Convinced im going to die of rabies or prison

[Anxiouspotat0]

(Yes we have a type of rabies here only in bats)
5 weeks ago I woke up with this mark on my hand.
Google lense said it could be a bat bite.
I went to urgent care who said it doesnt look like a bat bite, who contacted ukhsa / rabies team, who said because I didnt see a bat in the room I didnt qualify for the jabs. Since then I have been convinced im going to die. I even wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I sleep with the window open and I am convinced a bat flew in and bit me and flew out.

I then went on holiday and had a run in with a bat there and came home completely panicked. Id been having rabies symptoms for most of the holiday so I was horrifically anxious the whole time and this was just the cherry on top.

Then I stupidly over exaggerated the exposure/ what happened on holiday at urgent care. This was fueled by ny anxiety from the "bite" here and that id been having what in my head were rabies synptoms, and having another run in with a bat over there also, I wasnt thinking straight and it just came out in the moment. I regret it badly.

Ukhsa then recommended the jabs based on that but I panicked as I read lying/ over exaggerating and getting treatment as is a criminal offense/ fraud against the nhs. But I was just terrified, anxious, not thinking straight and wanted to not be scared anymore. I declined the jabs as im terrified of getting into trouble.i dont want to be a bad person. I just dont want to die.

I just want to be okay again. My mental health is in tatters, im not eating, cant stop crying, cant parent my children, can barely work, my hairs falling out, panic attacks.

I did admit to multiple doctors that I wasnt completely honest about the exposure and thats why I declined the jabs as they probably woukdnt have recommended them otherwise,
and one doctor told UKHSA this also, so there is now evidence I wasnt honest that can be used against me and im so scared.

A a&e doctor recommended I just get the jabs even though UKhsa woulsnt have rexommended tbem if I had not exaggerated, because my mental health is suffering so bad -- I had a full breakdown on him- but im convinced I will be convicted of fraud if I do. Id lose my job and what if I went to prison. I have kids..

But im convinced ill die if I dont get them.
Even though logically I know theres a chance it isnt a bat bite. But no doctors can tell me what it could be. Im just so scared.

Im having really scary thoughts as I just want this all to go away. I feel hopeless and trapped and im terrified

What would you do? Risk legal trouble and get them? Or risk rabies.

It doesn’t really matter if you’ve been posting for years or not, @ItsABatFaceThing is tight, nothing we will say will calm you.

You should get the jabs, you won’t go to prison, I doubt a bat bit you, you are suffering from extreme anxiety and OCD. But even though I’ve said all that, you won’t listen.

As PP mentioned you need to stop googling.

I’ve had health anxiety, it sucks. I banned myself from consulting with Dr Google and it massively improved. You should try it.

I'm honestly not sure what anyone can say to the OP. I doubt she's been honest with her doctor about the severity of her anxiety although I imagine they would have some idea, hopefully.

OP we have been speaking privately and you still don’t believe me but honestly if someone who has worked with bats for over 25 years ( and is a little bit of an expert about them) tells you that you haven’t been bitten by a bat and you have not got rabies please trust them.

If anyone is going to die from rabies it’s people like me that deal with them day in day out and as I told you there is only two species of UK bat that carry rabies and one hunts and roosts over water and the other roosts in church type buildings and hunts in woodlands, the serotine which somehow you have convinced yourself you have been bitten by is a very rare bat and in my 25 odd years I’ve only come across one once or twice, they fly and hunt high in tree canopies in extremely small pockets of the UK and out of those very rare bats only something like 0.5% of them actually have rabies.

Please please just believe me when I say you are fine, I do genuinely mean you are fine, I’m glad they gave you medication for your mental health because your anxiety over this is through the roof and for no reason whatsoever, I do believe your could end up being a danger to others if your not careful.

Every county in the UK has a bat group so join yours and go and find out about these amazing creature instead of being terrified of them ( and rabies) we need all the help we can get to conserve them so imagine how much a difference you could make to the species if you put all that energy into helping them and leaning about them instead of being terrified, Bat groups run family events too so it’s a great way to teach your children all about our little winged friends.

Well done. Some big steps forward . Do exactly what your GP tells you to do. She is on your side. You won’t be convicted of fraud. It will be ok.

You’re never ever going to get convicted for getting medicine at the recommendation of a doctor. The doctor would be at fault not you… you’re not expected to know anything about medical treatments.

And a conviction doesn’t prevent you visiting the U.S. anyway you just get a conviction exception Visa. It’s also not a crime that would get you on the child’s barring list so you would continue to work in childcare.

I have two convictions and will work for the NHS come spring. They’re irrelevant to the post. You’re grossly overestimated the effect of a minor conviction. And that’s also on top of the fact that you’re NEVER GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR FOLLOWING HEALTH ADVICE FROM A DOCTOR.

Google says everything is possible it doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re healthy and not going to be convicted of anything. The only thing harming you is yourself.

Also you said you had symptoms weeks ago - rabies kills within 2-10 days of symptoms appearing. That was weeks ago. Well over the expected time frame. You’d already be dead OP. And you’re not, so you don’t have rabies.

I found out from reading my doctors / NHS app notes that they (ukhsa) only rexommended tbe jabs again based on ambiguity from the states exposure over something I wasnt honest.about.

( I do not want the jabs based off this exposure as I know the bat didnt touch me) so now I feel I cannot get the jabs as it would be based on a lie and I will be convinced I will be convicted.

As I suspected they are not dispensing the jabs based on the UK exposurre
. The doctor seemed to imply they believed there.was a risk here with that, but the notes make it clear not.

Ive been up all night crying and having panic attacks.
I cant go into work like this. But im on probation and I already went home after having a panic attack my first week (now on week 3) Ijust dont know what to do

Also to pp I wouldnt be able to move to the states with a conviction.

So sorry you are feeling so worried. It’s all going to be okay - ask yourself what you would tell your daughter or son if they were in this situation? You would probably say follow the doctors advice and get the jabs to put your mind at rest, wouldn’t you? You would say they have done the right thing to speak to the doctor and to take the support that the doctor is offering, and that they won’t be convicted for following what the doctor has suggested to help with their anxiety. Try to give yourself some positive, kind, supportive messages that you would do if it was your child suffering like you are. Big hugs, you can get through this and find ways to manage your anxiety going forward with the doctors support.

They don’t care if you lied. Honestly. Not a single health worker is ever going to discuss you with the police.

Youre not going to get convicted. Especially not because as you can quite well see you are mentally unwell. You would not be considered to have capacity to have comitted the crime as it is a symptom of your mental illness.

But seriously the police don’t care. They honestly don’t give a shit about you wanting rabies jabs. Couldn’t care less.

In fact why don’t you call them and tell them everything? You could literally tell them you’re afraid you’re going to die from rabies if you don’t get the jabs but that they’re going to come for you if they do. They might help you.

Did you tell your GP that you’ve already missed a day from work with anxiety and did you tell her how anxious you’re feeling now?

Running has given you some excellent facts on bats in the UK and backs up w
hat I said earlier about the last case of rabies being contracted in the UK was in 1902.

I think if you’ve been awake crying all night you need to go back to the GP as an emergency and tell her the full extent of your anxiety over this. You could even show the GP this thread.

Feeling worried must be the number one understatement of the century

It is clear from your updates that NO actions in the real world will ease your anxiety. If you have the jabs you will not only fret about legal consequences - you will also start googling for negative health effects potentially caused by the jabs.

You need to stop looking outside for solutions to a problem that is inside.

I think this thread is very damaging for your health, since you are simply using it to fuel rumination. It doesn't feel different from, say, a thread where an anorexic was worrying about her weight and posters were chipping in with suggestions about reducing calories. I'm amazing at medics going along with the idea of jabs for mental health reasons. Perhaps they were just stymied by your intransigence, as so many posters here have been.

Your posts here make me feel angry. I don't think it is inappropriate to share that with you. I'm hoping that an expression of annoyance helps to step out of the circle of delusional anxiety and reassurance-craving. Bland and gentle reassurances relating to a non-existing problem and steeped in affirming kindness clearly don't help you. You need connect to connect with reality and be honest with yourself.

I know how difficult that is (from experience), but you are using this thread as a strategy to avoid even having to try.

I agree with this. Not angry but frustrated. I have severe health anxiety too but at this point it almost looks like OP is actively looking for things to spiral about and it is so extreme that to me, OP is either severely ill with a psychiatric/psychologic disorder, or is making everything up to get attention. Both are very worrying and reason to seek professional help.

What would you do in my situation?

Op you need professional help, I think your irrational panic over this is wayyyyy beyond what anyone on MN can help with unfortunately.

Your GP may well have online CBT resources that they can point you to in the short term. I can't remember if you have already been referred for CBT (or other forms of therapy) from a one-on-one provider, but I'd think that is what you need.

Do what the GP tells you to do. And then forget about it! Move on.

You are being seriously irrational.

The way you are behaving is not typical for most people.

Have the jabs and move on.

I suffer horrendous anxiety. In the past it was growth related and I’ve had to work really hard to overcome that. You need to do the same. It will take time but you can get there.

Book the jabs today and then refer yourself to Talking Therapies. Start the sertraline and stick with it.

I would trust in the professionals' opinions on whether or not the vaccine is advised and act accordingly. Then I would put every bit of energy I have into recovering from the acute stress (eat,rest, gentle excersise) and committing to therapy for the long term to learn how to deal with uncertainty, because you are craving a certainty that no one can ever given you.
There will always be another anxiety trigger around the corner and you need to learn techniques to calm your nervous system and rewire your anxious brain.
You can not control everything that happens to you but you can learn how not to make yourself ill with anxiety.

It is hard OP. But not as hard as what you are doing to yourself now.

Can you try some breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? And have you started the sertraline?

Maybe this is helpful for you to read:

https://gassho.info/blog-page/how-to-sit-with-fear-of-illness-in-buddhist-practice/

Just do what GP says OP. If she wants to rule out the slim chance of rabies by sending you for jabs, do it. You’re covered legally. Then follow instructions regarding your mental health to the letter. By all means, tell us how you’re feeling but ensure you’re telling the GP too, as she’s the one who can help you. Good luck and update us.

In your situation I would either do as the GP has advised you or call the crisis team because you are at the point where you’ll need admitting for inpatient care unless you can control this.

You can’t function and are delusional about the risk of being convinced and I dread to think what else you are like this about.

Take the jabs and take the medication you have been given. And contact the crisis team as you need at the very least daily monitoring.

Op, are you not supposed to be at work? How are you posting on here so much and also how are you able to work, and only sent home once? You portray someone who can’t function on here, but appear to be going to work every day and able to perform?

There is no chance she will be admitted for NHS inpatient treatment as the threshold is so high these days.
TBH I am struggling to believe the story now. Why not just do what the GP advised?