Convinced im going to die of rabies or prison

[Anxiouspotat0]

(Yes we have a type of rabies here only in bats)
5 weeks ago I woke up with this mark on my hand.
Google lense said it could be a bat bite.
I went to urgent care who said it doesnt look like a bat bite, who contacted ukhsa / rabies team, who said because I didnt see a bat in the room I didnt qualify for the jabs. Since then I have been convinced im going to die. I even wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I sleep with the window open and I am convinced a bat flew in and bit me and flew out.

I then went on holiday and had a run in with a bat there and came home completely panicked. Id been having rabies symptoms for most of the holiday so I was horrifically anxious the whole time and this was just the cherry on top.

Then I stupidly over exaggerated the exposure/ what happened on holiday at urgent care. This was fueled by ny anxiety from the "bite" here and that id been having what in my head were rabies synptoms, and having another run in with a bat over there also, I wasnt thinking straight and it just came out in the moment. I regret it badly.

Ukhsa then recommended the jabs based on that but I panicked as I read lying/ over exaggerating and getting treatment as is a criminal offense/ fraud against the nhs. But I was just terrified, anxious, not thinking straight and wanted to not be scared anymore. I declined the jabs as im terrified of getting into trouble.i dont want to be a bad person. I just dont want to die.

I just want to be okay again. My mental health is in tatters, im not eating, cant stop crying, cant parent my children, can barely work, my hairs falling out, panic attacks.

I did admit to multiple doctors that I wasnt completely honest about the exposure and thats why I declined the jabs as they probably woukdnt have recommended them otherwise,
and one doctor told UKHSA this also, so there is now evidence I wasnt honest that can be used against me and im so scared.

A a&e doctor recommended I just get the jabs even though UKhsa woulsnt have rexommended tbem if I had not exaggerated, because my mental health is suffering so bad -- I had a full breakdown on him- but im convinced I will be convicted of fraud if I do. Id lose my job and what if I went to prison. I have kids..

But im convinced ill die if I dont get them.
Even though logically I know theres a chance it isnt a bat bite. But no doctors can tell me what it could be. Im just so scared.

Im having really scary thoughts as I just want this all to go away. I feel hopeless and trapped and im terrified

What would you do? Risk legal trouble and get them? Or risk rabies.

Yes death is within a few days, can be up to two weeks, after symptoms appear.

the op wasn’t bitten by a bat, she doesn’t have rabies symptoms, what she has is very serious mental illness, that she needs to see a doctor for urgently,

This sounds like OCD. You need to approach your Dr for help with this, you can't solve it yourself.

Actually, I stand corrected, False Widow bites can turn nasty but not life threatening and OP has had for a while https://www.falsewidowspider.org.uk/bites If not a false widow maybe another spider or bug?

Get the post exposure jabs
Also, see your GP and get treatment for your debilitating anxiety. 1- because you need it, 2-because if you are being treated for anxiety, then the rabies jabs are part of that, and there should be no problem about giving them.

Just get them private. Why go through all of this! Get help for your MH

I think that @SharkPants is completely right, and that all the 'reassuring' posts you are getting here are just feeding your rumination and therefore entrenching your unhappiness. (As posters, we should be wary of doing this as it isn't helpful.)

I went through a similar kind of torture a year or two ago. It honestly felt like I was on the borderline between severe anxiety and psychosis - the point where acute distress is teetering on the precipice of 'going mad'.

Circumstances cornered me into making a very challenging driving manoeuvre in cloudburst rain, and the stress that I felt during the manoeuvre flipped over into fearsome imaginings that I had caused an accident behind me without actually noticing it. Within moments, those imaginings had become entrenched as an actual possibility.

I was in a state of horror for a few weeks. I made all sorts of calculations about how long it would take the police to work out I was responsible, and trace me. I checked the mail every morning for a letter from my insurers. Every text, phone call, email, terrified me in case it was from the police or my insurers.

I wanted to Google to see if there had been an actual accident at that spot, but I was afraid to, because I imagined the police searching my laptop and concluding that I had known about the accident and driven away. I had endless imaginary conversations in which I explained that I had seen zero evidence of any accident whatsoever, but that my anxiety had forced me to ruminate on it.

I was seeing a therapist at the time and I was even fearful of mentioning it to her, because she would be interviewed by the police, who would treat it as more confirmation that I had known about the accident and driven away.

It faded eventually, but only because reality placed limits on how long I could plausibly imagine it would take to trace me.

God, I still feel sick and horrified at the memory of it. @Anxiouspotat0 , speak to your GP. Explain the fears that you have and seek help with your anxiety. Don't sabotage the appointment by forcing the GP to focus on reassuring you. xxx

Death occurs from a few days up to a max of 2 weeks from when symptoms start to appear. The OP said she had symptoms start on holiday. If they were from rabies, she would likely be dead by now. Hopefully this should reassure her that they are not rabies symptoms (and if she’s close to the 14 days, she’d likely get so unwell she wouldn’t be able to post on here to ask about it).

That pp was simply trying to reassure the OP.

Your skin doesn’t look like it’s broken on the picture

Okay. You do not have rabies. You do not need the jabs. You are not going to go to prison. You do need serious mental health help, and this is a priority.

I have had health anxiety. It was absolutely horrendous. I would google symptoms absolutely obsessively for hours on end just sobbing. Any new tweak was treated with absolute certainty that I was dying. I really feel for you OP.

OP you really need help with this. Try (I know it’s hard) to stop googling. And seek help for your mental health ASAP.

Yes she’d be in hospital by now or dead. However on her previous thread, and also her gp and the bat person the gp phoned, she’s been thoroughly told she doesn’t have rabies,

the symptoms are psychosomatic. She doesn’t have rabies symptoms. Not least as she was never bitten by a bat. Which deep down she knows. We have bats, there is no way one is in your bedroom and biting uou and you don’t know. And they don’t leave indents like that, they have very fine teeth.

the op needs help, she’s very unwell. But not with rabies.

If the marks are still there after 5 weeks surely that should reassure you it isn’t a bite? Surely a bite would have healed by now? Ask the GP what they are again.

I was responding to the person who said to the other person who told her if she had rabies she would be dead that was false information. I was pointing out that they were correct, she would be dead, and therefore this is a way of “proving” to the op that she doesn’t have rabies!

You will not be convicted of fraud. Get the jabs

I was agreeing with you..

Have the jabs if you want them. The NHS spaffs plenty on useless shite so it won’t make any difference.

But about your hand. I used to work with bats. Among other species. Bats here are tiny and their teeth are tiny. That seems quite big and a proper indent into your hand - I really doubt a bat did that. Even one of the larger ones.

Plus they don’t go around hiring people for fu despite what some of the vampire bat (which we don’t have) myths have people believe.

Nobody is ever going to be imprisoned for exaggerating symptoms to get a rabies jab. It just wouldn’t happen. Overstating symptoms to a Doctor wouldn’t be treated as a criminal offence. What are the symptoms, anyway, and how long after a bite do they start? Is there a time lapse after which you will be able to think to yourself, ok, maybe I haven’t got rabies after all?

You are not listening

never said you were a bad mum i said focus on their experience of living with your anxiety snd use that as motivation to get better

you are never going to get a conviction for asking for a rabies jab when you are convinced you have rabies the law has s v b v low engagement rate ( i looked it up) i asked my police friends if they have ever heard of anyone getting done for this - NoT ONE !!!!

There are people that turn up to A&E every single day and exaggerate their symptoms to get seen, they're used to it, you are very very unlikely to be punished in any way for this. I would book in to see your GP and explain everything you have in your op and see what advice they give. You've got extreme health anxiety at the very least and that needs addressing, and if they advise that you get the vaccines the at elays that's sorted too. Either way you can't continue this way so please seek some help.

OP - darling girl, get medical help and support. You can’t live in fear like this. You are not to prison, you don’t have rabies, but you are running the risk of a stress related disease like a stroke or a mental breakdown that could have you hospitalised. GP or A&E now. Xx

You don’t have rabies or rabies symptoms and you don’t need the jabs. I like suggest getting them ONLY to calm your mind but I seems like you’d also find a reason to spiral about getting them so it’s a firm no from me.
What you DO need is help and medication for your very obvious mental illness. It will be fucking up your children. Get help asap.

Oh you poor thing - this is quite extraordinary. If a bat bit you you would waken up for sure. I'm so sorry your anxiety is causing you so much stress.

You won’t be done for fraud. Have the jabs and then seek some help for your anxiety, there’s support out there - I’ve used it my self. I hope you are better soon

The only issue you have OP is a terrible case of catastrophic thinking and you need help for that, not rabies.

There's 10,000 things a mark on your hand is more likely to be than a bat bite, but I know that fact doesn't help you right not because anxiety doesn't make sense. I've only had minor cases of anxious catastrophising but I can imagine how awful it would be for it to snowball.

I hope you can get help for the anxiety soon.

As someone with an anxiety disorder who has been this exact kind of state before (over different things) I say this nicely - you need to get better help with your mental health. Try to speak to the mental health nurse at your surgery - I didn't even know my surgery had one, but they did. Contact them and tell them how much this is affecting you, that its taking over your life. Be really specific about it. Tell them it is affecting your children. Don't stop telling them until they take notice x

I also agree that getting the jabs might not sate the anxiety and it will only find something else to be anxious about instead.