**tamoxifen the 13th**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- anticipating halloween

Thanks. I am not in the UK so support is different. I went to a support group but just got bombarded with literature. The ladies had no experience of my particular cancer. It seems that breast cancer is the main one they all focus on.
There will be restrictions on visitors and the hospital is a long way from home so this does stop people wanting to just pop in.

I dont have family support other than hubby and children so having to rely on friends and anyone else who is happy to help.

I dont want to talk about my fears to the doctor, they might decide not to go ahead with the transplant because I have to be physcologically ready to go through with it. I am sort of dealing with it but reading/seeing youtube videos have been an eye opener, at the same time extremely informative, but also upsetting because it is reality.

But life must go on. Thank you for your messages of support, I really appreciate them

A friend of mine went through her breast cancer treatment whilst living abroad . She had to deal with the medics who spoke a different language (she was fairly fluent in this language , but medics are hard enough to deal with in your mother tongue aren't they ?)

So I can imagine you are feeling very apprehensive about all this .

Reality is a bugger isn't it ?
I still don't believe my diagnosis some (ok most !) days .

Use this board as your support group .
We may not know much about your cancer , but we will do the best we can to support you .
I'm off to google leukemia and its treatments now !

Iamseeingstars...Best advice I can give you and your visitors is Take the Infection Control Stuff Very Very Very Seriously. Get them to leave anything at all that could carry germs, outside. Handbags etc. Things the medical staff probably overlook.

Hugs/prayers/cuppa (delete things you don't want)...

Hi all I am hoping for sympathy, my gorgeous eldest daughter, a 21 year old medical student, found a lump on her neck on Sat. 3 years ago she had a melanoma that was successfully removed, the lump has turned out to be metastatic lymphoma. Unfortunately the treatment is brutal and the prognosis is difficult. I feel so angry and sad, I just feel I have come to my limits but I have to be there to help her, it is all so hideous, my beautiful, wonderful girl

Heck and triple heck...cyberknife radiotherapy thingywhatsit??

in the meantime?
Words just aren't enough, are they?

I can't add anything more to what KK,topsy and amber have already said - just that I am so sorry you are facing all this - please use this as your support group- we are here every day - meanwhile lots of love x

oh ILGC - shit. I don't know what to say.

Hi Ilovegeorgeclooney.

My thoughts are with you. Knowing how brutal my treatment is going to be and a poor prognosis, I fully understand your concerns. How does she feel? Let her lean on you, no matter how hard it is for you

Where has the lymphona started and has it spread? Is it likely to be connected to the melanoma?

x

Oh ILGC, - I'm so, so sorry, , life is so utterly shit at times much love to you and your lovely girl xx

Yes they say it is a secondary, I just feel my cancer and her father's death is enough for any family to cope with in a year and now this. She is such a lovely, caring, hard-working girl, her GP was crying when we saw him today. It is so shit, I want to rage against the world but have to support her and her brother and sister who cannot believe that lightening can strike three times.

I really don't know what to say- it's unbelievably unfair.

It is monstrously unfair that this has happened to your family ILGC, you have every right to feel angry, it is so cruel after everything you have been through.
I want you to know you and your family are in my thoughts. xx

ILGC - words fail me . This is so unbelievably unfair . What's the next step for your daughter ?

Morning all. Lots of for those who fancy some.

Pink, my op was 5 weeks ago today. The tattoos are tiny dots and I'm told they wont hurt at all. The hardest thing was actually putting my arm back into position - they rested my forearm and wrist in special holders, like cups to take the strain off. But they were very gentle with me. The sore bit of the scar looks like it's healed. How is yours doing?

MAS, sorry to hear about your friend's son's bullying at school. I hope the powers-that-be take the appropriate action.

Iamseeingstars, KK's post says it all really together with the other ladies here. Please come back for a daily and a natter. These Tamoxifen ladies are a wonderful source of knowledge and support.

KK, will look at the tree thread on my return from hospital.

I'm off to work in a mo, then back up to the hospital for the dreaded draining. Will they give me a local anaesthetic? Then back to the Rads dept. for the tattoos. Let's hope that will be the end of the swelling. Will be sorry to see my 'cleavage' go though. It's be nice having it for a few days. .

Earth welcoming you back - glad it was quick,but sorry you had to go through all that kerfuffle afterwards-hope you aren't too sore (Earth returned to old thread after her op)
ILGC - thought of you first thing

hello figgy - hope draining goes well and the tats.
Friend reports back that day 2 was much better,so that's good.

Morning all, im being picked up by my aunt at 9.30. We are going to do some shopping and have some lunch before my appointment........Im trying to stay relaxed and calm. I dont have any lumps but am still worried............

Morning all .

lottie - keeping yourself busy is always the best option . Good luck for today , don't forget to let us know how it goes .

Sounds like earth had it rough , gentle healing hugs to you .

What are the weekend plans for everyone ?
Not much happening here . Think I will need to do a supermarket shop as some point . Rapidly running out of food . Next week is chemo week for me , my first one with my DC at school . So will need to get easy meals and lunches sorted for the week ahead .

Have had a sore throat and a headache for the past 2 days , am hoping it's not enough to stop next weeks treatment plan .

Sky looks terrible today , think I shall have a wet school run later . Ah well , it's Friday .

Anyone got anything yummy to eat ? Feeling peckish .......

kurrie...your poor mum they sound like they are using bullying tactics to me,is there a family member who could be with her when they turn up.

imseeingstars...i really dont know nothing much about the treatment your going to have but can understand how your feeling,i was terrified before my treatment started that and not knowing my proper diagnosis.all you can do is take one day at a time and remember we are here if you need us.

ILGC..im so sorry i cant imagine how you must feel,omg you have been through so much so so unfair.blasted bloody disease.

figgy...the draining shouldnt hurt if they go through your scar as thats usually a numb area,i have only had problems because they have had to use extra long needles because my seroma has different pockets and one of the pockets had moved high to my collar bone area. my scar itself is doing ok i did have a inch yucky bit but its now dried up over the last week.

was really fed up yesterday evening over a family argument got a couple of phonecalls people trying to tell me their side of events ended up telling both parties leave me out of it i then got upset.had a weepy evening i shocked myself at how fragile i still am.feeling much better today

earth...oh dear sounds very scarey,i hope your sorted.are you still in hospital?

ILGC, I can't imagine how you must feel. How unbelievably awful for you all. You must be in shock. Please come join us as much as you want / need to. We'd love to help if we can.

Waving to Earth - though I am in a rush and can't see your post. Glad you're safely back with us though..

Iamseeingstars, you're having a woeful time too. Must be scary. I have no advice for now, other than talk on here as much as you want to. We might not have your form of cancer, but we've all felt the fear, despair and rage that it brings, so that alone means we're perfect to help.

Lottie, I HAVE MY FINGERS CROSSED!! x

Right, got to run. Busy day ahead. Love to all, and well done to MAS's DS. A pass is a pass and MAS you're right - if he should have done better, a C might give him the kick he needs for the next round.

Iamseeingstars - i can only reiterate what others have said. I think you need to talk, and talk, and talk, and just get your feelings aired. If you feel the medics aren't the right people, then Macmillan. They will be brill. Or us, of course, that goes without saying. if you have the patience to type it, we have the patience to read it. x

ILGC. Words fail me. I am appalled. So sorry. Where do you go from here?

Earth - I will go and read your other post now - but much love to you, glad to see you back.

MAS - A pass really IS a pass. If he is capable of more it may just be an exam technique thing. He HAS to manage his time properly because you can get more points starting a new question than you can from finishing off an old one. I know you know this, and I am sure he does too, but having the discipline to apply that in an exam is a different matter.

Got to dash. I've run out of puff for work after working every one of the last 3 weekends, and arsed about shockingly yesterday. But I have got stuff to do so I need to scrape myself together and try. Sigh.

Love to all, especially those with shitty medical things to cope with today. I am willing strength and calm to all of you. Brutal the treatment may be, but there is every chance that we can do this, ladies. xx

Earth - just read your post on thread 12. Bloody hell. Tell us more. I have to go off now but will be back later and I'll put the on when I do. I may even have cake. As it's Friday.

lots of luck today Lottie - come and tell us how you got on.
Cakes- think you're right there about exam technique- he does need to pace himself so he doesn't get stuck and not complete everything- though he says he did ! He is also slow to get started on things- a bit of a dreamer.
Cake is coming up later,as it's Friday - too.

I've found you all

Please don't move again without telling me Tut.

As I said it was a scary night and I've discovered how close to death I came.

At one point I had blood pressure readings so low it was terrifying. It was made so much worse by almost every member of staff failing to draw blood and at one time they were taking turns. This went on for 5, yes 5 hours before someone called a senior doctor who went ballistic. I was not laid flat but upright, he should have been called hours earlier, and my wound was filling with blood hence theater again.

My surgeon came to see me with the doctor who saved me and shook my hand and said sorry. He says leaving a bleeder has happened only twice in his career and I'm the second one.

The doc also said, in my hearing, that he wanted staff admonished for giggling outside my room because he'd had to get out of bed.

All in all I'm shattered, black and blue and the fact my daughter was told when she rang that I'd had a comfortable night has made this a god awful experience. Oh and I have to have chemo as well