A thread for those of us who just want to tell each other things about our day

[LikeMyHeartIsAboutToStopBeating]

Prompted by a discussion on another thread, this is a safe and supportive place to share those small and inconsequential things you'd probably tell your partner but aren't big enough to warrant calling your friend, starting a new thread here or discussing with your therapist. It's for those of us who don't have someone we can talk to in that way - maybe we are newly (or long term) single, we have a partner who isn't willing or able to have those conversations, we have teenage children who grunt but aren't that interested, or we just want to hang out here.

No rules, apart from be nice. Nothing too small to share if sharing will make you feel more connected to people or you just want somewhere to offload about small problems/share something funny/have a "would you believe it" anecdote. I can't guarantee to be here all the time but will try and make a habit of checking in.

I'll start by saying that I went to Screwfix to pick up a plunger because the toilet keeps blocking (my life is whatever is the opposite of glamorous) and there was a couple there trying to buy something but struggling because they didn't speak great English. The guy behind the counter asked them where they were from (he had a proper Cockney accent) and when they said France, he started speaking French to them. Not the best French (my mother is French, I'm not fluent but I know enough to distinguish good French from bad) but enough to help them figure out what they needed. Then the woman on the next still said (in French) that she did French at school and wished she still remembered more of it, and I said it was funny to hear people speaking French in a Screwfix in East London, and suddenly the world felt like a very friendly place. I came home with a new tape measure but realised I didn't ever get round to buying the plunger, so I will have to go back tomorrow.

Husband is having major surgery next week that will put him out of action for at least a month and then 6 months to full recovery. I’m feeling overwhelmed already about Christmas. I’ve to do it all on my own this year and I always feel overwhelmed but this year it’s worse. I’ll also have to look after all household 5ings as well as be available to drive him to appointments for about 6 weeks and also to collect his prescriptions etc. any advice would be welcome to ease the awful anxiety.

That is tough and I think the anticipation of it will probably the worse than the actual thing. I don't know about you but for me writing to-do lists really helps me to feel in control, writing lists of all the people I need to buy gifts for, writing out ideas for each gift, weekly or daily to-do lists as well so I feel a sense of accomplishment ticking it all off. Hope your husband recovers quickly

I am happy today. My wife is home after 20 days in hospital.
The local council will provide care at home but it may take a few weeks to organise but she is home and we are both so happy

@OldJohn thats such fantastic news! I hope your wife gets settled soon and you’re eating donuts round the dining table again in no time.

Such good news @OldJohn.

Yes today I made about 4 lists and did the first thing on the first list. It definitely helps me to feel organized. I was also dreading having to drive him to the hospital which would involve a 6 am start and into a city I feel very stressed driving in. However I said I’d take him there and ask our son to pick him up. Today my son insisted on doing both drives. Sometimes if you step back the universe can sort it. 😀

That's great news! What a lovely son you have. You're going to do just great, it will be tough no doubt about it but you are tougher!! X

John this is great news about your wife, I'm so happy for you both! Is she a little more herself in recent days?

What are we all up to for Sunday then? I've been awake since 5 as per usual. I intend to stay home today and not leave my pyjamas. I'm going to read a lot today too, I just need a day of rest before the daily chaos kicks off again tomorrow.

After a day in yesterday with. I agenda I’m off to meet a friend this morning for retail therapy and a chat. I feel very weird without the antidepressants. I hope to feel more normal when I’m 3 months free of them. 1st February is the day that I hope to be more balanced. The worse part is that I’m ready to fight everyone to the point that I’m wondering if I’m imagining the small injustices done daily to me

Thanks @Nogodsnomasters
We are slowly settling into her being back home. District Nurses came on Friday and an OT and a Physio came today. I am trying to find out when the local council will start their twice a day carers visits but they don't reply to emails or return phone calls.
My wife is a lot better mentally. She still gets confused but as she is getting settled at home she is getting better.

It is interesting how things can change. On Friday afternoon a nurse came to change the dressings on my wife's legs. She was concerned about her so phoned her GP. We heard nothing until at 11:30pm an out of hours GP arrived. He did a few checks and called an ambulance. It was a busy night and the ambulance arrived about 5:00 on Saturday morning. I went with my wife to the hospital, my first time in the back of an ambulance. My wife is now back in hospital and I managed to get three hours sleep this morning from 08:30 to 11:30. I’ve been to see her and the doctors are doing various tests.
It is really good to be able to share all this here.
I think I'll be in bed early tonight

Oh gosh, @OldJohn, you must be exhausted. Let’s hope your wife gets the treatment she needs and you get a good nights rest.

@OldJohn we are here whenever you need/want to share. I hope you are fast asleep now and getting good rest. Life really is a rollercoaster. Your wife is in good hands. Please take care of yourself and I hope tomorrow is a positive day for you and your wife.

@OldJohn how have things been recently?

Thanks for asking.
What a question.
Good days and bad days. My wife has been in bed in hospital for a week. She was got up to sit in a chair on Friday but Saturday and Sunday simply in bed. She gets a bit confused about what day it is, not surprising stuck in hospital. I was concerned when she asked me to pop in to see her mum on my way home (her mother has been dead for 25 years).
I am visiting twice a day and it is hard work but hopefully she will get home soon and the hospital will organise a care at home package.

@OldJohn yes, hospital is a confusing place - interrupted routine and sleep, no fresh air, medication etc. My MiL has been in hospital 2 weeks and developed hospital delirium. It’s good your wife sat in a chair and I’m sure they’ll have her out in it again this week (I’ve found that not much happens over weekends).

She is lucky you visit twice a day. Visiting can be tiring, so make sure you get proper rest when you can. Fingers crossed this week has more good days than bad.

John, sorry to hear you are no further forward with your wife's treatment. What do they think is going on with her now? You must be exhausted doing two visits a day. I did one per day when my sister was in hospital for a few months solid and it was very difficult. We're all thinking of you on this thread.

How is everyone else doing? A bad cold has been kicking my arse the last two weeks. Anxiety hasn't been great but I've been trying so hard to keep going.

Husband home today after 2 1/2 weeks in hospital 😊

Back again for surgery in New Year but here with us until then. House feels wrong without him.

@MrsSkylerWhite that is good news. I hope you enjoy a good Christmas together ❤️

Ah, thank you @OldJohn

It’s a low fat diet pre-surgery so optimistically scouring the internet for low fat pigs in blankets and brandy butter 😂

I thought I would give an update as I can be totally open on here while in real life I need to try to protect others.
There might be progress, someone from the hospital is coming to visit me tomorrow morning to see where we can put a hospital bed as my wife needs one. I think I’ll dump our double bed and get a single for me so we can share a room.
My problem is my wife’s mental state, she asks me to pop in a see her mum (she died 25 years ago).She started talking to her sister and got annoyed when there was no reply from her sister who was not there.
Other times she is 100% on the ball and we talk about all sorts sensibly and with her good insight.
Thanks for reading, it is good to share.

Hi @OldJohn I know how tough, and draining, it can be having to watch what you say in front of others so it’s good you feel able to share here.

Your wife’s mental state must feel very unsettling, and understandably may be concerning for you. It’s not nice to watch and it’s difficult to know what to say to someone experiencing confusion/delirium in this way. I’m pleased that there are times when she’s on the ball - hang on to those moments.

If it offers comfort in any way, my MiL was exactly the same during her hospital stay. We think it was a result of pain, antibiotics and a water infection. When those underlying causes were treated, she bounced back incredibly quickly. I hope your wife experiences the same mental recovery.

Your wife is lucky to be the recipient of so much love and care. I hope arrangements are put in place soon so you can be together at home again. Please take good care of yourself - and you know where we are if you need to share.

Today was tough I went to see my wife who has been moved to a different hospital. I arrived about 10:30 and she was sitting up in a chair.She was cheerful and much more herself.She is in a three bedded room, one lady simply snored all morning the other said “I need a drink of water” then “Nurse, I need the toilet”. She repeated these non-stop for two hours. I then left for an hour to get some shopping.
In the afternoon the same lady kept shouting to be to come and sit with her, she called me Gordon and seemed to think I was her son or husband. The nurses tried to explain but she kept it up for three hours.
My wife was far from happy.If it is the same tomorrow, I am going to ask that she gets moved to somewhere with less noise. I don’t think it is fair to expect her to cope with the shouts all day. I know they will say they are full and there is no space.
The staff are good and caring but this one patient is a problem. It is clear that she has problems, maybe dementia, but I am dreading tomorrow.

@OldJohn how are things?