Parents and carers of anxious teens(part 8)

[MinionKevin]

Started a new thread as I can see previous OP hadn’t been on for a while.

Link to previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/4970868-parents-and-carers-of-anxious-teenspart-7?page=40

No exam leave here...
Counselling cancelled today so not sure if that will have an impact 🤔
Art practical those week, one exam next week then 21 to go! 😬😩

Good luck to the DC and their families to get through the gruelling exams.
Hang in there everyone!!

New to this thread really but hoping someone has some advice. My 17yo dd appears to have developed anxiety / stress around upcoming a levels. She has had low level feeling sick for a month or so and is now at the point she feels sick all the time, she cannot go to lessons, she feels sick at work.

She has been referred for CBT which I am hoping will kick in quickly as it’s through Bupa. School have arranged for her to sit at the back near the door in case she needs to leave but she’s worried about losing time in exams by going to toilet. They said with a diagnosis she can get rest breaks but I cannot see that happening in the next 3 weeks. Does anyone have any suggestions?

The school can allow rest breaks - she doesn't need a dx for that.
My dd - along with others on this thread - use promethazine at night to help with sleep. Available otc. You could also try the youngminds website for tips on managing anxiety. Dd also uses kalms occasionally - I think it's a placebo tbh, but if it helps?

Dr could perhaps prescribe an anti nausea tablet?

I went to the chemist and all they could suggest was travel sickness tablets…..

will the gp have more generic anti nausea medicines?

Dd uses bucopan which you can buy otc
You leave them under your gum
They don't taste great
I used them for migraine nausea and they do work

sorry, they are called buccastem not buscopan

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky
Sorry to hear about DD. Exams are the most stressful thing. I have a friend who works on Camhs and she says this time of the year their work load increases significantly due to the anxiety of the students.

Remind DD exams are not everything. She has come this far. Once they start, things will hopefully seem better. Focus on good food, rest and some gentle distraction if she is amenable.
Go through her options with her. What happens if she fails, doesn't make the grades, what does plan B, C etc look like.
What does she want to do in the future?
If she has something planned for the holidays, remind her of the fun times ahead.
Just keep reassuring and if possible, stay calm yourself.
I know how nerve racking it can be.
It's a hard time but hopefully once they start, the exams will be over soon.
Rescue remedy has no side effects so can be a safe option. My DD likes to think they help. Whether they do, I don't know.
Try promethazine well before the exams and see how she responds.
My DD uses it when distressed and it knocks her out.
Not something I would recommend on the day of the exam.

Thanks @DarkChocHolic

i had picked up end of last week she wasn’t getting enough downtime. Leaving for school 7.15 then going to library with friends and not getting home until 9pm. I had said she needed to get back earlier to have some rest. We went for nightly walks in her GCSEs and I need to restart those.

It really is self inflicted pressure. She is predicted A star x 3 and only needs ABB for her course. She has a lot of leeway. However in her mind she will feel she has failed if she doesn’t get what school have predicted.

i think she is worried about going to Uni as well - she wants to go but is scared. She will be 18 and 2 weeks when she goes so very young.

I have broached taking a year out and she just says she will be worried for a whole year then. She didn’t put any London unis down unfortunately as said she didn’t want to stay at home. She had been pondering Kings so not sure that would be in Clearing.

she has the best summer planned - loads of gigs, family holiday in Far East and a European short break with her friend . Another break to stay with a friend elsewhere in UK.

We do walks, too. They do seem to help.

We live typical London suburb but have some small holdings really close. Just gone up there and seen some horses, sheep, chickens and super cute teeny baby goats. Looked across the fields.

it’s a lovely place for a walk.

We are lucky, we have lots of green space within walking distance. We are a 30 min drive from a national park, too 😊

Good luck to all the dc doing exams in the next few weeks/months.
Will be thinking of all them and sending lots of luck and positive vibes x

Thank you!
Dd seems ok...but then she is until she isn't 🤷‍♀️
I've just realised she's forgot to take her art folder in today. Sigh.
So even more stuff to take in tomorrow.
I was hoping for a lovely quiet day...but next door are having their roof replaced!
😬😩

Really struggling with DD at home. Keeps saying she is sad and depressed and doesn't know how to navigate life or spend time with bf.
She has been crying and insisting I allow them to spend time together at home.
I am for some reason digging my heels over this and refuse to have him. My reasons are she is not stable enough for a relationship, he has his A level in a few days (year above) and i am not ready to allow boys over until the relationship is relatively stable.
I am just not comfortable.
She left home for 2 days last week and switched off location. She did write a long message saying she would be back home on Saturday and she did.
She says I feel trapped at home. I told her i want her to get her wings and then fly from home but without any sort of job she isn't going to make it in the world.
I am so worried and don't have a clue how to navigate this.
She also mentioned her therapist whom she absolutely loves met with her boyfriend
I was really surprised to hear this. Is this even an allowed thing as per guidelines etc?
Xx

I've no idea wrt therapist tbh...dds counsellor wants to see me next time for a catch up.
Is your dd panicking about her bf going off to university? I wonder if there's a bit of hysterical bonding going on?
Sounds really tough, I'm sorry xx

@DarkChocHolic That sounds difficult and to be honest I don't have any advice as neither of mine have shown any interest in having a romantic relationship, both look at it and say it feels like too much hard work 🙄
The therapy thing is strange unless your dd brought him into a session and the therapist agreed to it as part of the counselling process. Is there a chance you can meet and talk to the therapist (with dd's permission)?

Well after not having gone to any lessons for neat enough a week she managed two Thursday and two Friday. She is still feeling sick all the time but is managing to keep the fear under control most of the time enough to stay in lessons. She has said when she has a proper task to focus on that helps as well rather than just reading or discussion.

she has also been granted rest breaks by school which is reassuring for her

Did you try the buccastem?
Glad she's managed a few lessons.

Dd has finished her art practical (thank god)
Drama exam on Thursday, then the core subjects kick off w/c 12th.
There is some revision going on, but not enough 🤷‍♀️
Her extra curricular activity have decided to go from 4 x Sunday practices before the event to 6!
Dd definitely won't be at all of them.

My daughter suffers with emetophobia and anxiety can make her feel nausea - she always keeps these with her as she says they help with any sick feeling? Could be worth a try even if just a placebo effect.

www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/the-ginger-people-gin-gins-chewy-ginger-candy-60017347

@destiel00- not that one, the gp recomend another sickness medication I have forgotten name of that’s an otc one.

thanks @GiddyUpJingleHorsewe will try those.

she only managed one lesson today. Her psych teacher said don’t worry about second psych lesson today go home but forgot to tell other psych teacher so she was marked as unauthorised absent.

Dd seems OK 🤷‍♀️
We've sorted her water bottle and pencil case etc for her written exams.
She's going to some revision sessions at school.
Counselling is a bit all over the place atm due to illness last week and bank Holiday this week so hoping that doesn't trigger anything.
Older dd unhappy happy this evening as she's got to go to another placement tomorrow which she forgot about 🙄
I'm trying to be zen, but just feel sad 😔

first exam on Friday and I still haven’t heard back about early exam leave, thing is, she just won’t go in. So it’s better for their attendance.

I also got forms to move her from DLA to PIP. I made the mistake of asking her some of the questions on it and she made out she was fine doing everything on there zero issues. I then asked more questions and she admitted she couldn’t and got very upset. Stupid paperwork needs to be in next week so has to be done. Not the best time.