**tamoxifen** number 15 ****

[MaryAnnSingleton]

can you believe it ??!!

drift, I didn't do anything other than the medical side, but that was because it took all my time/ energy really. I wish we could reassure you a bit more. Not sure how, and am really not saying your fears aren't grounded, but it doesn't have to be dire after treatment.

l4k, will be thinking of you. Such a very hard appointment to go to. Really hope you get the best of news.

forpity's I haven't a clue about that sort of surgery. Maybe talk to the surgeon again?

Topsy, will be vibing you an easy ride tomorrow. Soon be back on the sofa. You take care. x

Pouring here and DS winding me - not sure why, but everything I say he's picking an argument with. Hooray for bedtime.

thank you

hi *smee! maybe DS is picking arguments with you cos he loves you so much??? Maybe it's his way?
I know I need to speak to her again but to be honest, she was rude and not exactly forthcoming with any details and it puts me off talking to her. I'm not even sure I will see her again until she's wielding a knife.
I got my date through for the pre-surgery assessment even though it's not likelt to be until feb time but I won't see her then - just a nurse.

The conversation we had on my results day went something like this:
her "well, I've done all the tests and you don't have cancer"
me "thank God"
her "I've added you to the waiting list for removal"
(no discussion on it what-so-ever. I don't think DH would have believed her rudeness if he hadn't heard her himself)
me "I'm not sure I'm so keen on surgery...."
her "Right. I'll write to your family doctor and tell him your decision. Thank you for coming"

the only time she gave any information was when I asked what would happen if I left it alone and she didnt look me/DH when talking. She just said "it might turn cancerous if you leave it".

I'm sure she hasn't got to her position without knowing a thing or two and she has a list of qualifications as long my arm, but every decent website I've looked at states categorically that they will NOT turn cancerous and they can be left alone at 3cm or less (mine is 3cm) and just be monitored and may only grow during pregnancy. The patient can request a lumpectomy, but the surgeon will only recommend removal if they feel it's potentially a problem, which she said it's not. I asked her if they just remove the lump or surrounding tissue aswell for testing and she said "just the lump". Again, all the literature suggests they always remove extra tissue to test and be on the safe side. Personally, I think she has quotas to fill and a surgery list to get through before going skiing or something

I know I'm the 30th person she had seen before 9.30am and she's under a huge pressure from the NHS etc etc. I'm also very mindful that in her books I'm fine and healthy and not worthy of her time when there's plenty of people much much more deserving of her skills than me.
BUT she didn't discuss anything/ she didn't explain very much and if she did it was a formulaic three-word answer at most that made me feel stupid for asking.

Hence I'm left to ask my own questions and find my own answers and drive DH mad with my endless 'what do you think of this' scenarios.
I think I might see if the breast cancer care people might help? I did ask for a phone call when I was waiting for my results cos I was so panicked, but they didn't ring. I'm sure they are so busy anyway I shouldn't bother them for this.

I feel bad asking you all and although I'm obviously over the moon to have the diagnosis I did, I feel guilty that others haven't had that.

I've never been particularly religious at all, but knowing a couple of lovely vicars kind of skews your thinking sometimes and I have been and am still praying for you all. The rational side of me knows I had a fibroadenoma regardless of praying or not, but I did start praying and my friends did too. Kind of sets you thinking, doesn't it?

good luck for tomorrow 14k and topsy - hope it's a better day than you hope for xx

ive finished my treatment...YIPPEE

i really want to thank everyone for all your kindness and support, you have all been wonderful.

topsy...oh topsy im thrilled for you i really am,fantastic news.

smee...my ds has also got it on him hes in panic mode as he cant find the argos catalogue, anyone would think christmas was next week by the way hes going on.

14k...good luck remember whatever happens we are here.

pity...wow her attitude sucks what a horrible way to treat people,i didnt do the bcn thing either i really didnt like the way they kept wanting to talk about my children seemed like they wasnt happy till i cried,my bc and my kids was my weak spot being as im a single mum.here was me asking lots of question about my treatment plan but she kept wanting to talk about my kids i found it really upsetting.

talking about living with uncertainty im ashamed to say im at it already and already planning a trip to my gp tomorrow lol, something is not right with my elbow its bright red and swollen and stinging and yes you have guessed its my left arm again.i googled now i wish i hadnt lol so heres hoping its something to do with radiotheraphy.

pink yay! I bet that feels good, doesn't it?

I guess BCN are so used to people talking about their DC that they assume you just need a bit of prompting to offload?? The thing is I bet everyone is different and therefore need different support and information at different stages. There's nothing wrong with keeping concerns for your DC to yourself as they are not the 'unknown' and you can deal with them as, when and how you choose, but you need information so you know what to do and what's ahead. That shouldn't be hard to understand, should it?

Sorry to hear about your arm! Hope it's better very soon x

fps I think all Surgeons are like that , mine certainly had all the bedside manner of a grumpy tortoise ! When medical staff asked me who my surgeon was and I told them , they all looked at me with sympathy . She is a brilliant surgeon , but just not a people person .
Contact your BCN team , they used to sit in on any meetings I had with the Surgeon and when she swept from the room they explained everything to me .

pink that's brilliant ! Is there any follow up for you ? Or will you just be on the yearly mammogram plan ?

Am watching that new BBC thing , Death In Paradise .
It's like Doc Martin in the Bahamas

14k we will hopefully hear from you after your appointment tomorrow , it's in the morning isn't it ?

You will hear from me either way.Its at 3:45 and over an hours drive so lateish when I get back to you.

forpity, she sounds awful Calling the BC Care line would be a good start, but if I were you I think I'd ask for a second opinion. Let's face it she'll be a mare whether you do or don't, so go for it. It's definitely a right you are entitled to. Feel for you, as I've been so lucky. My surgeon's wonderful. I even have her mobile number that I can call if I have any questions outside of consults.

Think you're right about DS. I am always the person he tests. Could just do with a break from it. DH is only away for one more day though.

YEAY and double YEAY for Pink !!! So glad you're through. My DS has already dog eared the Argos Catalogue. He got very excited in M&S today as they had Advent Calendars out. Hope GP has got some reassuring words tomorrow.

Night all zzz (hopefully!)

Hi everyone. THere is too much going on, and so many ups and downs for you all. I am struggling to keep up with you all (my brain cant focus on too much at once Im afraid), but my thoughts are with you all.

When I first found this thread I thought I would never be part of it because everyone seemed to know each other, but over time I have found it so valuable and it is so good to know that other people are experiencing similar issues/problems/ good news/ bad news/ and that we are not really alone.

Hugs to everyone.

loads of good thoughts and love to 14k tomorrow and of course for topsy...
forpity - gah ! it sounds horrendous I am so grateful to have been treated really well by lovely team.
pink hooray well done you.

Hooray for Pink, good for you, what a good feeling

FPS - surgeons often seem to lack people skills (mine made me cry and run out of the room, because he tried to insist on telling me survival rates for my kind of cancer when I wasn't ready to hear it! then looked surprised and said 'oh well if you're not interested....')

topsy good luck for chemo tomorrow, and to you too 14k for your appointment, I'll light up those candles xx

Stars, I'm so glad you find it supportive here, I like to think we are like a family, all helping each other out, and its a family that always has an armchair and a for new members

I've also just watched Death in Paradise - it was fun sun, sea, sand and a grumpy policeman, what's not to like?

pity...it feels bloody brilliant,been on a high all day.

it wasnt that but on the day you have just been diagnosed your in shock and trying to take every thing in and asking lots of questions and your desperate for answers you dont need someone keep turning it back to your kids like how many children do you have,how old are they,do they have any idea,are you going to tell them today etc. every time they mentioned my kids i broke down. i was lucky my surgeon was fantastic before and after my op always had a kind word and smile but my onc was very serious and scarey seemed to like to focus on the negitive.

topsy ...just been given appointments for a years time for a mammogram and another to see my surgeon think he likes to check his work or something i do know that its nothing to do with construction,seems a bit of a scarey long way away.hope your chemo goes ok tomorrow.

imseeingstars...this is a great thread the support is fantastic everyone is always made welcome and soon fit in.

smee...i dont know why my ds bothers looking he just about wants everything from argos.

kurri..i would have also run out the room no way could i listen to statistics.

sweet dreams everyone x

Morning all. Early morning wake up from cat again. Fed him and opened cat flap and back to bed. Wonder if I could persuade dh to bring me breakfast?

Morning .
Darn cats eh jane ? Did you get brekkie in bed ?

Early start (well for me anyway) today . Got to be at the hospital for 9.30 .
Good luck to everyone else today . I will be back later on .

Where's my coffee ?

Wishing 14k and Topsy good luck for today.
Pink, well done, you've got there. What a journey though. Well done you.
FPS, I have a huge crush on my surgeon, as do most of his patients. . Have to say, yours sounds particulaly bad.
Hows the hip today MAS? Better I hope.
Off to Norfolk today with little bruv and his wife to see big bruv and his wife and scatter mums ashes. Hope its not going to be stormy.
Sending hugs and vibes to all who need them xxx

I've had a particularly bad night with everying going around and around my head beginning with:
Thinking/worrying that I have been overdiagnosed.
That if sentinel node comes back postitive, I could not face a total clearance, and what could they do for me instead? Anyone faced that one?
Coming round to thinking that I will go ahead with the WLE and SNB and all the way back to my most extreme contemplation, which is not to have surgery at all, instead to have rads, chemo etc. Convincing myself that I will make ground breaking science. That one gave me a peaceful 10 minutes but knowing there is no such thing as a crystal ball. So so hard and I have no symptoms, apart from feeling devestated and stressed I am really well and was enjoying my "prime" now I face lots of unpleasant side affects as a result of treatment for something that may do me no harm. Yet I know I could not take a gamble. There is a growing body of opinion that overdiagnosis does exist. Were you shown your scans/picture, I was not and am fretting about that. I've begun to wean myself of the hrt so have all that to look forward to.

Does any one know why the SNB involves the removal of the SN's rather that the biopsy beging done in a similar way to the breast core biopsy?

drift if you have an invasive carcinoma then you are definitely not being over diagnosed. With any luck your SNB will show clear nodes so you'll have radiotherapy and no chemotherapy and I promise those things,with surgery and tamoxifen are completely do able - even chemotherapy if necc. -as lots on this thread will tell you. No idea why the SNB isn't a core biopsy - probably not so easy to do on squiggly little wavy things.
figgy hip much better after a bit of a rest- walking a lot obviously annoys it !
Really hope the ashes burying goes well-and not too windy ! PIL is still in MIL's bedroom in his urn,waiting until someone decides where to put him. We buried my grandma's on grandpa's grave and my great aunt's in her dear friend's garden and planted a tree on top.

The core biopsy takes a sample. They want to check the whole of the sentinel node before they can say it is clear maybe? Also finding the node involves dye and the surgeon needs to see which is the sentinel. I didn't see my mamogram but was shown part of the ultrasound.

I was told that most women are also tested for HER2, is that right? This was requested in my case, but i have not heard any result even though I received biopsy result on 13/10.

HER2 takes ages to test for. They have to grow the cells and then test them a particular set of ways and it takes weeks and weeks, so the results come through way after the other results. Originally they thought I was 'triple negative', but then later we found I was HER2+ (which is sort of phew, though the extra treatment for a year carries its own risks).

Pink, Yay!!!!!!!!

Much love to all those facing today's events...let us know what's what?

amber is right HER2 takes a while

Thanks for the update. BC is in the news today I see.

Yippee !
Last chemo done and dusted .
At MILs house for lunch right now , so will back on later when I get home to catch up properly .

Later Gaters !