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Original poster

Dumped by boyfriend after he invited me to spend Easter holiday with him at his parents’s house

236 replies

lovewarandroses · 09/04/2023 06:13

Hey guys I was dumped yesterday by my boyfriend that I have been since January. Honestly he and I have been together since January and everything was going well until yesterday. So he invited me to go to his parents house for Easter holidays and I did ( his parents are not around they are in Spain ) so it was just me and him . I got to his parents house on Friday morning and we had a really good day and we became intimate in the evening and it was really good. We were intimate again yesterday morning but about 3 hours after he just switched on me quickly ( he started saying that we were moving too fast and he said he would like to take me to the train station so that I can go back to London) his parents lives in Kent. I was quite devastated and hurt to be honest as I had put so much effort in this relationship and not only that I was excited to spend Easter holiday with him ( we had so many things planned ahead) now I feel hurt, confused, devastated and upset at the same time. I feel like I have been treated unkindly ( he said he realised that we were just different and that me and him were not going to work in the long run) he was just all over me a few minutes before saying this. The whole thing was so bizarre and strange to me, how do I move forward from this ? ( why can’t I just find someone to like me for me, my self esteem has been hit by this) I really liked this guy so this is very difficult for me to process… I just feel like crying …. When i got home he called and messaged me apologising to me for hurting me and ruining my Easter holiday but unfortunately I still feel very hurt and I do miss him terribly ….

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 09/04/2023 06:28

That’s really hurtful and I’d be feeling the same as you. Funny how he was fine to have sex with you minutes before and then suddenly decided he had changed his mind. Very strange he would take you there and then back track like that. I’ve given up trying to work out now mens minds work. I’d guess there’s another woman on the scene as there usually is when men change their mind like this

amiold · 09/04/2023 06:33

Do his parents live in Kent or Spain? Is this real it doesn't make sense

Lifeispassingby · 09/04/2023 06:38

amiold · 09/04/2023 06:33

Do his parents live in Kent or Spain? Is this real it doesn't make sense

They live in Kent but are in Spain so OP and partner there alone

Ladybug14 · 09/04/2023 06:38

I'd be thinking he has a date lined up with someone else, so he got you out of the way

You've only been seeing him for 3 and a half months, so it's good that you've discovered he's a twat so quickly

Please block him and move on. Dont demean yourself by seeing him again

Queenofheart · 09/04/2023 06:39

amiold · 09/04/2023 06:33

Do his parents live in Kent or Spain? Is this real it doesn't make sense

They live in Kent and are on holiday in Spain. It makes total sense 👍🏻

Oopsiedaisyy · 09/04/2023 06:39

Had you slept together before this weekend?

Lifeispassingby · 09/04/2023 06:40

This is a strange turnaround but you’ve not been together long so perhaps he isn’t feeling something for you like you are for him. Or perhaps he is starting to but is scared of those feelings. Men can be complicated but you set the bar and decide how you want to be treated x

Queenofheart · 09/04/2023 06:40

Ladybug14 · 09/04/2023 06:38

I'd be thinking he has a date lined up with someone else, so he got you out of the way

You've only been seeing him for 3 and a half months, so it's good that you've discovered he's a twat so quickly

Please block him and move on. Dont demean yourself by seeing him again

100% this OP. Sorry this has happened but better you know now.

Dyslexicwonder · 09/04/2023 06:43

Ladybug14 · 09/04/2023 06:38

I'd be thinking he has a date lined up with someone else, so he got you out of the way

You've only been seeing him for 3 and a half months, so it's good that you've discovered he's a twat so quickly

Please block him and move on. Dont demean yourself by seeing him again

This sadly

KatherineJaneway · 09/04/2023 07:05

Was this the first time you were intimate?

Butteralwaysmeltsaway · 09/04/2023 07:06

amiold · 09/04/2023 06:33

Do his parents live in Kent or Spain? Is this real it doesn't make sense

Perfectly clear, if you take the time to read it before commenting negatively.

thegrain · 09/04/2023 07:08

I mean yes that's a bit harsh. But good to find out sooner I guess than spend the whole trip together then get home to be dumped

sorrynotathome · 09/04/2023 07:09

Absolutely he has fingers in more than one pie. So sorry, OP. Block and move on.

amiold · 09/04/2023 07:10

Apologies op, I did read it twice too 🤦🏼‍♀️ 🥱

He is being unreasonable. Sounds like he's trying to see how much he can push you, if you tolerate this hot and cold now it will get worse. Sleeping with you one minute and then sending you home 🤯 You will meet someone worthy of your time who doesn't play games, hold out for them

UseOfWeapons · 09/04/2023 07:16

amiold · 09/04/2023 07:10

Apologies op, I did read it twice too 🤦🏼‍♀️ 🥱

He is being unreasonable. Sounds like he's trying to see how much he can push you, if you tolerate this hot and cold now it will get worse. Sleeping with you one minute and then sending you home 🤯 You will meet someone worthy of your time who doesn't play games, hold out for them

I agree with this.
I perhaps would also send him a message saying, ‘ Fine, you were shit in bed anyway! Bye!’ But I’m a bit of a cow.

LadyWithLapdog · 09/04/2023 07:18

It sounds like an out of the blue decision, so it’ll take a while to get over it. Allow yourself the time needed before starting dating again. I’m sorry this will knock your confidence but, as others said, at least you found out early that he’s a nob, so you won’t waste your time with him.

Ladybug14 · 09/04/2023 07:21

Please don't message him telling him he was shit in bed

Silence is the best reaction in situations like this. And creating a happy life for yourself

Hes treated you with no respect and no kindness. Block, move on. Don't allow him to live in your head. Enjoy your life without this idiot in it.

MaireadMcSweeney · 09/04/2023 07:22

I doubt he had another date planned, otherwise inviting you for the weekend was a stupid idea. I guess he just decided he wasn't feeling it after spending a day and night together. Have you spend a longer period of time together before? Maybe 4 days suddenly felt like too long. To be honest 3 months in to a relationship I wouldn't plan to spend that long with a boyfriend as it's a bit much and puts the pressure on. He might have freaked out a bit. Whatever the reason it's not your fault and it's really unkind of him to set you up this way then break up with you.

Alphavilla · 09/04/2023 07:36

He maybe was just after the conquest. Once he got sex the chase was over. You are dumped and he's on to the next one. I bet he's just a player. Sorry you have been treated this way.

qqq82 · 09/04/2023 07:36

He might not have had another date lined up but maybe he heard from an old flame while there

It's very odd behaviour op and if you truly did nothing to upset him then he's either had another offer or he's batshit

Either way you're well rid and you've dodged a bullet

TomatoSandwiches · 09/04/2023 07:39

Whatever the reason, he is a shitbag, block him and treat yourself kindly, do not text him or show him any kind of emotion because he will likely think he can rope you back when he wants to, you deserve better than that.

WarmSpring · 09/04/2023 07:57

This reminds me of being a teenager / early 20s. It's just a trope, not personal. When you get older you'll recognise this in advance and avoid them.

WarmSpring · 09/04/2023 08:02

WarmSpring · 09/04/2023 07:57

This reminds me of being a teenager / early 20s. It's just a trope, not personal. When you get older you'll recognise this in advance and avoid them.

If it makes you feel better, my shitty ex who treated me like this as a teenager and in my 20s has spent most of my 30s chasing after me relentlessly.

I stopped caring about him more than a decade ago. The tables turned.

Kittytitt · 09/04/2023 08:07

I would think he's suddenly had a reason to need you gone. And it's not a reason he can tell you, like another girlfriend.

I was living with my boyfriend of 4 years (engaged). My birthday party planned for Saturday, Friday he told me it was over and I needed to move out immediately as he couldn't bear being with me. Sat afternoon a girl who he fancied, had not told he had a girlfriend and who needed a place to stay moved in. She was wiser than me and realised he was a toad and after a week left the house, he tried to come back for years!

Honestly whatever the reason he has treated you badly so don't let him crawl back, have more self respect and leave him in the dirt where he belongs.

Rollerpiggy · 09/04/2023 08:09

I had this exact scenario but we went abroad to see his mother. It turned out that when she saw us together, it made her jealous and she persuaded him to dump me so he could find someone else. I was devastated as it came out of the blue after a great weekend. I went on to get married and have kids years later, and he is still single and hasn’t dated since. Some mothers just don’t want their sons to be happy and move on, they would rather they stayed tied to the apron strings even if that means they are lonely - and my ex told me he was really lonely before me and after (he contacted me on Fb years later). Really sad really but I swerved a bullet and I’m happy as can be now. Trust me OP, this is for the best!!!!