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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

Katie Price & victim blaming

260 replies

AtlasNeverShrugged · 23/08/2021 20:11

Katie Price has been assaulted and has a "split eye".

However, the comments on Twitter are horrendous:

twitter.com/BBCNews/status/1429804052754440199

So many people calling her names, saying she probably deserved it because she's gobby etc. Sad

OP posts:
greenalltheway · 24/08/2021 15:14

Vile fgs phone!

Blueskytoday06 · 24/08/2021 15:20

In absolutely no way shape or form does KP deserve what has happened.

However she continually makes bad decisions when it comes to moving too fast with people she doesn't really know (starting with Dwight Yorke). If she took the time to get to know someone first before introducing them to the children then possibly they could be better safeguarded against these people.

KP'S mum has also made poor choices which ultimately have impacted on KP's life. Where does the cycle end?

There are lots and lots of people with ulterior motives in life and perhaps (perhaps) if KP was to slow things down their intentions/weird fetish's/shitty behaviour would become apparent.

It's not victim blaming but she is the person responsible for bringing these people into hers and the children's lives.

It's not just KP that moves too quickly, over time I have heard lots of stories of people moving with lightening speed and in some instances it's ended in a dire consequences.

If she was a single woman with no kids she can do whatever the hell she likes but when she has children she needs to exercise a degree of caution.

paperbaggy · 24/08/2021 15:26

'I'm not victim blaming but'

If you're saying this then you are victim blaming and you know it.

She didn't deserve it and the fault lies 100% with him. There's no if's or but's and even if you think there is, keep it to your self, it is the wrong time to say it.

TooBigForMyBoots · 24/08/2021 15:27

It's not victim blaming but she is the person responsible for bringing these people into hers and the children's lives.

Yes it is victim blaming and harsh judgement of a woman living a difficult life @Blueskytoday06.

Blueskytoday06 · 24/08/2021 15:31

My apologies.

The issues are separate. The attack and the points I've raised.

I understand as I have exited from a toxic relationship myself. I am now dating again and it has made me cautious before fully involving someone else in my children's lives.

I know we shouldn't have to go through life not being able to trust but like I said not everyone is who they say they are.

hamstersarse · 24/08/2021 15:32

@paperbaggy

'I'm not victim blaming but'

If you're saying this then you are victim blaming and you know it.

She didn't deserve it and the fault lies 100% with him. There's no if's or but's and even if you think there is, keep it to your self, it is the wrong time to say it.

But where is the responsibility on part of the woman about who she exposes her children to?

Social services remove children when the mother won’t leave a dv relationship

I know where you are coming from but women do hold some agency over what is part of their lives and in this case their children’s

My marriage had dv, and once I had finally left a good friend said to me “ now we need to work out why you let that happen”

I was furious at the time she said it. But now 11 years later I thank her profusely for being so courageous as to say that. It was exactly right

Kanaloa · 24/08/2021 15:32

If you have to say but and however after I’m not victim blaming that’s not great.

Why are you looking at the cycle of Katie price’s mother and her toxic relationships? What about the cycle of men who have abused and taken advantage? Where does that begin and end?

Blueskytoday06 · 24/08/2021 15:36

Yes I agree that it is the men's (and sometimes women's) fault and that's my point - take the time to get to know them and potentially it will become apparent. There are lots of threads on MN devoted to red flags.

hamstersarse · 24/08/2021 15:36

It isn’t victim blaming to acknowledge that women have some agency in which men they bring into their lives

Particularly women who have a lot of resources and can fend for themselves and their children

paperbaggy · 24/08/2021 15:53

I doubt any women knowingly bring violent and controlling men into their lives. They don't admit it on the first date .
You're not going to know what their capable of until they do it and then it's too late. Most abusers are very loving and supportive to begin with and can even continue to be most of the time.

She didn't know, she didn't chose or ask for this.

Felix125 · 24/08/2021 18:17

@hamstersarse

It isn’t victim blaming to acknowledge that women have some agency in which men they bring into their lives

Particularly women who have a lot of resources and can fend for themselves and their children

I wonder if there has been previous history of DV between them.
Its normally the case that the victim doesn't call emergency services until quite a few incidents have already happened.
Kanaloa · 24/08/2021 18:22

@paperbaggy

I doubt any women knowingly bring violent and controlling men into their lives. They don't admit it on the first date . You're not going to know what their capable of until they do it and then it's too late. Most abusers are very loving and supportive to begin with and can even continue to be most of the time.

She didn't know, she didn't chose or ask for this.

Exactly. Also, these men seem to have a special radar for vulnerable women who are less capable of spotting red flags and standing up for themselves.
paperbaggy · 24/08/2021 18:28

I remember seeing that he's broken his hand and claimed he'd dropped a dumbbell on it so I guess it's possible that he'd punched something. I did think he seemed controlling, have only seen pictures of her with no makeup and no hair extensions for the last year which is unlike her

DancesWithTortoises · 24/08/2021 18:35

I do feel sorry for her but I feel far more sorry for her children.

She certainly does not deserve to be on the receiving end of violence but neither is she a saint.

She's a very damaged woman who needs help and who needs to retire from public life for a while and stop notifying the tabloid press about where she is and what she's doing all the time.

I wish her and the children peace but I doubt they'll get it.

TooBigForMyBoots · 24/08/2021 18:46

No woman is a saint @DancesWithTortoises. Not even the ones that start sentences with She certainly does not deserve to be on the receiving end of violence but....Hmm

Chosennone · 24/08/2021 19:26

He is to blame. That is that.
Many women are vulnerable, make stupid choices and fall in love without thinking.
His love bombing phase was obvious. She had broken both her legs, on top of her usual vulnerabilities. Vile.
Women really need to stand together in this, even if we don't understand the awful choices these women make, we can see that, they can't.
Poor Katie, poor kids Sad

DancesWithTortoises · 24/08/2021 19:29

@TooBigForMyBoots

No woman is a saint *@DancesWithTortoises. Not even the ones that start sentences with She certainly does not deserve to be on the receiving end of violence but...*.Hmm
What's your point exactly?
hamstersarse · 24/08/2021 19:34

What is quite disempowering for women though IMO is the opposite of victim blaming, where we say we had no choice, we didn't know etc.

Protecting me from victim blaming was the worst thing that could have happened. I actually needed some victim blaming /aka empowerment to believe that this would never happen again, and also believe that it was me who was able to take control of the situation eventually.

A lack of 'victim blaming' seems to cross a very murky line into perpetual victimhood where you feel unable to actually be responsible for your own welfare.

All of that is not to say that he was not in the wrong by punching her. And yes, it may be the very first time but I would hazard a guess there were flags all over the place (I could tell just by looking at him tbh) and for whatever reason she decided to overlook that, as so many of us do - but that still with that said, like my friend said "we need to work out why you let that happen"

TooBigForMyBoots · 24/08/2021 19:46

Women don't let abuse happen @hamstersarse.Hmm They suffer it. Helping a woman identify abusers, teaching her how to create strong boundaries and reinforce them is empowering. Victim blaming is not empowering, it's often what their abuser has done.

paperbaggy · 24/08/2021 20:01

Educating women on warning signs and empowering them to be able to walk away as well as giving support to be able to is one thing and yes, a good thing
But victim blaming is not the solution, the victim is in no way to blame, ever.
She shouldn't be made to feel responsible for what has happened to her. It's too late for her to go back in time and walk away before.

nancybotwinbloom · 24/08/2021 20:10

I really hope it wasn't her BF that has hurt her.

nancybotwinbloom · 24/08/2021 20:15

@Tal45

I feel really sorry for Katie Price, she must have been feeling for a long time that her life is just spiralling out of control and all she desperately wants is to be loved by someone genuine. I think she really needs to be on her own and just concentrate on herself and her kids. I think it would also really benefit her to step away from the media completely but I guess that's very difficult when you're a single parent and your career is based around it. I just feel sorry for her, she always seems really vulnerable even if she does often put on a front that she doesn't care.
I feel the same about her.

She seems to do the best she can and you can clearly see how much she loves her children and how much they love her.

She seems to get slagged for everything yet it's all forgotten about Harvey's dad and that he isn't involved at all.

I think she is great.

Yes she falls into bad relationships from the outside we can all go "no ffs no" but ultimately she just seems like a normal women drawn in by dicks.

Too trusting, wants a happy ending, just trying to be happy. No shame in trying to make that happen.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 24/08/2021 20:24

We had a buffet for Christmas dinner a couple of years ago. 2 dc here with spd around food, had a lovely stress free time.

What a bastard, I feel so sorry for her. No one wants to be a victim of violence. Some of us just have really shit taste in men for whatever reason. I gave up on them years ago .

Handsoffstrikesagain · 24/08/2021 20:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Queenie6655 · 24/08/2021 20:45

I know first hand just how hard it is to walk away

They ravel you round their fingers
Condition you to believe they are always right

KP was on a podcast around Xmas
Can't temper full details but she talked about the impact of being attacked by a stranger at a very young age

Poor her
Makes me so angry

She has the loveliest kids too

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