General support thread - come on in

[Kielyflower]

I couldn’t see a recent one of these so thought I’d start one.

I just feel I need to do something positive so will hopefully share some more thoughts later that I hope will help - others as well as myself.

In the meantime, feel free to check in as, if nothing else, it helps to feel less alone.

@Jk24 well, if I had all of that to deal with, I'd feel sorry for myself too! I've been through a lot,it seems....I'm sorry that I have to deal with it all. Life is hard.😤😤😤🤭🤭🤭. And to top it off, we re looked at to make everything ok. We have all the decisions to make, food to cook, cleaning to do and don't really have time to take a breath! I'm ok, just peri menopausal and can't sleep. Hubby is so unsympathetic and accuses me of purposely not wanting to go to bed. God, I want to punch him

@Teasie123 thank you for sharing. I think because dh doesn't get it or can understand how ny childhood was, talking about it with him tonight has brought a lot back. Youre right about having to do the lions share. I take it you're in a similar boat? X

@Jk24 oh my defo!! Sometimes I'm taking to him and it's like he's having a completely different conversation! He ll butt in with random things and I just give up. And yes I have so much of the lions share, I could open a zoo!!🤣🤣🤣🤭🤭🤭, and my hubby had a nice calm upbringing. Mine was hectic and chaotic and crazy. Sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad. He just doesn't get it.

@Teasie123 as much as we love them they're a royal pain in the arse at times aren't they 😂thank you for chatting to me tonight I was so upset earlier x

@Jk24 my mum, god rest her, used to say, they're a pain in the arse, but they're our pains in the arse!! And you are so very welcome.🤗🤗🤗

Your mum was right x

I hope everyone is okay tonight. Not sure if anyone is on SM but I've recently deactivated mine and it is helping me somewhat. No comparing to anyone. No feeling inferior. No seeing only positive over the top gushy news. I'm trying to be more in the moment and grounded in my own life, hard as that is at times.

I hope you're al having a nice night however you're spending it.🎁

Thank you for this. Easy to get into a scarcity mindset sometimes.

@JamSandle I've been SM free for 11 years... weird for someone that's 34 ey? Never regretted it one bit. That's probably why I'm so open and honest and probably quite outing on MN. I'm just being me. How are you tonight?

Not at all! Very refreshing actually. I think you can live a more authentic life without it.

I'm feeling quite anxious this morning which doesn't feel very nice. Trying to be with it though. How are you feeling?

I've also been SM free. It didn't help comparing my whole life and my low points to people's highlight reels.

Yesterday I hit a low-point of sorts. I had nightmares (again) and I woke up at midnight. Had a bit of a row with unsupportive family members. All I try to do is just get through the day, and I hear judgement and criticism from people ignorant about mental health.

I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt incredibly alone. I needed support but people (physically) around me made things worse 😥

I also feel so much guilt because there are things that use to make me happy but my brain just decided that I can't enjoy them anymore and created a layer of fear about those activities. This feels so confusing because logically I know I'm not doing anything bad, but I can't enjoy only things that made me happy.

I felt so bad because, although I'm surrounded with people, there was nobody I could speak with because they would just make me worse.

And sometimes it's so scary waking up in the middle of the night, having nightmares and knowing there are no safe people around you. I feel so so alone most of the time 😥 Sorry for venting...

Oh man, I have some SUPER critical really rigid family members who simply don't 'believe' in mental illness. They really lack compassion and kindness. They can be blunt and judgemental. I see them as little as I can now. I still love them but see them as very repressed. They don't seem to reconnect to emotions or pain or life. In all honesty to me they are the weird ones!

I'm sorry you don't have any safe people, but you do have us!

It makes such a difference doesn't it? My problems are still my problems but I no longer know what people are doing unless they're close to me. I'm happy with that.

@JamSandle I'm shattered! I had so much going round in my head I got to sleep at 4am! Been out with ds all day today while dh did some home renovations. How are you today? I doubt you'll miss SM its the route of all evils lol.

@snowfoxglove sorry you're feeling like that and having a lack of support doesn't help! How has your day been? Were all here for a handhold. Can you try doing 1 small thing at a time that you used to enjoy? Don't put too much pressure on x

Glad you managed to get out and about with DS. Is he feeling better now? Sorry you didn't sleep well. I'm very sad today - just flat, defeated, future looking bleak.

Trying not to be a victim but just not feeling very happy. All my friends are settled in life and I've just gone through a breakup. I feel like isolating from people. I don't feel connected to anyone anymore.

Just life adminning, walking and spending time with my sibling who is my best friend.

@JamSandle hes got another virus now! None stop through winter. Which is why I wanted him out today while dh knocked a wall down!

Sorry you're feeling like this, you're not being the 'victim' you're grieving the loss of your relationship which is a normal and natural process. I'm glad you've got your sibling to help get you through but we're here too. Walking is a good way to clear your head. I had a drive up through the moors today and it was lovely x

Any words of advice? I'm worried I'm slipping more deeply, I'm barely getting out of bed and dressed let alone not leaving the house. Haven't left the house since Thursday. I feel numb and apathetic.

My period is expected in 9-10 days, and I am worried about the emotional storm that brings.

@Greenspace81 hey! I'm sorry you're struggling. Can you walk to the corner shop and get some milk and biscuits? Make yourself a cup and send us a pic? This is my challenge for you today

Trying to get out of the house is a good idea. Even if you don’t want to. sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do in order to take steps to get better.

Once, when I was really low I got some strange comfort from this blog, quite possibly someone on mumsnet shared it.

It might not speak you but I found some relief. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html?m=1

Hope you managed that tea and a biscuit Greenspace. My DD baked some today. Half a success and half a burnt to a crisp frisbee. But we will still eat them. 🤦‍♀️

Me too! If not here to lend an ear if you want to vent.

@Wolfiefan that made me giggle. Enjoy your Frisbee biscuits lol hope you're ok x

@Greenspace81 I found even going into the garden for 10 mins helped a little when I was at my worst. Depression is such a vicious cycle. You feel so bad you don't want to do anything but not doing anything just makes you feel worse. Obviously you know that and I understand how much of a physical effort it takes to even go and wash your face when it's bad. Sending hugs. X

Some days just being able to move to the window and look at the sky is a massive win. Be kind to yourself. X

Thanks so much for your replies! @Kielyflower I love that blogpost! I related to the negative self-talk.

I made a hot drink and a basic meal.

Managed to have a shower and sea salt bath with a book too.

It would be great to vent soon.

In the meantime, would it be ok to post here daily about getting out of bed /managing to leave the house etc? I don't want to hijack the thread or bore others with mundane details but I've never been in such a rut for so long!