Convinced im going to die of rabies or prison

[Anxiouspotat0]

(Yes we have a type of rabies here only in bats)
5 weeks ago I woke up with this mark on my hand.
Google lense said it could be a bat bite.
I went to urgent care who said it doesnt look like a bat bite, who contacted ukhsa / rabies team, who said because I didnt see a bat in the room I didnt qualify for the jabs. Since then I have been convinced im going to die. I even wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I sleep with the window open and I am convinced a bat flew in and bit me and flew out.

I then went on holiday and had a run in with a bat there and came home completely panicked. Id been having rabies symptoms for most of the holiday so I was horrifically anxious the whole time and this was just the cherry on top.

Then I stupidly over exaggerated the exposure/ what happened on holiday at urgent care. This was fueled by ny anxiety from the "bite" here and that id been having what in my head were rabies synptoms, and having another run in with a bat over there also, I wasnt thinking straight and it just came out in the moment. I regret it badly.

Ukhsa then recommended the jabs based on that but I panicked as I read lying/ over exaggerating and getting treatment as is a criminal offense/ fraud against the nhs. But I was just terrified, anxious, not thinking straight and wanted to not be scared anymore. I declined the jabs as im terrified of getting into trouble.i dont want to be a bad person. I just dont want to die.

I just want to be okay again. My mental health is in tatters, im not eating, cant stop crying, cant parent my children, can barely work, my hairs falling out, panic attacks.

I did admit to multiple doctors that I wasnt completely honest about the exposure and thats why I declined the jabs as they probably woukdnt have recommended them otherwise,
and one doctor told UKHSA this also, so there is now evidence I wasnt honest that can be used against me and im so scared.

A a&e doctor recommended I just get the jabs even though UKhsa woulsnt have rexommended tbem if I had not exaggerated, because my mental health is suffering so bad -- I had a full breakdown on him- but im convinced I will be convicted of fraud if I do. Id lose my job and what if I went to prison. I have kids..

But im convinced ill die if I dont get them.
Even though logically I know theres a chance it isnt a bat bite. But no doctors can tell me what it could be. Im just so scared.

Im having really scary thoughts as I just want this all to go away. I feel hopeless and trapped and im terrified

What would you do? Risk legal trouble and get them? Or risk rabies.

Ive been having so many synptoms of rabies and I cant cope anymore

OP, kindly, you are spiralling and this is not about the bat or risk of prison. You could have the jab and next week, there could be another thing that sends you spiralling. You are experiencing severe anxiety and you need help for that. Please speak to your GP.

This isn’t the about the bat or rabies. You don’t have it.

you definitely need urgent help for the severe anxiety asap

What would you do about the jabs if you were me?
I have a doctor appointment next week

This is crippling anxiety. It's awful to feel this way, and I really feel for you. Please make an urgent appointment to see your GP. Hopefully they will understand, and you can get some real help for this anxiety. You can't go on like this; you will make yourself ill.

p.s I woke up to a bat flying around my front room! I didn't even worry about being bitten. This was some years ago now.

The issue is NOT getting / or not getting jabs
stop taking about jabs!

focus in how your kids were affected by your “ rabies “ symptoms over what should have been their holiday

you spoiled your holiday

you know full well that falsely getting treatment is for pretending to be in pain to get drugs like morphine fentanyl opiate based pain relief - not rabies jabs -

i know of not one single person who has ever been done for this type of naughty ness
not one

prisons are full even if you stole drugs from a nurse it would not be custodial sentence

GET quality help for your raging anxiety

You’ve got symptoms of anxiety not bloody rabies woman! Come on now!

get yourself together enough to see your doctor. I won’t post anymore as I’m aware it’s fuelling you

worry if you start frothing at the mouth (sorry - poor joke but honestly. STOP)

Agree that this is out if control anxiety, you must feel awful. Please get some help.

Would it help to put the photo in a Facebook group with experts (looks like there's one called Batty for bats for example), and they can reassure you about what bat bites look like and how many if them carry rabies?

If you had rabies you would have died LAST week

use appointment to confide in the doctor

Im already making myself ill. Ive lost over a stone in 5 weeks, I have constant panic attacks and heart palpitations and my hair is falling out. Im just stuck in fight or flight mode with no way out and im tired. My relarionship and friendships are suffering. Work. My kids. Ijust want it all to stop. But I know if I get the jabs I will be spiralling about being convicted. If I dont im sure I will die. I cant fix this.

The kids stayed with their dad.
But yes I know im a bad mum. I have so much guilt.
And maybe I wouldnt go to prison but even a conviction would ruin my life. So I feel I just have to risk dying

Rabies can take up to a year to kick in

I remember your initial thread, it was clear you didn’t have a bat bite then, I’m sorry uouve become so unwell but it is mental illness not physical

can you seek urgent mental health care, does your doctor know the extent of how unwell you are?

@Anxiouspotat0 the “fix” is to get treatment for your mental health and this spiralling anxiety. Focus on that before anything else.

You need an appointment this week not next. Ring your surgery again in the morning and say you can't wait till then.

@ImaniMumsnet

Woah honey, you’re going to be fine. GP appointment first thing tomorrow for your anxiety. Prioritise it! And then come on here and tell us how you’re doing. Don’t hold back with your GP, they need to know exactly how you’re feeling. I’m going to say some prayers for you right now for you to get rest tonight and see GP tomorrow. It’s very, very easy to get your brain in a knot and you just need a little help to unknot it🤝🙏

You can’t get into trouble for one set of jabs. The crime they’re talking about is faking for big money or industrial levels of health products eg a warehouse full of bedsheets. It has to be for thousands and thousands of pounds ie a lot of stuff.

That’s the only crime, you haven’t done it.

OP, we’ve all had awful health worries - you are not alone, medics are well used to
it.

Sympathies because the stress grinds you down. You must be very tired of feeling scared.

But you and GP can fix this.

The GP can get the jabs for you to put your mind at rest.

Meantime, do breathing exercises tonight. They physically calm the worries and you will feel the relief of knowing you can’t get into trouble.

would you be able to show your Dr this thread and what you've written? I think that would be a good start.

Wishing you all the best - you're not going to die or go to prison btw xx

You can fix this @Anxiouspotat0by going back to your GP and getting help for your anxiety. Medication would really make a difference.

No they arent! I had them back in March

I have propranolol :( it doesnt help

Then you need to go back, are you taking it? What’s the dose?

I only found one place that does them private and its in london..im a long way away and wouldnt be able to get the time off work (its like 4 jabs over a month needed on specific days) I would lose my job

Bloody hell OP this is horrific anxiety that has sky rocketed totally out of control. You need urgent help to manage this. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET INTO TROUBLE x

It's two jabs over the space of a week. Again, I had them myself in London in March.

I don't know where you are but I just randomly googled Manchester and they are available there too. Am sure it's the same for all major cities.