I lied to ds about his pip. Because he was violent.

[Pipanger]

In a nut shell. Ds has some mental health issues. He was very aggressive and violent to me. It was awful and went on for sometime. Eventually ds went into supported accommodation. But he was still at my house alot more so than the accommodation he would spend most of his days amd nights in my house. Eating food, doing washing . Using the gas/electric.

Because of his aggression and violence. I couldn't explain to him that he needed to pay his way. So I lied to him about his pip. I told him that he was getting middle rate when he was actually getting heigh rate. I did this so I could take just under 300 for monthly house keeping

Things have changed now hes not really stayed at my house for the past 3 months. So I can't justify taking that money anymore. I have been saving it for him for the past 3 months.

The problem is that I lied but I done it out of safety and the fact I couldn't afford to pay for the stuff he was using.

But now hes not here he needs the full amount the problem is it don't want it to cause a massive fall out. I cant even just tell him theres been a change in his rate here's the money. Because hes claiming for a free bus pass and needs the proof of pip. So hes going to know when it all started. I cant just say you had to pay your way because he doesn't think he should and doesn't really know the cost of running things.

Hes also extremely bad with money his money is gone within 2-3 days of payment. Then he borrows money of everyone he knows. And the extra money he gets wont change that as he will do the same thing. Im an ideal world I would like to keep saving it for him

Its something I could think about over the weekend. I dont have their contact details so im not sure how I would do that i will have a think

How?! A an officer should have visited you to make sure he was not being coerced.

Thank you. maybe I can ask them to resend it. So if I just ask for the April statement . I can then show that to ds and start giving him the full amount?

The DWP say they do this but nine times out of ten it’s just done over the phone. There’s far too many people losing capacity to interview every single person

I can't answer that . I just told them how it was. There was input from CAMHS as well maybe they backed it up.

This

I am thinking about doing that . I just need to get over this hurdle first.

I hope your dd is getting better. My ds was simlar. Hope your OK to uts very hard 💐

A home visit isn’t always carried out. For a period of time during the pandemic they all stopped and were slow to even some of home visits. Even when a home visit is carried out as part of the process of becoming appointee agreement isn’t required. Some wouldn’t agree (or be able to agree) even though an appointee is required.

its not necessarily from April, it would have been when they made the decision to award him the pip.

Oh . Hes going to think i owe him money for the past 2 years.

That is tricky for you OP. Sorry you had some nasty responses. I’m the appointee too for my boys and there’s no issue keeping some for housekeeping at all. Money has to come from somewhere!

I hope you keep safe. Just put aside the money and give him it when it’s safe to do so. What a difficult situation.

We had someone from the DWP visit our home and interview both myself and dh and he had to give his full agreement to my becoming his Appointee for all DWP benefit related matters. Dh has serious mental health issues, is under the care of the local community mental health team, psychosis team etc yet only ever gets awarded 11 points and needs me to act as Appointee. It makes me wonder just how bad you have to be to get higher rate PIP for mental health issues.

Have you considered asking his social worker to manage his finances? If he’s violent towards you then I’d say that’s a very good reason it should be SS managing his money.

It sounds hard for you both . Sadly i can't answer your question. I just filled in the forms and CAMHS done their bit. I don't even know what CAMHS said because its confidential to ds.

Exactly this, although I believe it can take a while to sort out getting the local authority to have appointee ship, well it certainly does in our area currently.
Let the LA decide if he has capacity to manage his finances, especially now he is living independently, then he can't get angry or frustrated at you.

@Pipanger if you are his official appointee then you are in control of his money, as long as you’ve spent what you have in his “best interests” then that is fine, be it on bills, food, clothing, days out with him etc.

There must be an official document in place with the DWP called a BF56 which you would have signed after an interview.
if he has mental capacity then he can ask for the appointee to be removed and how he spends his pip money is his choice.
There are some good replies on this thread, ignore the silly ones. You need to find a way to tell him and have someone with you such as his support worker.

Thats not the issue as such. Its safely being able to let him know hes getting a heigher rate than he thought. Once thats sorted if he wants me to I can stop being appointee.

The statement of entitlement shows what points he has been awarded beside the descriptors, not the money he has been recieving.

Obv it depends on how much you were taking but I would just be honest, that you took out his share of the bills.

You could say part of it was given directly to you for expenses but now that he officially doesn’t live with you it’s gone all to him but that depends if you want to tell another lie.

Why has he not been getting the full
amount if he’s not staying with you at all?

Oh maybe I can sort something. I will ask for copy's and see what i get.

My dd had a very clear understanding of money and is doing a Maths degree. She’s on full pip. Handling money is only worth a small amount of points.

Honestly you let him him stay with you after getting him into accomodation i am not victim blaming but you put yourself in danger and took his money to boot!

I understand your saying he's violent and this is a real stress and fear for you. Completely understandable not wanting to rock the boat by asking for money when he was still learning to live independently. If you are his appointee, can you have an open conversation with him where you explain he gets the full entitlement, you will keep by x amount as you have been doing and when he's out of money, you will divide the amounts by how long is left in the month and give him a share each week, so you can guide him and teach him how to manage his money better? As he starts to adapt to that independence it's best to get it put into his account ASAP. The last 3 months money, can this be put aside for 'big expenses' now he's independently living on his own?

He was staying with me but not officially. He was staying in supported accommodation. But he was only ever there for approx-4-6 hours. At mine rest of the time. He said he couldn't cope with sharing a bathroom/kitchen with 14 other teenagers.

He then met a girl and hes been seeing her for the past 3 months and hasn't been home . Apart from to visit we know her from years ago.

During this time the supported accommodation had now found him semi independent living. So he now has his own bathroom /kitchen so he now has to stay there for a reasonable amount of time.

So its only been for the past 3 months that hes not been here for most of the time. And that money i have been saving for him.

I write a long reply and deleted it . Theres no point