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Original poster

**tamoxifen** number 15 ****

987 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 25/10/2011 09:48

can you believe it ??!!

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topsyturner · 31/10/2011 12:51

drift I still find myself in denial about it all and I am surgery done and chemo done ! I still believe I will wake up one day to be told it is all a huge mistake .
You are still very much at the early stages too , so be kind to yourself . Let yourself grieve and shout at the world about how fecking unfair it all is .

SparkleRainbow · 31/10/2011 12:56

It was quite good, the dc really enjoyed it, sunny every day except one. No dc fell in, which is a bonus! Dh was a bit miserable, but he doen't know if he has a job yet in his latest reorg for his company, so he is feeling the pressure a bit.

How are you jane?

cat64 · 31/10/2011 13:11

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Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 13:15

welcome back sparkle !!

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KurriKurri · 31/10/2011 13:30

Hello everyone, and welcome back sparkle - I'm glad yo had a lovely break Smile

No change here, - no obvious deteriorating for dad, but not a huge amount of improvement. They are using a hoist for moving him, so if he returns home at any pint, that sort of equipment will all have to be installed, plus people to operate it. The chest infection does seem to be improving, although they are still saying a move to the bigger hospital may be on the cards (would be much further for my mum to visit him there)

Anyway - me and my sisters have a contact system going so we keep each other informed, but don't all ring mum continuously, so she gets to rest when she's home.

I'm daring to feel a little more optimistic, I was very down all weekend, but am pulling myself together now and doing lots of housework and baking.

Figgy, so sorry you are having the skin problems, - it is painful and certainly makes you feel very fed up, - def. badger the doctors for something to help. And feeling tearful completely normal, - you've been through a hell of a lot in a pretty short period of time, - so be very kind to yourself Smile

Those who feel in denial - I can empathise with that, - I'm 3 years on from dx, but I still have moments of thinking 'did that really happen', - its very weird, but I'm sure also completely normal.

I'm glad the articles were useful, - I found them very helpful when someone recommended them to me, so always keep them bookmarked and link to them every so often. End of active treatment is definitely a 'stage' in this whole process, and has to be got through just like all the other stuff.

loads of love to all, esp. those awaiting results or on treatment.
topsy, I want to see photos of all these shoes, so I can admire and be Envy Smile

SparkleRainbow · 31/10/2011 13:59

Kurri, I am glad your dad has not deteriorated, they do lend out hoists I think, or they can be rented, but it sounds quite a task for your mum, as does the propect of him being moved further away. I do hope things improve, especially his chest infection in the short term.

I have passed my 1 year anniversary for finding I had a problem with my boob. I have a slightly surreal feeling about it all, if it wasn't for the scar, and the nerve damage it might have all been a figment of my imagination...... mind you I always have been a bit slow on the uptake!! (hwink)

Now is it one of you lovely people, or someone on the EDS thread I started who has nominated me for a secret santa gift!? I am really touched.

Driftwood999 · 31/10/2011 14:35

KK - glad to hear you know a little more about your dad, I really feel for you and khow you must be so concerned for your Mum (90). Do encourage your mum to take up any help that is offered for them.

cakesandale · 31/10/2011 14:44

I am back from holiday too!

I haven't caught up with anyone's news though I did spot some great news for Topsy and rads - it is really terrific, you may have heard me whooping, and now I am cracking out the McVities choc digestives in celebration, if anyone is interested. Hurry though, I have had 4 already.

I wish all of those feeling in denial or suffering with treatment SEs a good night's sleep and a better day tomorrow.

KK, I am very sorry to hear about your Dad, I am glad he is getting well looked after and is not deteriorating. Your poor Mum, too. Sad

No news here - we had a great time, and I found a gorgeous spaniel puppy briefly, but then someone came and took him back, which was unfortunate as i had fallen headlong for him. Hey ho.

One of you lovely ladies has nominated me for a secret Santa gift, for which I thank you heartily, whoever it was. Smile

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 15:04

biccie please cakes ! So glad you had a fab time- we missed you.
Before I forget- further down the thread it was suggested that we have a section on BCNs and their uses and perhaps an interview with one or two - sounds good to me.
One of the women on my Mindfulness course was interested in starting up a meditation group locally and I was very enthusiastic - it's starting tonight-a couple of hours at her house- but I have backed out of it (she has 3 others going so haven't left her without anyone) I just don't think I can cope with the smallness of the group -which sounds mad- I keep thinking of the last meditation day where I felt so awful. I really think I'd feel more comfortable meditating on my own (no sharing and no having to read something spiritual !)I feel bad because it could be good for me, but I just don't want to go.Am I dreadful ? Have rung and left a message and sent 2 emails trying to explain.

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Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 15:05

Section on BCNs was for the book cakes not the thread !

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janechocchip · 31/10/2011 15:09

Oh Sparkle These reorganisations are miserable. I work for Local Gov and it is one after another. At least our section should be ok for a year or so now, but the admin still don't know if they have kept their jobs yet and the uncertainty has been going on for ever. Tempers get frayed.

Glad you had some sun on your holiday.

I'm ok, just a bit stressed with my Mum and Aunty both unwell. Aunty has had a stroke and her daughter says she is not going back to family home. I can see why as it is on the edge of Moorland and isolated. So at some point we will have to find an alternative...

Aparently about 50% of stroke victims have trouble swallowing at first but the majority regain this reflex. Aunty is doing ok and has regained a lot of leg function too which is more than I expected at first. I just hope that she finds the will to carry on.

I'm off to my 3rd rads session this afternoon.

My mum has a hoist at home. Before discharge from hospital there should be a home visit and any adaptations/ aids are put in place by occupational therapy/social services. Of course family are not expected to use hoist so Mum is usually reliant on carers coming in...

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 15:28

hope it goes well jane - am sorry that you are feeling stressed...fondant fancy any help ?

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janechocchip · 31/10/2011 15:39

Mmmm retro fondant fancy, yes please! Virtual fbs have fewer calories, don't they :)

janechocchip · 31/10/2011 15:45

mas I'm sure they will understand about the group. Small groups can be much more challenging than big ones especially if you don't know people particularly well....

Driftwood999 · 31/10/2011 15:51

MAS - Of course you are not dreadful, the last thing I would want to do is to turn out to an appointment to meditate with others I don't know. Even if I thought it would do me good. Would rather go to church, but in my own way, in my own time.

Driftwood999 · 31/10/2011 15:59

cakesandale are you looking for a dog? Envy we had to let our darling dog go last year after 14 years, he was a 3rd child and now I don't know if I have another dog in me, it was such a love affair for the whole family. I fell asleep in front of the woodburner the other night, remembering him with us and now because of all this I miss him even more.

cakesandale · 31/10/2011 16:12

oh driftwood I know just what you mean Sad Our much loved lurcher lived to be 14 and I don't think I have another dog left in me, either. I think there needs to be a dog shaped hole in your life first, and our lovely big black boy hasn't vacated his yet. He left us 7 years ago. I can scarcely believe it.The other day in the car I could suddenly smell warm fur and it was like he was back

So no, I am not looking for another dog - but this one could possibly, POSSIBLY, have changed my mind.

Driftwood999 · 31/10/2011 16:26

Cakesandale - I remember telling him everything and he would thump his tail in agreement, always on my side, I know what you mean by a dog shaped hole. When the children were little and wanted a dog I would say that the right one is out there and will come at the right time, which he did. How life moves on Sad is now sinking in.

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 16:43

oh how sad Sad Dogs are special...cakes didn't know yours was a lurcher- I adore them.
Back from il doctore- he says,yes probably osteoarthritis but there's nothing you can do about it- it just happens. Ibuprofen gel for any pain...but that's about it really.

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Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 16:55

btw- meditation lady rang me and said she quite understood and that she was going to be fine with her 3-and I'm welcome to go along if I feel I would like to another time. She was making it less structured than the previous ones (which were quite zen based with bowing and quite formal) but I don't feel up to the sharing bit just now..but it sounds good for future.

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KurriKurri · 31/10/2011 17:14

Lovely too see you back Cakes. I bet Cornwall was beautiful Smile

All this talk of dogs - they are so much a member of the family, - my little old girl is 14, and I honestly don't know if I could bear to have another dog when we eventually lose her. Lurchers are lovely - my sister had one, and he was the sweetest natured dog I've ever come across.

jane - thanks for reassuring words about hoist use - dad already has carers in to wash and dress him twice a day, so it will just mean extra help for him. But I think it will be a while before he comes out of hospital.
Hope the rads are going well.

MAS is the gel for your hip? - sorry it is painful again.Sad

Did someone mention FBS? ,I'll have a FF and choc. digestive please [greedy but doesn't care.]

Driftwood999 · 31/10/2011 17:21

MAS, nevertheless osteoarthritis, I think one can do a bit better than ibuprofen gel these days. Thanks for your support by the by.

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 31/10/2011 17:30

think he meant gel for my fingers ! though suppose I could massage my hip when it's sore. Dh said he'd put his massage oil he uses on his knee on my fingers for me Smile

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l4k · 31/10/2011 17:58

still trying to keep up with you all,I'm always reading.

Topsy-I think you sound a great friend,I had to laugh at the mental image of a toe being inserted rectally!! love it!!

Butterflies-still thinking of you and have everything crossed for your results.If you remember,we have a few things in common with age and family history.

Driftwood-everyone copes in thier own way,and this is your way.You will get there in the end and I bet there will be other aspects of this rollercoaster ride which you will sail through where others haven't.Be kind to yourself.

KurriKurri · 31/10/2011 18:21

Oh sorry MAS - it is me getting muddled - that's what happens if I go slightly awol - I've got people covering themselves in gel Grin ,

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