General support thread - come on in

[Kielyflower]

I couldn’t see a recent one of these so thought I’d start one.

I just feel I need to do something positive so will hopefully share some more thoughts later that I hope will help - others as well as myself.

In the meantime, feel free to check in as, if nothing else, it helps to feel less alone.

@snowfoxglove well done on getting out!

I've been quite good the last couple of weeks of faking it for ds and dh sake. I'll get to a point hopefully where I no longer have to fake it x

5 hours after that post I'm sat here crying 😢 I'm so fed up. I'm consumed by guilt over ddog blaming myself for his death. I feel like I'm failing my family. I just don't like myself very much. Sorry needed a rant

@Jk24 Offering a handhold and vent as much as you need. I noticed that a lot of us on this thread feel guilt/shame. It comes with anxiety/depression. But then again if we could be this bad it would mean we would also have the power to fix it all. And it's just not possible. When I lost my pet, I felt so much guilt and sadness even though logically I knew it wasn't my fault.

It's not your fault. We're here for you. You're not failing anyone.

@snowfoxglove thank you for responding. Its been 7 weeks and I'm still very much suffering and torturing myself. To top it off the rspca just text to thank me for my monthly donation! I know it sounds illogical but I found a little bit of drops left in 2 of the 4 lots of treatment he was on 3 months prior and convinced myself by not completely finishing them it's why he got glaucoma. Even my gp said a days worth of drops would not have prevented it but I've convinced myself! Also not getting round to doing other things for him before he passed. I'm consumed and so upset and angry with myself x

I'm sorry for your loss too x

I think it’s the Blue Cross that offers the chance to talk to someone when you’re suffering from the bereavement of losing a pet. Would it be helpful to talk it through??

@Wolfiefan I've rang them twice. What a lovely service. I can't ring them all day every day though they will be fed up with me. Thank you for your advice x

Whyever not?? You are grieving and that’s exactly what the service is for.
Also have you got any strategies to deal with intrusive or obsessive thoughts? (The vet has said that the tiny amount of drops left wasn’t relevant so is it possible it’s MH related? If that even makes sense. I’ve spent today dealing with elderly mother and I’m not even sure what my name is anymore! 🥴)

I didn't speak to vet about the drops but the practice manager said and my doc said wouldn't have made a difference. Therapist has told me today to take my thoughts to court and I'm trying to do that which is probably why I'm getting so upset as I'm thinking about it all round and around in my head 24/7 x

Hand hold from me too @MarshaMarshaMarshmellow and everyone.

It certainly is all a total rollercoaster - that comes though in recent posts from different people.

I suppose there is some comfort that our symptoms clearly cross over as it shows we are experiencing something that is actually a pretty common part of the human condition. Sometimes it can feel like you’re the only one and that your brain is misfiring in a totally random and unique way, but actually it’s doing pretty much the same as what other brains are doing that are in the heads of those of us struggling.

Sorry, that was a bit of a ramble off on a tangent but I think what I’m trying to say is that people experiencing these issues do get better and so will we.

I am definitely improved from a month ago, but equally feel that now is possibly a precarious time as I feel well enough to resume some normality but sometimes it’s normality that makes me feel rubbish. That probably makes no sense.

Keep plodding everyone, getting out in nature is brilliant as someone else said. Signs of spring to spot is good. X

If your thoughts are bothering you, I might be tempted to only take them to court during opening hours! Try to have some downtime - maybe a mundane hobby or a bubble bath. Mindfully looking at and feeling the bubbles.

@Kielyflower that's a great way to look at it thank you. Court is officially closed for the day x

Hope you're ok x

@Tarsandcase did you get through x

They said it wasn't urgent and I'd have to try tomorrow. So I'll be on to them at 8am.

@Tarsandcase please drill into them it's MH related and it is urgent. You deserve to be seen. Hope you're ok x

I've got a face to face GP appointment for Thursday morning. I'm ok with that. It gives me time to write down how I'm feeling, so I can properly explain it to the doctor, but isn't so far away that I downplay the symptoms and end up with just another blood test.

Btw I agree, the Blue Cross pet bereavement service is fantastic. They helped me so much when we lost our dog to cancer a few years ago.

@Jk24 totally agree with pp. That's what Blue cross bereavement service is for. I'm sure they don't expect one phone call and your fixed. Hope you feel a tad better today. @Tarsandcase glad you managed to get an appointment.
Feeling very unmotivated and lethargic today. Could quite easily sleep all day. 🥱

@Tarsandcase glad you got in! Take as much help as available.

@Ilovedogs1 hope you're ok. Message if you need anything x

Does anyone else ever experience this. I don't know how I feel today. I don't feel massively anxious but I don't feel calm either. I feel like I'm trying so hard with my anxiety disorder with methods I'm being taught but also feel despondent about ever being 'normal ' I feel so lucky about things in my life but also scared it will be ruined. I definitely don't feel good enough. I'm tired of this constant battle.

Yes, I can recognise this. I also feel fairly sceptical about ever being normal but I have found that I have felt better since relaxing my ideas and expectations about what normal is.

I also think my anxiety is exacerbated by constantly analysing how I feel etc.

Feeling not good enough is totally the illness talking - maybe that feeling is one that should be taken to court like jk's therapist has suggested?!

The battle is relentless and tiring. I try to balance out the battling and digging deep with resting and having a bit more of a 'sod it' attitude towards things.

I was listening to a radio show about anxiety and depression where they said we are socialised to think that being happy and smiling all the time (especially via social media and TV programmes) is normal while really a lot of people struggle with low mood and depression, and that this is more normal. This is why it helps to know there are other people who struggle too, it makes life easier.

I tried to schedule an appointment with a therapist yesterday and they were unavailable. Feeling a bit sceptical. It's also very expensive.

Did anyone have experience with therapy/psychotherapists? Did it help?

I'm with talking therapies through the NHS @snowfoxglove yesterday's session was draining but also helpful. @Ilovedogs1 kielyflower is right. Wheres the evidence that you're not good enough? X

@Jk24 thank you. My irrational brain doesn't do logic unfortunately.

Various people tell me I need to build my self confidence. I'm sure that's true for most of us on this thread. But how do you do that?

@Ilovedogs1 I'll let you know when I figure it out 😂one thing I can tell you though... I'm a stranger on the Internet and you helped me. So that automatically tells me you're a good person. Please believe in yourself x