(Yes we have a type of rabies here only in bats)
5 weeks ago I woke up with this mark on my hand.
Google lense said it could be a bat bite.
I went to urgent care who said it doesnt look like a bat bite, who contacted ukhsa / rabies team, who said because I didnt see a bat in the room I didnt qualify for the jabs. Since then I have been convinced im going to die. I even wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I sleep with the window open and I am convinced a bat flew in and bit me and flew out.
I then went on holiday and had a run in with a bat there and came home completely panicked. Id been having rabies symptoms for most of the holiday so I was horrifically anxious the whole time and this was just the cherry on top.
Then I stupidly over exaggerated the exposure/ what happened on holiday at urgent care. This was fueled by ny anxiety from the "bite" here and that id been having what in my head were rabies synptoms, and having another run in with a bat over there also, I wasnt thinking straight and it just came out in the moment. I regret it badly.
Ukhsa then recommended the jabs based on that but I panicked as I read lying/ over exaggerating and getting treatment as is a criminal offense/ fraud against the nhs. But I was just terrified, anxious, not thinking straight and wanted to not be scared anymore. I declined the jabs as im terrified of getting into trouble.i dont want to be a bad person. I just dont want to die.
I just want to be okay again. My mental health is in tatters, im not eating, cant stop crying, cant parent my children, can barely work, my hairs falling out, panic attacks.
I did admit to multiple doctors that I wasnt completely honest about the exposure and thats why I declined the jabs as they probably woukdnt have recommended them otherwise,
and one doctor told UKHSA this also, so there is now evidence I wasnt honest that can be used against me and im so scared.
A a&e doctor recommended I just get the jabs even though UKhsa woulsnt have rexommended tbem if I had not exaggerated, because my mental health is suffering so bad -- I had a full breakdown on him- but im convinced I will be convicted of fraud if I do. Id lose my job and what if I went to prison. I have kids..
But im convinced ill die if I dont get them.
Even though logically I know theres a chance it isnt a bat bite. But no doctors can tell me what it could be. Im just so scared.
Im having really scary thoughts as I just want this all to go away. I feel hopeless and trapped and im terrified
What would you do? Risk legal trouble and get them? Or risk rabies.