**tamoxifen the 13th**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- anticipating halloween

Bloody hell, Earth. I am so glad you are back with us.

Chemo will be a walk in the park after that. Don't panic.

Now -TREATS and REST x

Well my lovely ladies.....what can I say except life throws such at us, and we wade our way through it. I am absolutely shocked and distressed by what has been happening.

Earth I am so glad you found us, and quite frankly so glad you are a fighter and made it back here at all! you keep resting a lot over the next few weeks, your body has had an god awful shock.

ILGC what can I say, I am devasted for you and your dd and your other dc. Words fail me, they really do, I can only offer my support in terms of being your friend and being someone who can empathise with having to come to terms with the reality of the fragility of our dc. Talk to us, vent with us.

Iamseeingstars I am so glad you found us, the wonderful ladies on here are the best support group you could have, we may not be able to offer actually tea and cake but the virtual flows freely, and although experiences of treatment are different there will be enough common threads to help offer some support at this awful time for you.

Lottie good luck today.

I am afraid to say I have already fallen off the diet wagon, and for the first time ever I think I have to really admit it was a stress/eating for comfort reaction, as opposed to me just being greedy. had a letter from one of ds' Consultants, and had to ring GP, who came straight to the phone to discuss it with me...(what would I do without him I do not know) There is good news, but also so frustrating, upsetting etc I just sat and sobbed holding the baby on my knee. What do we know...well they clearly know nothing at all, my gp has helped me to understanding what they are saying which is...

1. space around ds' spinal cord is good, appropriate for age,
2. no permenant damage to spnal cord as yet, but this can and probably will change.
3. no idea what is causing pins and needles and numbness in lower limbs
4. no idea what is cauing incontinence
5. no need for spinal surgery at moment, therefore spinal surgeons don't care...gp said if they can't crack you open they aren't interested in you anymore
6. three different letters from same Dr saying yes dislocation and sublux of spine, yes again, and now everything ok.
7. he is subluxing under normal movement it will show up in mri, oh no mri was blurry but it didn't show up...we don't know what this means.

Gp said to me he knows I want answers but the reality is they have absolutely no idea of how ds' spine is moving, no idea what is happening, no idea how much danger he is in, and no idea what to do. What do I do, what action do I take when he is doubled up with pain, screaming, incontinent with lost feeling in his legs and stergth in his hands.....

Sorry, a mamouth outburst at people who have so much to deal with anyway. I just don't know what to do now, he is my baby.

Sparkles. I don't know what to say that would help. Hugs x

Sparkle - me either- this is unbearably awful for you I know..a huge hug from me.
Earth- How incredibly scary- I hadn't realised the full scariness yesterday on first reading- bugger too about chemo.
Oh dear,it's all very difficult for lots of you -wish I could do something,say something helpful..

Thank you for the hugs...am putting the kettle on now anyone?

Please....

I have lemon cupcakes if anyone's keen (hurry though, I've eaten 2 already)

Cake ???
In like a tramp on chips

sparkles - that's truly awful , sometimes medics seem like they are just there to be akward . I hope things get better for DS soon .

earth - wow ! Now that was one heck of a hospital experience ! I am amazed you are home so soon . When will chemo begin for you ? I would imagine you will need a fair bit of healing time first .

I had a 2 hour sofa nap this morning . Still not feeling brill , but got to get moving as I have a school run to do in 1/2 an hour .

ILGC, - I also woke up thinking of you, I hope we can support you in some way, even if its only providing a safe place to vent. xx

Earth - I am at what you've been through, you poor, poor thing - how terrifying. Thank goodness you are home safe now. Sorry you will need chemo, but hope we can help you through it with tips and what helped us. Take it easy

ope??? - I mean hope

Oh sparkles hugs

It was a frightening time for me and my lot but hopefully thats as bad as it's going to get.

Seriously considering suing the buggers for the state of my arm, I have counted 48 puncture marks under the bruising which starts at the back of my hand and reaches the crook of my arm, not to mention the ones on my foot. My arm is very sore and bruised. I also feel a very painful dragging feeling when I try to move on my other side coming from under the arm region. I'm tempted to take the vest off to have a look.

I heard someone mention allowances you can get when you have cancer but don't know how true that is. Anyone know?

Earth, blimey!! What a bloody awful way to be treated. Glad you're here with us now. Sod about the chemo, but stick with us. Helped me lots to talk to others who'd already had it. Have you got a start date yet? Maybe give Macmillan a call about benefits. They're brilliant and know their stuff.

Sparkle, that sounds like a lot to take in. Could you get a second opinion with another consultant? You can get MRI scan on disc and notes/ reports copied (they can't stop you, it's your right!). Would that be worth a go?

Topsy, hope you feel perkier later and listen to Kurri's clucking. Wise words. Kurri, when's your mum going to talk to the neighbours? Hope it's soon and it's sorted. Otherwise I'd guess it'll be on her mind.

Pink, hope the family leave you alone today. Treats might help?

Figgy, hope the draining's a fantastic relief and that the tattoos are funky! I know they won't be, but hey would be funny if they were. How many zaps are you having?

Been madly running around, and about to zoom off again, but am feeling virtuous, as have just eaten remains of a herby couscous salad, which I made for friends last night. [smug] Mind you I quite fancy a lemon cupcake...

I think they are coming round tomorrow Smee, - weirdly I was at primary school with this woman neighbour, although she was older than me. I seem to remember she was very bossy even then!

Couscous salad sounds nice, I had a hummous cucumber and rocket wrap, I love rocket - everyone else in the family hates it

Earth - Smee's suggestion of MacMillan is a good one, they are very helpful with anything like that. (I'm sure you know this, but just in case, - you know you get free prescriptions now?)

Kurri, you should come round for tea. Rocket is taking over our teeny garden. Seriously lovely, but there's only so much we can eat!

earth - i also heartilly endorse MacMillan for financial help . They have a benefits advisor on staff and CAB workers too .
They have filled out my claim for DLA (unfortunately the only thing I am entitled to) and also they give out grants to people too . Call or drop in to your local MacMillan center and ask to speak to a benefits advisor , they will perform a complete financial interview for you and let you know what you are entitled to .

kk - passing out ? See , no good can come from exercising .........

Am now starving , don't think I have anything as tasty as hummous and rocket though . Do have bread for toast and possibly some Marmite in the back of the cupboard .......

kk - I bet you aren't eating enough...gah ! take care,we can have you fainting all over the place.

I have just read the older posts and realised that, when I posted this morning, I hadn't refreshed my page and missed your post, ILGC. What can I say that the other haven't already said. I am so so sad to learn your news about your DD. What a terrible shock for you all, made doubly, triply worse because of all that you've been through. I hope we can help you through this. Sending you a huge virtual ((((((((((((((((((ILGC)))))))))))))))))))).

Earth, likewise - hugs to you too ((((((((((((((((((((Earth)))))))))))))))))). You've really been through it but thank goodness it's all over and you're able to post. Are you home now or posting from your hospital bed? Take things very easy over the next few days/weeks and let yourself be spoiled by your nearest and dearest.

Sparkle, your post sounded so desperate and sad. Forgive me but I didn't fully realise just what your poor DS was going through. It sounds like a nightmare and I fully understand why you want answers so that he can be better again. I don't care if it is unMumsnetty, but I'm dishing out another hug (((((((((((((((((((((Sparkle)))))))))))))))))))))))).

Pink, I hope your family can resolve their differences without involving you. You have enough on your plate at the moment and it's selfish of them to try and involve you.

Well, drainage went okay this morning. It didn't hurt at all - but the surgeon and nurses were amazed at the amount. 17 syringes of 60ml in each which is over 1litre. Poor nurse had to go and get two extra lots of syringes and told me I'd broken the record. My cleavage was nice while it lasted. Then onto the Rads for tattoos and scan. So everything's done now and just waiting for a date for rads to start. I'm having 15 in total (3weeks worth).

well done figgy - that's lot of fluid -eek.

phew Figgy, - you must feel a bit lighter now! It's good you are all tattooed and ready to go.

Did DS2 enjoy Thriller?

MAS, it was. I weighed myself when I got up, then again a little while ago and I've lost 3 lbs. .

KK, yes he did. It was a brilliant night and he thoroughly enjoyed doing his MJ moves in the aisle along with everyone else. The singing was excellent as was the stage set and the dancers. I'd definitely recommend it it anyone's a MJ fan. He's off to a party tonight. They're going bowling followed by a meal at Frankie and Benny's in town. There's a crowd of them and he needs his passport so he can buy a beer. I really must sort out an ID card for him.

Hi ladies. Got back about an hour ago. All is ok. There was only doctor in the clinic today so i had a long wait. A nurse spoke to me about my family history and then asked if i would like a mammogram. I said yes. In the middle of the mammogram the machine stopped working and i was sent out to wait. My aunt who has a great sense of humour told me it was my fault as my boobs are so big! I had to wait for ten minutes after then a lady came out and said all was ok and i could go home!!

Hi folks, just marking my place on the new thread.

Earth, sounds like you've had a hell of a time, hope you are now recovering!

We've been moving house so v stressful, also had a shitstorm at work :(

Hope everyone is well.

hello Framey !
Lottie- excellent news - but was your poor bosom clamped in the machine when it stopped ?

Yes MS it was but she managed to get it out!

at Lottie breaking the machine, - but great that everything is OK. Hope you are feeling more relaxed now

Sorry you've had a difficult time Framey, moving house is v. stressful. How is your mum doing?

framey - that's a heck of a lot of fluid ! Am hoping that you don't get another buildup .

lottie - when I went for my mammogram she took one look at me and said "I'll go get the bigger plates" !!!

Am sitting up in bed with my sons laptop , and Would I Lie To You on in the back ground .
Do you think I could talk DH into bringing me up a cup of tea and some biccies ?