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Original poster

Confused by police

136 replies

Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 18:57

I had a situation where the police spoke to me. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was because of where I was, and it being very early morning. They said they were concerned for me, and it was odd for me to be there. Maybe it was, I was frightened at home though, there were people banging on the window waking me up. I wish I hadn’t given my real name, they wanted to take me to a&e to speak to someone. I managed to explain things a bit, I don’t want that, because people are so patronising. They drove me home when I promised I would speak to my GP this week. Will they speak to my GP about me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 18:58

I shouldn’t have promised.

OP posts:
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 04/09/2022 19:04

They were just making sure you were safe, because to them the situation was indistinguishable from someone who was out there because they weren't mentally very well. I doubt they said anything to your GP, they just wanted to know that you intended to seek out any help you might need.

Is there a chance that it's a good idea for you to see the GP anyway?

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 04/09/2022 19:14

I've actually had a similar thing happen — out for a middle-of-the-night wander on my own, police pull over to check everything's okay and ask if I need a ride home. I think it's a fairly usual thing for police to do and I didn't feel like they were suspicious of me or planning to follow up on it, though to be fair I was a youngish white woman walking round a village, and they might have made different assumptions in other circumstances.

Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 19:31

I’ve given myself more people to be worried about. I don’t want anyone coming to my home, I just want them all to leave me be! I don’t know where to go, I want to hide, but even if I went to a hotel, I’d need ID, so they could track me down there. I think the GP would be confused if I phoned, unless the police contact them and they come here? I don’t know where to go to hide.

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ClumpingBambooIsALie · 04/09/2022 19:41

The GP isn't going to come to your home based on the fact you went for a walk at night.

You sound like you're feeling generally worried and maybe a bit suspicious in general at the moment — have you had any help in the past for that kind of thing?

Redglitter · 04/09/2022 19:43

The Police aren't going to contact your GP. As far as they're.concerned their involvement with you is over. They've suggested you speak to your GP whether you do is up to you. They won't be following it up

Annonnimoouse42 · 04/09/2022 19:55

who was banging on your windows?

Spidey66 · 04/09/2022 20:04

I'm a community mental health nurse.

Sometimes in those circumstances, the police send us what is known as a Merlin alert. It doesn't mean you're in any trouble, just that they were concerned for your welfare. We then use our judgement on whether to follow it up, which may mean a phone call or just letting your GP know. It really depends on a) whether you're known to us and b) the seriousness of the situation. It really isnt anything to worry about.

Magnanimouse · 04/09/2022 20:06

The police meet someone who is vulnerable. They are vulnerable because you are out alone, at night, after people have been banging on your windows. People bang on windows; people imagine people banging on windows even though it seems real to them - they have no idea which is true. They are concerned that your response to this was to leave your home, which may put you at more risk from the people banging on your windows, or other random strangers. You may not, in the middle of the night, have been dressed appropriately(?), may not have given an explanation which they understood.

They have reasonable grounds to believe you need help, so they persuade you to see your GP. They don't think that you are a risk to yourself or others, or else they would have acted there and then. They won't be coming to trace you, and nor will they have contacted your GP. It's over.

But - in that moment - they saw someone who they believed needed some help. Not everyone who needs help knows they need help. But not everyone who the police thinks needs help actually does. Your GP is the person to talk to. Talk them through that evening, honestly, and answer the questions they ask. They may decide to offer some support. The worst that is going to happen is that you are going to waste 10 minutes of your GP's time explaining that the police told you to come and everything's ok thanks. Just go for it!

Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 20:24

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 04/09/2022 19:41

The GP isn't going to come to your home based on the fact you went for a walk at night.

You sound like you're feeling generally worried and maybe a bit suspicious in general at the moment — have you had any help in the past for that kind of thing?

Thank you for taking the time to reply, each of you. I’m worried yes, I’m suspicious because I have to be, some people take pleasure in hurting others, and I’m not going through that again. If they looked my name up online, they wouldn’t find me, I’m careful, only the electoral register I think. The police have come here before, a few years ago, it was humiliating. I barricaded myself in a room, which wasn’t the most rational thing I admit but it’s not illegal! I need to come up with somewhere I can go tonight, I can’t stay here this scared tonight.

OP posts:
Magnanimouse · 04/09/2022 20:25

You need to see your GP about your fears. They can help.

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 04/09/2022 20:26

That sounds really stressful, I'm sorry. I hope you don't end up anywhere unsafe tonight. Can you really not stay at home?

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 04/09/2022 20:28

Some people are bad but most people are good and want to help you. They will want to help and protect you. Is there any chance you could go to a hotel anyway and if they come you could tell them you just need some peace. Who was banging on your windows?

Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 21:20

Someone hurt me badly, a long time ago, I think it’s him thumping the windows. He could’ve tracked me down by the electoral register, doing it to scare me, like to mess with my head. God I’m so tired, I can’t think straight. I need to make a decision for tonight.

OP posts:
Happydays321 · 04/09/2022 21:26

I'm sorry you're scared.
Can you check all your windows and doors are locked them go to bed with a radio or TV on so you don't hear the noise.

WhackingPhoenix · 04/09/2022 21:27

OP, I say this very gently and with genuine concern for you, is there a chance you might need some help? None of what you’re saying sounds like it’s coming from a healthy headspace Flowers

Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 21:46

WhackingPhoenix · 04/09/2022 21:27

OP, I say this very gently and with genuine concern for you, is there a chance you might need some help? None of what you’re saying sounds like it’s coming from a healthy headspace Flowers

Do I seem irrational? I can’t always tell. I have some strong sedatives for when I’m really agitated, I’ve calmed down a bit now. Windows and doors are always locked, I’m scared he’s outside and going to start banging on them though. There is somewhere I’ve thought of, it’s not far. It’s indoors too, so no one will no I’m there, and it’ll be safer for tonight.

OP posts:
WhackingPhoenix · 04/09/2022 21:51

Gettingbythanks · 04/09/2022 21:46

Do I seem irrational? I can’t always tell. I have some strong sedatives for when I’m really agitated, I’ve calmed down a bit now. Windows and doors are always locked, I’m scared he’s outside and going to start banging on them though. There is somewhere I’ve thought of, it’s not far. It’s indoors too, so no one will no I’m there, and it’ll be safer for tonight.

Show quote history

A little bit, my lovely. Recognising that you sometimes feel that way is good though.

Could a friend or family member come to stay with you for tonight? In the long term, are you in a position to get yourself a Ring doorbell for peace of mind? You can set them to mimic large, barking dogs when they detect motion.

Do you have any contact details for your local crisis team as they might be able to help you refocus a bit tonight.

Lochjeda · 04/09/2022 21:52

Op, the next time the windows start being banged could you start recording it on your phone with a video? Then when it stops you can listen back and if you can hear it you know someone is trying to torment you and you have proof to get help from the police. If not then you should go see your gp.

Keep talking here until you feel a bit calmer.

MuthaHubbard · 04/09/2022 21:56

I'm sorry someone hurt you in the past.
We are here to virtually hold your hand, please keep posting. The police will have only viewed you as someone who might need help and nothing more

stillvicarinatutu · 04/09/2022 22:02

I also think you do actually need to speak to your gp .

You asked if you are sounding irrational.
Yes you are.

I'm going to guess the window banging is not someone tracking you down but your heightened paranoia - you're on high alert .
You need to seek medical advice.

Leaving your home to spend the night somewhere else or wandering about isn't safe . Your home is . Lock the windows and doors , put some headphones in and listen to something nice and calming.

Tomorrow- ring your doctor.

To reassure you a little - I'm a police officer - they won't be contacting your gp - they were just concerned for you . They took you home to keep you safe and o the streets at night because you sound quite vulnerable.

What support do you have ?

ShaneTwane · 04/09/2022 22:07

stillvicarinatutu · 04/09/2022 22:02

I also think you do actually need to speak to your gp .

You asked if you are sounding irrational.
Yes you are.

I'm going to guess the window banging is not someone tracking you down but your heightened paranoia - you're on high alert .
You need to seek medical advice.

Leaving your home to spend the night somewhere else or wandering about isn't safe . Your home is . Lock the windows and doors , put some headphones in and listen to something nice and calming.

Tomorrow- ring your doctor.

To reassure you a little - I'm a police officer - they won't be contacting your gp - they were just concerned for you . They took you home to keep you safe and o the streets at night because you sound quite vulnerable.

What support do you have ?

All of this op. It sounds safer to be in your home with the doors locked and your phone next to you. Keep talking to people on here or listen to a podcast to help settle. Its dangerous for you to go out and what sort of place do you mean a hotel or somewhere else?

Please make a call to your gp in the morning as a Matter of urgency, you sound like you might be spiralling and they can help you.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 04/09/2022 22:43

Hi there, OP,

We do hope you're somewhere safe now. As previous posters have said, the police may well be able to help, especially given what you've said about people who you have felt threatened by in the past. Or if not, someone you know and trust would be a good place to go to tonight to be safe until you can talk to a professional who can help in the morning.

As a last option, there are lots of numbers you can call on our webguide here www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide that are always open and always happy to offer support and advice at times like this.

Please do pop back and let us know how you get on.

Flowers
Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 05/09/2022 00:09

I’m safe for tonight, I won’t be bothered here. I’m appreciate your responses, I’m exhausted but I will come back after some sleep

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Original poster
Gettingbythanks · 05/09/2022 00:10

It’s an attic, so no window thumping!

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