Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

I crossed a line today and it has scared me but I also feel less scared

194 replies

Nabster · 15/03/2009 09:48

I am hiding in my room as the ILs have popped round.

I am scared to tell anyone as once I put it on here, everyone will know and I don't know if there is anyone on here who knows me in RL.

DH says I have to ring the Doctor tomorrow but I know I won't.

Not being deliberately annoying, just very scared.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 11:04

I am back.

Just need to find the number to ring MIND.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 11:09

ringing now

OP posts:
mileniwmffalcon · 18/03/2009 11:35

how did it go?

Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 11:37

Have to ring back at 2.15pm and talk to a trained person.

OP posts:
mileniwmffalcon · 18/03/2009 11:37

will you be able to do that? you'll have picked up ds by then is that right?

how are you feeling?

dollius · 18/03/2009 11:42

Well done Nab.

Can't understand why your psychiatrist is being so laid back. When I tried, it was taken extremely seriously (all drugs taken away from me and was put into hospital for supervised medication/respite care) and even now I am not allowed large quantities of drugs - have to get weekly prescriptions for things, as I can't be trusted apparently. And I have been better for years.

I don't think she can have realised what has really happened or something.

Really wishing you the best.

Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 11:43

DS is at MIL.

I will ring.

I am scared to even go in my room now as that is where....

OP posts:
Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 11:44

I feel like I want to tell my old school friends but for what. They will worry and can't do anything anyway.

OP posts:
dollius · 18/03/2009 11:48

Yes, I still have the same feeling about the bathroom in my parents' house where I tried it too. You get over that, I promise, although it always reminds you.

Make sure you make that call. You need all the support you can get right now, and you will start to feel so much better when other people are supporting you. It really takes the weight off - like a massive relief - when you finally start getting proper help.

Dittany is right, this hell you are going through right now is part of the healing process. It is very common for things to get much much worse before they get better, once you have started to deal with them.

It is because your subconscious thinks you are really to face your demons now. And, Rhubarb is also right - you don't have a choice about that - your mind is going to do it with or without you. Just make sure you stay in control of it by getting as much help from people who know about this as you can.

Rhubarb · 18/03/2009 13:35

Best of luck with that call. Don't forget now.

Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 14:41

Have rung.

Going to a meeting on Monday.

Have to go for the kids now.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 18/03/2009 14:41
Smile
Rhubarb · 18/03/2009 14:42

If it's inconvenient for you to meet them, ask them to come to you.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 18/03/2009 17:03

good to hear you have made contact with someone,

Original poster
Nabster · 18/03/2009 18:36

Hubby has arranged to be home at 5.30pm on Monday's so I can go.

OP posts:
peanutbrittle · 19/03/2009 12:39

oh Nabster...have just seen this thread...poor you. Sounds like you are doing all the right things now. I wish you all the strength and support you need to get through this. Hope Monday's meeting goes well and gives you faith in yourself again.

Original poster
Nabster · 19/03/2009 20:00

The psych said she would ring me today but hasn't yet.

Not sure I should tell her how I felt yesterday morning as feel she doesn't have a clue tbh.

OP posts:
systemsaddict · 20/03/2009 07:58

Nabster please please tell her when she does ring. Even if she doesn't seem very sympathetic or understanding, she will have NHS protocols to follow and suicidal actions and ongoing thoughts put you in a different bracket for more urgent support.

Original poster
Nabster · 20/03/2009 08:07

She didn't ring....

OP posts:
systemsaddict · 20/03/2009 09:37

Oh how frustrating for you, she shouldn't let you down like that. How are you feeling today?

Original poster
Nabster · 20/03/2009 11:04

Not sure tbh.

Have been busy this morning and too much to do this afternoon but that is always the case for Mums ime.

OP posts:
systemsaddict · 20/03/2009 11:44

too right :-) how do you feel about the too much to do - does it help to keep busy?

Original poster
Nabster · 20/03/2009 12:44

It does help to keep busy but sometimes it just feels too much.

I have got myself in a state twice today when it wasn't really necessary but I am trying to let that go.

Have just made some sausage rolls for the lunch boxes and that makes me as I know the kids will love them (have never had a sausage roll) and they were so easy to do.

DS2 is about to go to bed and I have 2 hours of peace to look forward too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nabster · 20/03/2009 12:45

And the DVD I ordered for a treat for DH and I has just come.

OP posts:
peanutbrittle · 20/03/2009 17:40

definately good to let those kind of things "just go" - I have to do this too, and is hard, but helps you get in better place

hope the kids liked their sausage rolls

hope you are feeling ok now and enjoy your DVD