically school hours) in a lab so not sure reduction in hours is feasible. I may just see how it goes - the main concern the nurse had was to minimise the risk of infection - my kids bring every bug known to mankind home from school anyway. I am celebrating about the lymph nodes though!

thanks - will write to both of them -I have alerted a friend who knows her and my bf -they are very old friends but my friend is more in contact with me these days - I won't say anymore.These two are trusted and close friends of mine.

OneinEight - speak to the consultant, he/she may well be more pragmatic than the nurses. The main risks are infection which, as you say, the kids will bring to your door anyway, and how ill you feel. You may well not feel too bad, there is no way of knowing. Personally, I had my treatment every third Wednesday, so took that day off, then did a teeny tiny bit on Thursday and Friday, then resumed as normal until the next cycle. I bang away on a computer at home and this worked fine for me. I too only work school hours, though.

You may be able to alter your hours, if you can't reduce them - so you do less immediately post treatment, for example.

I think it will boil down to how unwell you feel - but that is likely to be mainly the chemo, which is typically around 18 weeks or so, not a year. Herceptin has its challenges, I believe, but not on the same scale as chemo.

I know yours is a short term contract, but it'd be a hard hearted bunch of bastards who didn't at least try to accommodate someone undergoing a bit of treatment for breast cancer. Good luck!x

Meant to say - my consultant said the main infection risks are actually from your own body. So carrying on as normally as possible, and just making sure to be showered and have clean clothes daily, is the way forward, according to him. Hope that provides a bit of reassurance.

Hi 1in8

I had 6 sessions of chemo . And my only side effect was extreme nausea .
But that was solved by a syringe driver . That is a pump that administers anti sickness drugs 24 hours per day into your body . I had mine for 5 days after every treatment . And it worked wonders .

I never had any infection problems , and I have 2 germ breeders school aged children .

I would just see how you feel after youe first chemo . Everyone reacts so differently to it .

mas I am so sorry to hear about your friends DH . It is really shitty news .

MAS - very sorry about your friends - how awful for them -its very hard to know what to say, but I think saying something is always better than saying nothing, even if you don't get the words exactly right. Knowing that people care, and are rooting for you helps.

OneInEight - Its really good news you have clear lumph nodes. As for chemo - its hard to plan because everyone is different. I had the chemo, rads, herceptin package - I was pretty ill on chemo, - but I was on a trial and having accelerated chemo, and I had 8 cycles, plus I think I was just a bit unlucky. I wouldn't have been able to work on chemo (would have been OK on herceptin).

My SIL who had the same treatment (but not accelerated) was able to continue to work as a part time teacher (3 days a week I think) - and she coped very well. So it's hard to know. I think the first cycle or two will give you some idea of how you are going to feel, the effect does tend to be cumulative, and the type of chemo you have makes a different too.

Sparkle -sorry things have been tough for little DS, The children will enjoy having their grandpa living next door, but moving house is always hard work.

thanks kk The poor children must be very distressed as they know what's happening -the youngest has been having anxiety attacks. I remember being very scared that my brother would die when he was ill and having a bad time -though I wasn't told what exactly was wrong with him -it was very frightening.Think maybe it's better to know.

I meant lymph nodes not lumph nodes in my post of course- I think that was some bizarre freudian slip

Yes MAS - awfully scary for the children Is he having treatment at the moment?

OneinEight, that's really good news on size and no nodes. I had chemo and rads and kept working, but like Cakes I'm freelance and work at home. If your inclination is to keep going, I'd say give it a whirl. You can always back out down the line and I think it's good to keep busy if you can. Ask any and all questions no matter how bizarre and just keep remembering if we can do it, then so can you.

Sparkle glad you're back. Sorry you're still so up against it. Hope DH gets a new job soon as at least that would be one thing fixed.

MAS, that's awful about your friend's DH. I'd guess all you can do is be honest and upset for her in a letter and offer to do whatever she needs. Does she live close to you? Harder to be a support from a distance.

Sorry not to post to all, but have been Christmas Fair Elf all day - setting up in the morning, then running the Lollipop Lottery, which was bonkers but a lot of fun. Got lots of work things to catch up on now, but will try and catch up properly tomorrow. Hope you're all warm and cosy - freezing here..

Great news for NK.

OneinEight, brilliant news about nodes. I work part time in a school and, during chemo, I had about 5 months off, not because I was ill (neutropenic), but because of getting infections - I was hospitalised three times because I'd picked up infections (and that was while I wasn't working). I was on full pay for 6 months, then went down to half pay. A year seems a long time.

Topsy, I hope Nanny Edna's passing is a peaceful one.

So sorry to hear about your friend's DH, MAS. How awful for the children. I think Jane's got it right - maybe write and ask your friend if you can let your mutual friends know. I think she will be grateful.

Cat, glad rads went smoothly today. I never minded the delays, it meant I could get stuck into my book - something I don't always have time to do normally.

Sparkle, your life seems incredibly hectic right now. Like the others have said, make sure you take time out for yourself.

Belated birthday wishes to KK, I hope you had a lovely birthday.

Nurse is pleased with the way my scar's healing. I still have to go every day though, right till the New Year. Should get results from the swab tomorrow. I hope it isn't anything too nasty.

I accidentally fell through the door at the health centre yesterday (didn't lift my feet properly I think) and now my hip's hurting. That's all I need. I can't even have a nice hot bath because I have to keep my scar dry. Hhhmmph, I need a glass of .

1in 8, after the ops I had chemo, rads and now arimidex. I was off work for 10 months altogether but as others have said it does vary a lot according to the s trnegth of your chemo, your individual response to it, how far away work is and also what sort of work you do. I have a fairly full-on stressful job and I am very glad I did not have to work through treatment BUT I do know some woemn who'sve worked through successfully, usually taking a fews days off for the chemo days and then doing about 10 days at work before starting the cycle again. I know one friend who was a teacher at the time of her treatment and she did part-time and another was in HR and had very flexible arrnagements to work when she felt well enoug. I do think your age is another factor.

I had some insurance which meant I didn't have to rush back and was very grateful.

Your employer should discuss it with you and hopefully allow you some flexibility. As others have said the effect is cumulative but my onc said that' if you start well you usually finish well' in terms of dealing with it all. So see how the first cycle goes and decide as you go along.

Others,- thanks for asking about DS - he'll find out on about 8-10 Jan if he's got a place and if he's 'pooled' ie not given a place at first choice of college but recommended to another college, he'd be asked to a further interview at a different college so it could go on till end January!

I also miss nativity plays!! Enjoy your little ones while they're at that lovely stage! (mind you I still like mine now they're big, as well. In fct am dreading the empty nest -- but that's another thread!)

hello SR and figgy - glad the nurse is pleased with the healing- hope the swabs don't show anything too nasty. Grr about hip
Friend's dh has been having some very tough chemo regime and some drug thing that they are having to pay for (a new drug) I believe. They live way up north so not handy for visiting/doing useful things. I emailed her and she wants me to tell one of our friends.
School Christmas concert tomorrow evening - ds in the choir and performing,grandpa is coming but the seats are too hard for mum to sit for long.

at smee the elf running the lolipop lottery. Good to hear that figgy's scar is improving and hope the swab results are encouraging.

Waves to sandripples.

mas, your friend knows you are rooting for them and offering to tell another friend for her is so thougtful. Enjoy your concert, can you take a thick cushion or two for your mum?

Dh just came to bed and woke me up, he says he went to shut the pc down and had to reply to his mum's email. His nan is dopey aparently - so much so that m cannot leave her for her usual weekly dash home. Nan is 98 and has not had a good year healthwise. dh is very close to his mum and his nan was very involved when he was little - he has no brothers or sisters and they are too far away to comfortably visit in a weekend. We will go down for a few days before Christmas and see them.

Forgot to say, visited Aunty on Tues and care home seems ok. They do seem to treat the residents with respect and she had her hair done, the chiropodist and her fingernails done. Many of the other residents are from the village so aunty knows other peoples visitors and the front lounge she was sitting in was a lovely room. Just worried that she is not doing much in the way of physio.

Thanks for all the replies ladies. I will get my head round it but will probably take a while. Lack of hair and sticky-out ears is also not filling me with joy. Has any used the cold-scalp treatment - has it worked and is it horrible? Summat lots of luck for your results today & hope all the rads appointments go well today..