Confused by police

[Gettingbythanks]

I had a situation where the police spoke to me. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was because of where I was, and it being very early morning. They said they were concerned for me, and it was odd for me to be there. Maybe it was, I was frightened at home though, there were people banging on the window waking me up. I wish I hadn’t given my real name, they wanted to take me to a&e to speak to someone. I managed to explain things a bit, I don’t want that, because people are so patronising. They drove me home when I promised I would speak to my GP this week. Will they speak to my GP about me?

How are you this morning? Did you manage to get some sleep?

You asked if you are sounding rational. Is this something you have had before? What helped last time and can you reach out to this support again? I am worried that you are spiralling downwards and you do need to get some help.

There are some bad people in the world but there are far and away more good people, who will help you.

I did get some heavy sleep, am very stiff though. It helps being somewhere I know nobody can get to. I’m on medication because I had a breakdown, years ago now, they thought I wasn’t thinking clearly. I get that it seems like that now, but it’s understandable to be frightened of somebody who’s hurt you before surely? I phoned the surgery this morning, by the time I got through they had no appointments left. It’s a relief, I don’t know what I would say tbh.

I have taken notice of what everyone has replied. I don’t have any support, people get caught up in their own lives. I have phoned the CMHT too, I don’t think they’re going to get back to me now. I didn’t imagine being beaten senseless and the broken bones, there are police and medical records of what happened. If he broke in, can I use a weapon to defend myself? I have the radio on low, I don’t like the idea of not being able to hear if anyones breaking in though. The closer it gets to being dark, the more agitated I feel.

@Gettingbythanks I will echo everybody else and say you need to speak to someone, I see you've got in touch with the mental health team which is great.

You must feel very scared, I'm sorry you keep feeling that way. Can I ask is the man that hurt you allowed to be anywhere around you? Could you call the police ?

He’s not supposed to come near me, no. I spoke to the police, they didn’t think it was likely to be him, they were kind about it, but it was obvious they think I’m mental. So maybe I’m just mental.

OP - fear is one of the worst feelings we can have. I’m scared every time I go to my nearest large town after I was assaulted by a hospital doctor. I’m half thinking “this is daft he won’t be there etc” to thinking “but I did meet him out and about once, why not again “.
And my situation didn’t involve me being physically harmed.
I can only imagine how you feel.
However, I wonder if there are some things you can do.
Can you put up a ring doorbell so you would see anyone trying to come in as well as having video evidence if they did?
Depending on where you live, floodlights that are motion activated?
Perhaps it is worth talking to your Gp? I’m sure they would be sympathetic given your past experiences.
You shouldn’t need to sleep in an attic to feel safe. You will get support if you need it. Keep chatting to us

I can’t afford cameras for each window, where I live is a weird layout. Motion sensor lights maybe. There’s already been 2 thumps on the front window, I feel sick, I can’t move now. I don’t know why I posted here, I’m sorry, it’s probably not real, everyone seems to think it’s me being mental, so I will sit here like a mental person, with the door blocked off and a knife in case anyone gets in! I don’t no it’s him, it could be anyone or no one.

Thing is it's entirely possible you're "being mental", and also entirely possible that there's really a person banging on your windows, and none of us here know you or your situation well enough to be able to tell.

But as someone who's been mental, I don't judge someone any worse if the thing they're terrified of is something other people can't perceive. You're still fucking terrified, and deserve all the help that would be useful to you. Whether there is a person physically there or not, you deserve some psychological help with managing the terrifying situation you're in. If, in addition, there is a person physically threatening you who others can perceive, you deserve help dealing with that too.

Oh sweetheart. I think for tonight it might be best if you actually get yourself to A&E. You will be safe there and they will help you feel better.

I know it must be scary. No one can say if theirs someone there or if your brain is playing nasty tricks on you especially with your previous history.

Do you have anyone in real life who can come to you?

Sounds like you have post traumatic stress as a result of what you have been through. Have you ever had any treatment for that? Can you do what I suggested and record the banging the next time it happens then listen back after to see if its on the recording or not.

There is no one close by, the person who’s attic I was in is on holiday, I have a key and I know they wouldn’t mind me being there, although they’d be confused. I can pull the ladder up. I don’t use language like ‘being mental’ about other people sorry if I offended, I get annoyed with my head. Waiting on a callback from 111, not sure if that was the right thing to do now. Tried recording on my phone, there’s a storm overhead, so thunder rumbling, I don’t know what’s what anymore. I can’t deal with this fear.

Why would the man who hurt you years ago come back now? That's really very unlikely.

Op, please ring the GP again in the morning. They will be able to help.

If it was my post that made you worried about offending, there's no need to be concerned at all, I call myself mental quite a lot I've been in online communities where we all referred to ourselves as "mental" or "mentals" because it breaks down barriers of who's got what exact diagnosis, while emphasising our shared experience (of serious mental illness, and of prejudice from others), and is an insider term that mental health workers definitely aren't allowed to use about us But I know some people don't like it.

I just didn't want to apply it to your situation without using quote marks, to try and show that I wasn't applying them to you myself — I thought if I just used the word straight out without quote marks, it might come across as a judgement or a criticism, which I didn't want to make you feel.

I've no idea whether you're mental or not, and it makes no difference to what I think of you, but what I do know is you're really scared, that what you're going through would make anybody scared, and you shouldn't have to go through that without support.

I hope you hear back from 111 soon.

Absolutely 111 was a very good call, have they given you a time frame of when they will call back?

They called back at about 2.30 am, I was half dozing. The lady thought I should go to a&e, she was going to send an ambulance as I don’t drive, I didn’t want to waste an ambulance though. She said to take some extra of the meds I’m on and stay here, and she’d make sure my GP knows the situation today. I feel awful, like my brain’s blown a fuse or something.

How are you OP?

Thanks for asking. I’m very tired today, this last week has taken a bit of a toll. My GP contacted the Home Treatment Team from the hospital, and they came around to speak to me earlier. They know it’s when it’s dark that I start to get frightened, I couldn’t get the words out to go in to detail because I realise people think it’s ridiculous. They asked about the attack, and I went to pieces a bit so they changed the subject. I’m tempted to go back to the attic tonight, at least there it’s only spiders to contend with.

For what it's worth I don't think it's ridiculous — it sounds terrifying to me. I hope they can help you in some way. And yes, you must be exhausted — I hope you get some good sleep tonight, spiders notwithstanding

i really feel for you. Keep chatting to us

Thank you for saying you don’t think it’s ridiculous. Part of me thinks he wouldn’t be able to find me now, then the thumping starts and I feel him near me, I can’t explain it properly, he’s evil. I get the sharp reminder pain in my ribs.The other night something fell on me in the night, I swear my heart nearly stopped, the attic is Spiderville Central! The thumping started and I freaked and phoned the psych team, and garbled God only knows what at them, I’ve agreed to stay here tonight. I’ve moved a bookcase in front of the living room door, so he’s not getting through that way. I’ve got my phone recording by my window, it doesn’t record for very long though, am waiting for meds to kick in so my heart rate comes down.

Fingers crossed the meds help — the physical symptoms of anxiety and fear are just horrible aren't they

It sounds incredibly scary for you. Are the home treatment team going to be in touch again?
Do you have anyone that might stay with you for a few nights?

Bless you op. Bloody well done for engaging in help. Are the team going to come back tomorrow? Whats the plan going forward?

I think deep down you know you have become unwell again, and thats a scary and often lonely and confusing place to be but there is help and you seem amazingly brave you will get that help with some support.

I don’t feel brave, I’m scared of my own shadow. The people that came today are intensive support for people at risk of needing hospital admission, to help them get back on track. So they were clear they think I’m a bit unwell. Everyone seems to think so. I know I will collapse from exhaustion if I can’t get the fear under control, but have to try to protect myself at the same time, in case it is him. I don’t know. He’s dangerous. I was trying to answer the question, yes, they are coming again tomorrow. Said they would phone from outside so they’re not knocking.

Good morning.

You sound exhausted! And no wonder. It doesn’t really matter to you if the sounds are real or no, they feel real to you and the fear it produces is very real.

Someone upthread mentioned PTSD, the effects of that are incredibly real to the person experiencing them, and they can be overwhelming.

Reach out to the home support team, and if you do need to go into hospital for a stay then you know he won’t be able to get you in there and you can properly rest. Exhaustion makes everything worse and you are on high alert at the moment, so even when you do sleep your body isn’t fully resting.

As you find it hard to talk about your experience could you should the team your comments on this thread, then you don’t have to replay the feelings again?

You do sound brave, you sound like someone going through a very hard time but by reaching out you are being brave.