Made an enormous fool of myself

[moochies]

I drank far too much yesterday.

I'm so sad and embarrassed. DH is furious with me and sad.

I think I ruined Christmas. I feel so sad and empty and disgusting. I honestly contemplated getting up this morning and taking every pill in the house to just end it all.

@moochies

I've started a day 1 thread.

Well done to you @moochies!

Well done, OP.

Good luck moochies and teaandtoast. I was the same, cut out alcohol about eight years ago and it was the best thing I've done. Be kind to yourself while you're feeling rough, you'll feel much better tomorrow.

I'm so grateful to everyone that has been kind to me today.

DH and I have had some long talks and hugs.

My new app is now counting my 1st day.

The behaviour when drinking is not honestly not a big thing. People who love you will not care about that only about you. Try not to feel bad it only makes anxiety worse.(I know it's easier said than done) are you doing anything for mental health? Some things that work for me -
CBT
Mindfulness
Yoga
Walking
Cutting out alcohol/caffeine when anxiety is up
EFT
Positive affirmations
Hypnotherapy

I hope that helps stay strong and know that bad feelings come and go it won't always feel this bad. Stay safe and if you are feeling really low tell someone you trust.

I fell asleep at a wedding, facedown on the table. I was drinking so much so fast because I was so anxious. I didn't drink for a year after that! When I drink now (very rare) I give myself a limit of 6 drinks! Drinking at home is a no-no as it's so much harder to control measures and everything else. To be honest I was so sickened by the fear I just stopped! You'll be fine though okay. It feels much worse just now than it actually is. x

Op, you need to stop mixing alcohol with venlafsxine, I'm on ven too and I've had to give up the drink, the meds won't work with drink and make things worse

Thanks for all the support yesterday.

I'm feeling much more positive today. Cooked a fry up and DH and I are about to go for a walk at the beach.

Going on the This Naked Mind FB group was an eye opener, yesterday there were dozens of people in exactly the same place as me, feeling depressed, suicidal, disgusted with themselves.