Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

I crossed a line today and it has scared me but I also feel less scared

194 replies

Nabster · 15/03/2009 09:48

I am hiding in my room as the ILs have popped round.

I am scared to tell anyone as once I put it on here, everyone will know and I don't know if there is anyone on here who knows me in RL.

DH says I have to ring the Doctor tomorrow but I know I won't.

Not being deliberately annoying, just very scared.

OP posts:
mileniwmffalcon · 16/03/2009 13:17

i'm going out now but will check back later.

mileniwmffalcon · 16/03/2009 13:19

right now you don't think you'll try again. the kids weren't with you, is that right? is it different now they're in the house?

mileniwmffalcon · 16/03/2009 13:20

ok this time i really do have to go. take care.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 13:27

Nabster - I do n't knw what was in the posts that were deleted.
I just wanted to share and hope it helps.

I tried to kill myself last may. When it didnt work I spent the next few days talking to DH as if I had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, I knew it hadn't worked this time but I KNEW it was just a matter of time before I tried again.

I went to see my GP - she was amazing, she pressed the proverbial panic button, and within a couple of days the emergency community mental health came team came to my house. I was so worried that I would have the children taken away, or I would be dragged off by men in white coats.

Anyway, Upshot is that coming up to a year later, I understand what drove me to breaking point, I am having therapy every week and I have gone from wanting to die, to wanting to not want to die, and where I am not is hoping that I can hold it together.

I couldn't have got this far without my amazing husband and the advice I have recieved from MN friends.

If I am barking up the wrong tree then I am sorry for the waffle, However I jsut wanted to say that if I am not wrong PLEASE go and see your GP. DOn't wait until Wednesday.

Nabster · 16/03/2009 13:29

The children were all asleep and hubby was asleep next to me.

I feel silly ringing to tell them.

It has shaken me up how calm I felt and I have to hope I wouldn't try it again. I don't think I would as DH has been devastated. He has been amazing and wanted me to phone the Doctor today.

I think I will ring DH now.

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 13:32

Please call the number at the hospital if you can't get hold of your GP today.
My calm manner and lack of depression helped them to work out what is wrong with me.

nabster I know you have other MN friends but if you need anything, please feel you can ask me aswell.

Nabster · 16/03/2009 13:37

Just spoke to DH. He really wants me to call the psych at the hospital but I am shaking.

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 13:38

So, do you know where the phone number is?

don't call it just go and get it out, then put the kettle on and make a cuppa

Nabster · 16/03/2009 13:43

Have been on the website to see if I can email

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 13:43

if you emailed they would probably want to call you back, would you answer the phone?

Nabster · 16/03/2009 13:46

Have emailed to see I need to to talk to X and are struggling so can I email.

Will see what happens.

OP posts:
dittany · 16/03/2009 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 13:50

well done - please be 100% honest with them, if you are not they won't be able to properly help you.
I know you said DH dodn't want you to talk too much on here but if you feel it helps then please keep going.

Nabster · 16/03/2009 13:55

I think someone has just read my email.

OP posts:
Nabster · 16/03/2009 13:56

I would feel so silly saying it outloud. Like attention seeking and I am not good at any attention at all. I prefer to just hide which is probably why I don't talk to anyone in RL but just to cyber people.

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 13:57

I thought it would be like that talking to the GP but once I started to say it I just cried and cried, it was like a release telling her.

Nabster · 16/03/2009 14:02

I don't know what to say.

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 14:04

on here or to them?

if it is on here you can say anything or nothing..

noddyholder · 16/03/2009 14:06

I really think you need to talk to your medical team as this is far too serious for an online forum.MN is good for support but you really need specialist help i really hope you get it xx

Nabster · 16/03/2009 14:06

To them

OP posts:
Lulumama · 16/03/2009 14:07

tell them the truth, you have attempted suicide, you are suicidal, and oyu need some help immediately. you don;t need to make a big speech, just be blunt and get it out there

they will have heard it many, many times before

Nabster · 16/03/2009 14:10

Have had a reply to say the email will be given to her as soon as she is available. I have replied in such a way that it is obvious I need help.

Thanks a million for being here.

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 16/03/2009 14:12

Nabster if she phones please just be honest, you need to see someone, pref today.

Rhubarb · 16/03/2009 14:15

Nabster. When you feel like that it's very hard to see the bigger picture. You may not want to continue with this life for whatever reason, but believe me, this life is a better place for you being in it.

I say that because your kids love you dearly and their lives are better and happier for you being around. They need you, they depend on you and their mental wellbeing is largely down to you being there for them.

Your dh's life is better for having you around. He has someone to share parenthood with, to laugh with, to talk about memories with. Little things like what your ds said that was funny - he can share that with you and you both understand, you know your children so well that you don't even have to explain anything, just a word sometimes is enough and you are both on the same level. You are his best friend and he loves you.

Then there is your wider family, who have seen you grow and develop. Your friends who have shared secrets with you. All of these people would be left with a huge gaping hole if you were not there.

My dh's cousin killed herself when she was only 21. He was a teenager at the time. She'd tried before. Her mother had died when she was very young, she had 7 brothers and sisters and life just got too much for her. dh was very close to her and even now, years later, her death affects him. It has left a hole in his life. Her father suffered tremendous grief and all her brothers and sisters, to differing degrees, have experience mental health problems directly as a result of losing 2 people very close to them.

My brother tried to kill himself 18 months ago. He was in a very very bad state. He was married with kids too. He would send my sister and I texts along the lines of "say goodbye to everyone for me", it was terrifying. For a while we wondered if he would ever be safe. But with a lot of help he managed. It was a long, hard journey but he's just about getting there now. The only thing that stopped him from taking his own life was the thought of ruining his children's lives.

You are in a deep, dark place right now. It would be impossible for you to get out of there without some help. If you had a severe illness that threatened your life would you not go to hospital? You wouldn't try to treat yourself would you? This is a life-threatening illness you have? Depression is an illness. You need professional help to treat it. You are not just seeking attention. If you staggered into hospital with malaria would they say you were attention-seeking? You have an illness and most medical people would recognise it as a serious one that needs treatment. So do the right thing and accept that help, accept the treatment.

If not for you, then do it for your children.

Best of luck.

Nabster · 16/03/2009 14:19

Thank you Rhubarb. I feel silly. Have had so many people wonder what I have to be depressed about that I have started to wonder myself.

DH just rang and I could hear the worry in his voice. I told him I wouldn't do it again but on the other hand I want too as it felt nice.

OP posts: