going to have a 'good' week

[Sax]

Hope to be around a bit this week but on the onwards and upwards line not the low and sad one. Decided to take a positive attitude starting now and hope not to disappoint myself. i should be here if anyone needs an ear! Have a good week everyone......

Blimey - 4 eh, full of admiration, I don't cope with 3, gosh 4 must be mega awards needed!!!!!

No No No I only have one and he is 4, Blimey do you have three? what ages are they?

Well I have a daughter thats 19 too but Im lucky if she ever comes home let alone go to bed early!

ds1 is 4y 8months
ds2 is 2y 2m
ds3 is nearly 10m

But, my choice to have them so young so should be coping with them not on here whinging my head off!!!! we make our own choices in life
!!

Fair enough point Sax but come on parenting aint exactly the easiest job in the world and by gum young lady, you sound like you have your hands full! In my humble oppinion you deserve a medal! Being a mum doesent come with a handbook and crikey if we cant whinge and let off steam every now and again then God help us all. I suspect a lot for you and I could be wrong is tiredness, do you ever manage to get a break? just time for yourself?

Anyway hon I'm here if you want to chat and will try and support u anyway I can. [[hugs]]

They do go to bed at 7pm (although 2 yr old doesn't stick to this) but other two do and then the evening is more or less ours - so no excuses really! some people have kiddies up all night, we don't so why am I whinging so damned much, its soooo crap.....

I know Sax but its differeny for everyone, I just think your being a little hard on yourself, you really shouldnt feel guilty for being stressed out, it happens to the best of us. Listen Im logging off for a while to look at BB sad I know but I will be around later if you want to chat, also Wobblyknicks has a nice bar going on over in chat, why dont you pop in there and keep a virtual seat for me?

different even anywho hope to catch up with you later [[[hugs]]]

Evening all, first time i've been able to log on of an evening, but DT's in bed, DH out getting bladdered and i'm about to go watch a great black and white romance in bed with glass of wine, bingo!

How is everyone, Sax you seemed down earlier then just shrugged it off, is this the normal pattern, I only ask as I seem to do the same....1 minute feels like the world is falling in around my ears and I can't stand another minute of DH or DT's, then all of a sudden I think, nah, this ain't so bad, I guess others have it harder, and I forget the feeling of total helplessness as though it never happened.

I'm gonna stick on for a bit longer....talk if you wanna

Sorry guys, now sinking lower and lower, i FEEL a shit mum and shit wife (should be working as we speak) should be more patient and should be drinking as much wine as I am!!!!! - basically a total failure - you may disagree but at the emd of the day, this is how I FEEL so its in my head, not just a flippant remark!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry but I am really struggling here guys!!!!

of course I mean't shouldn't be drinking as much!

sax, sax, sax....put the wine glass down and walk away from your PC for a bit. Why not go have a flick through some piccies of your 3 wonderful kids....just sit down in some peace and quiet for a bit and reflect on the good stuff (don't go all negative on me, there is good stuff to reflect on).

Seriously, walk away from this thread for a bit.....get your head as straight as you can and then come back and tell me what you thought about....

Gonna start a new thread if no-one minds? This one is so huuuuuuuge its taken my 15 million year old PC ages to load it!!

Sax... hang in there!!!!!!

Sax love,

calm down!!!!

you know what you said to me about panics?????

well if you lot won't listen well there isn't anyone and i'll just sink on my own - f* it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! another time then! Maybe.

Heres an idea - sometimes when I'm losing the plot I think about the things that made me happy in the past (not as morbid as it sounds)....I think about the single life, no kids, no DH, no commitments....if I'm honest, was truly great, I loved it. Lived in a rented flat in a beautiful village, attached to an old manor house with pool and tennis court. I used to go out when I felt like it, get REALLY drunk and take whoever home I fancied (!!!!!gosh meeely, u so naughty).

Weird as it seems it's nice to reflect....I got used to my own company and I actually like being alone sometimes. In fact for my 30th, next year I want DH to send me to Scotland on my own to stay in a lovely hotel, so I can just be alone....I am really looking forward to it.

Don't get me wrong, love my boys with a passion, such a deep love you can't describe it, but you can't forget who YOU are, you are not just a wife and mother, you are a woman, with feelings and emotions. I think we sometimes forget when we marry and reproduce that we were full of life once and didn't stop laffing until we went to bed and even then we'd laff some more. We get wrapped up in ironing, cleaning, washing, nappies we forget how to have fun.

I'm waffling - but guess in the midst of it all I'm saying be YOU, sod everyone else for a bit, remember who you are....GOD thats deep...more wine vicar!

Hi Sax, I had the exact same feeling the other morning when I came on MN in tears, I know it's not nice and I'm sure the thought that I'm a crap mum must be the one that simmers away constantly at the back of my head...just waiting for every little opportunity to come to the front and bring me down again. If you're anything like me I think part of my problem is that I'm not used to failing at anything at all, have always been lucky, competent, pride myself at being someone other people come to for advice etc etc. and now I can't even help myself and the most trivial thing can make me feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing! I'm actually doing OK today and it's on days like this that I try to see things with a bit more perspective in the hope I can store these +ve feelings up to dilute the -ve ones....does that make sense? Maybe as well as writing down all the bad stuff so I can tell the GP what I'm feeling, I should write down the good stuff when it happens and look at that when I get the sinking feeling.
BTW hello to Mhamai, I haven't spoken to you before, nice to meet you

QF, whats the thread called?

WOW that took 3 minutes to load!

Please read the Jane Fonda thread I've started as a sequel to this.... I'm not trying to discard this thread.... far from it! But my home PC really isn't coping with the size of this thread very well.

Sax PLEASE don't feel alone.... we are here.

Qf

do you have msn?

Sax are you there? Come back and chat on QFs new thread.....hope to speak to you soon

Gossifer - I hope you'll pop over and tell us how you are, missing your comments!

hello sax, sorry, been away at a friends in the country away from computers and decided to stay away longer it was so peaceful and ds was a happy chappy
how are you doing?
big cuddles

Hi gossifer

I think theyve all moved to a different thread now - something about jane fonda

HTH