Convinced im going to die of rabies or prison

[Anxiouspotat0]

(Yes we have a type of rabies here only in bats)
5 weeks ago I woke up with this mark on my hand.
Google lense said it could be a bat bite.
I went to urgent care who said it doesnt look like a bat bite, who contacted ukhsa / rabies team, who said because I didnt see a bat in the room I didnt qualify for the jabs. Since then I have been convinced im going to die. I even wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I sleep with the window open and I am convinced a bat flew in and bit me and flew out.

I then went on holiday and had a run in with a bat there and came home completely panicked. Id been having rabies symptoms for most of the holiday so I was horrifically anxious the whole time and this was just the cherry on top.

Then I stupidly over exaggerated the exposure/ what happened on holiday at urgent care. This was fueled by ny anxiety from the "bite" here and that id been having what in my head were rabies synptoms, and having another run in with a bat over there also, I wasnt thinking straight and it just came out in the moment. I regret it badly.

Ukhsa then recommended the jabs based on that but I panicked as I read lying/ over exaggerating and getting treatment as is a criminal offense/ fraud against the nhs. But I was just terrified, anxious, not thinking straight and wanted to not be scared anymore. I declined the jabs as im terrified of getting into trouble.i dont want to be a bad person. I just dont want to die.

I just want to be okay again. My mental health is in tatters, im not eating, cant stop crying, cant parent my children, can barely work, my hairs falling out, panic attacks.

I did admit to multiple doctors that I wasnt completely honest about the exposure and thats why I declined the jabs as they probably woukdnt have recommended them otherwise,
and one doctor told UKHSA this also, so there is now evidence I wasnt honest that can be used against me and im so scared.

A a&e doctor recommended I just get the jabs even though UKhsa woulsnt have rexommended tbem if I had not exaggerated, because my mental health is suffering so bad -- I had a full breakdown on him- but im convinced I will be convicted of fraud if I do. Id lose my job and what if I went to prison. I have kids..

But im convinced ill die if I dont get them.
Even though logically I know theres a chance it isnt a bat bite. But no doctors can tell me what it could be. Im just so scared.

Im having really scary thoughts as I just want this all to go away. I feel hopeless and trapped and im terrified

What would you do? Risk legal trouble and get them? Or risk rabies.

If this was you would you get the jabs?

I cant. Theres 2 clinics in the whole UK that offer post exposure and theyre 4 hours away. Id lose my job

have you spoken to your GP today?

Google said serotine bats (that csrry rabies) can leave indents that last for 5 plus weeks as its our biggest species.

Alsk doctors can offer 0 alternative nor can google. I ruled out everything else

They cant see me til friday but I dont know if work will let me. I juat started a new job :(

You haven’t got rabies
You didn’t spend your holiday with rabies symptoms
And you aren’t going to prison
But you’re not rational over this due to anxiety so I expect telling you this isn’t going to help.

But there is nothing else it could be than a bite and spider bites are always red/ inflamed etc. Bat bites are known to not cause this

I have really tried to convince myself its something else but even doctors are stumped.

If you have symptoms already of rabies then death occurs within 2-10days. The incubation period of a year is incredibly rare, but if it does happen, the person has no symptoms for that year.
Even if it is a bat bite, the likelihood of the bat having rabies is very low.
So the likelihood of you having contracted rabies is exceptionally low.

However, I do totally get the whole spiralling anxiety thing. I know that I need people to lay out the facts before me, which can help me sometimes see things more clearly, but doesn't make the spiralling go away if I have managed to get myself totally worked up.

If you have already told the doctors that you exaggerated your symptoms and hence you refused the jabs I think it very unlikely they are even thinking about prosecuting. So you can be totally honest with them about your symptoms and anxiety.

I would suggest you go to the doctor and have the jab so that it sorts out this anxiety spiral and then work with the Mental Health team to give you ways of reducing your anxiety - that takes time and may not be medication. 2.5 years of counselling and I am getting to the point where I can sometimes stop myself spiralling.

You haven’t. This is all caused by anxiety. If you’d been having symptomatic rabies you’d be really unwell by now.

I don’t think getting the jabs would help because you could have had them by now. You’d probably still convince yourself they hadn’t worked.

OP a doctor might be in trouble for harming you if they gave you medical treatment you didn't need and they harmed you. Like say they made you go through months of chemotherapy which messed up your body, and made you very sick then found they hadn't done the tests properly and you had never had cancer.

An individual would not be in trouble for getting a little medication or procedure unnecessarily. I mean maybe if they convinced someone to give them MONTHS of expensive treatments for something they had DELIBRATELY PRETENDED they had, but not for a little treatment because they thought they had something they didn't.

Omg for the millionth time this is NOT TRUE

The HRIG they give post exposure has a world shortage and is quite tightly controlled. The 4 injection course they given is the same as the pre-exposure vaccine (but more injections given / different timings).

No, I wouldn't. But I'm medicated and post a lot of therapy these days

I know from therapy that the more you give in to this kind of thing, the more you are concreting it as a real danger in your mind. And it's not real. I know that you're stuck in the 'what ifs' atm - that's why I think you really need to push for more help with this

Take a sick day and get them done privately. Surely that is better than dying of rabies or going to prison?

Oh OP, I remember your other threads. I think you need urgent help with your mental health. I’d be SO worried about you if I was your friend or a family member.

Where is your husband in all of this? I really think intervention by a mental health crisis team is needed now.

You were offered the jab so just take it so you can get that off your mind.
Then you need mental health help. You have children. Please get help for this.

You didn't ask this of me, but I did post back to you and related strongly to your experience, as have some other posters.
If I were honestly you, I would get straight to the GP tomorrow, tell them exactly what you have told us. Show the mark on your hand. They will know more than any of us strangers on the internet.
We can all tell you that you likely don't have rabies. I remember, in my 20's posting online asking strangers if they thought I had HIV. The answer was a resounding "no." I was comforted for that evening. The next day, I was back in the cycle, thinking "what do they know?".
You are feeding your anxiety by seeking the reassurance of people who can't really categorically tell you.
You must go to your GP and be very honest about all of your worries, symptoms and the conclusion as to how this may have occurred and let them decide if you need jabs. They have told you you don't need them. You panicked and then exaggerated. All this fed into the anxiety. You could go and pay for them privately, you could have all the tests, but, in my experience, you will likely move on to something else.

OP, you posted this update a month ago after seeing the doctor :

Doctor said it doesnt look like a bat bite. She said they see them sometimes and they are very superficial and mine are indented. She said bats arent strong enough to leave such idents and if one did bite that unusually hard I would have known about it ,even if fast asleep. She rang a special rabies team in London who agreed with her - asked if I was intoxicated etc when asleep, asked if I had seen a bat in the house, and seemed satisfied when I said no to both.
I think if I had woke to a bat in the house they'd have offered me the jab regardless of any mark or not, but as I have no proven close contact, im not high risk enough to be offered the jabs.

This should reassure you but probably won’t.

When I was suffering from very bad anxiety I made my husband go for the rabies jabs because he had been scratched deeply by a stray kitten on holiday in South Africa. Rabies is terrifying and is a common obsession with people who have OCD/anxiety and I really do not think how you have reacted is weird at all. Any good doctor would understand why you did what you did. Don’t worry about jail - this is an anxiety issue not a criminal issue!

Its multiple over weeks. Like 4 or 5.

We are seperated.

Find me one local to the midlands? I spent hours looking. Its only the pre travel ones

https://leicestertravelclinics.co.uk/rabies-vaccine-leicester/

"Post-Exposure Prophylaxis: In the unfortunate event of a potential rabies exposure, timely intervention is crucial. Our clinic provides post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), a series of rabies vaccinations and immune globulin, to individuals who may have been bitten or scratched by a potentially infected animal."

I would hope severe anxiety or not you would have made him get a rabies vaccine, a deep scratch from a kitten in South Africa would be an emergency, there is rabies in domestic animals in all provinces of South Africa.