Probability of fingering causing pregnancy

[MountainVA]

Please do not shame me, I’m feeling terrible and my mental health is in shambles. Here are the facts before I ask question…..

-40 YO
-2 kids conceived super easy (11 & 13)
-In between birth controls (iud next month)
day 15 of cycle (ovulating according to chart)
-partner and I opted NOT to have intercourse since we knew I am ovulating.

I’m pretty sure some semen was on his fingers when he touched me. we don’t know 100% he says not but I did see him “handle himself a few times” So yes I know yes it’s theoretically a possibility if sperm is near vagina BUT statistically how likely? I’m ready everything from “haha your an idiot it’s impossible” to “that’s how my cousin conceived”.
Im terribly concerned. Loosing sleep and can’t eat. I cannot be pregnant at this time due to mental health concerns and my marriage is failing heading to a divorce. My anxiety is sky high and I’m all over the map from convinced to knowing it’s improbable. Next two weeks will be hell waiting.
Facts that I have come across online.

At 39 my chance of becoming pregnant TRYING is only about 5-6%.
If we had gone as fas as withdrawal (did not just using this as a thought) It’s 4% chance of pregnancy. Adding those two things together gives me odds less than 0, correct?

Going nuts…..

Please help me.

@Isittimeformynapyet there is a Sex topic and I don't think the lurid details of what @MountainVA gets up to with her on/off partner are what AIBU was set up for

<reaches for brain bleach>

This!!!!!
Statistics are meaningless if you are the 4%
Good luck!

Plan B works by preventing ovulation.

Copper coil works by parenting implantation of fertilised egg

Mirena works by suppressing but not eliminating ovulation AND preventing implantation of fertilised egg

bet you are pregnant - with twins

Mate - you're 40 and it's fingering. I really don't think you're preggo.

I really don’t think Mirena is compatible with your beliefs OP.

neither do I think you are likely to be pregnant.

but if you are having an IUD next month you should be using barrier methods/abstaining in any case.

The chances of a woman and her partner in their twenties at the peak of reproductive health who are actively trying have a 25% chance of conceiving in any given month.

A "might" have had a tiny bit of spem on his fingers is not going to get your pregnant. If that worked then a couple who are dealing with a low sperm count wouldnt need fertility assistance. Yes only one is needed but the chances of one getting to the egg at the right time in even the best circumstance is so vanishingly small that thats why Mother Nature made men produce millions per ejaculation!

Breathe out......

Oh and the J17 story? She'd been shagging, she just didnt want to admit it! Same as the two girls at my school who got pregnant without "going all the way".....🙄

All of this.

OP I'm sorry you are feeling so worried. I hope everything improves for you 💐

'lay off the willy' that's given me the best laugh all day 😂 thank you!

The moral to this story is that the lady should always come first and then you don't end up in situations like these.

I'd say your chances of being pregnant are slim to none.

OP, it is almost impossible, unless you and he are the most fertile people in the world.

i do however understand your anxiety and I think some of the more sarcastic comments on here are unhelpful.

surely we are are meant to be a support group for parents, not be mean to each other.

I got into huge trouble for bringing a copy of The Sun into school as it was considered plebeian and “ Disgusting “
All I wanted was to WIN a Pony! Which needed one to buy the paper every day.
The Sun was confiscated.
What moralising teachers we had.
I didn’t win the Pony.

My mum's neighbour Janet got pregnant this way. This knowledge was imported to me on a frequent basis as a teenager. I have no idea if Janet ever knew that we all knew that she and Steve were still virgins when they married even though she was 4 months pregnant.

Thank you so much to the kind women who took me seriously and responded with intelligence and empathy. It’s means more than you know.
I don’t understand why some people are so mean to others… does it make them feel good to bring someone else down or to tears? Or to make fun of them.

thank you for the additional IUD info.

Unless you’re the most fertile woman in history I really doubt this would do the trick. Also the title of this....😧

Been a long time since I’ve heard the term “fingering” 😂😂😂

💕

You clicked on the title 🤷🏻‍♀️
I thought I could come here for support women to women.

No one can say that it's impossible but the chances must be minuscule. Good luck.

Really unhelpful to someone who just told you they are in a mental health crisis

ummmm. Very unlikely. You’ll be fine.

It is very unlikely but not beyond the realms of possibility apparently. Stop torturing yourself and get the morning after pill.

What on earth made you think AIBU was the right forum for a supportive thread?!

I remember sugar magazine telling teens that finger sex and dry rubbing will get you pregnant. I was scared shitless after my first dry hump

It's unlikely that sperm will have survived outside your body.

Are you getting help for your anxiety though? It sounds like that's a more pressing issue. if you can, try not to make the situation worse with bad decisions. Have you got support?