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Original poster

Made an enormous fool of myself

183 replies

moochies · 26/12/2021 10:54

I drank far too much yesterday.

I'm so sad and embarrassed. DH is furious with me and sad.

I think I ruined Christmas. I feel so sad and empty and disgusting. I honestly contemplated getting up this morning and taking every pill in the house to just end it all.

OP posts:
LibbyL92 · 26/12/2021 11:58

I used to do this ALL the time.

It got so bad the the anxiety was severely harming me.

When I now drink I make sure I drink Malibu and Diet Coke as I know I’m fine on that.

The second I have Prosecco or vodka I’m at a point of no return. I then black out and spend the next week with severe anxiety and paranoia.

However, it’s the hangover talking. 9 times out of 10 people (especially family and friends) really don’t tend to take much notice. I can deffo speak for myself and others!

Valhalla17 · 26/12/2021 11:59

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way.

duvetdayforeveryone · 26/12/2021 11:59

@moochies

I absolutely need to stop drinking forever.

I feel completely suicidal today, and it's just not worth it. I'm so sad.

You need to be kind to yourself and take it very easy today. Watching TV comedies or a funny film :)
HacerSonarSusPasos · 26/12/2021 12:00

@Valhalla17

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way.
How do we know that he didn't?
Prokupatuscrakedatus · 26/12/2021 12:01

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way

That is the advise we should give to all the women coming on here complaining about their male partners / husbands getting drunk on special days.

Wineandroses3 · 26/12/2021 12:01

Been there done that! Know exactly how you feel, I felt so low the next day, really low, but I got over it and I’ve never made a fool of myself again. I think I that time I was really unhappy in my life and that’s why I drunk too much. But pls stop being so harsh on yourself! It’s not the end of the world I am pretty sure most ppl have been there! Treat yourself like you would a good friend, let yourself off, give yourself a break it’s not a crime. Ignore your partner if he’s being a ln arse and just look after you, you are important! X

SueSaid · 26/12/2021 12:02

@Valhalla17

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way.
He probably did and she probably ignored him.

Intervening in a helpful way with a binge drinker is impossible.

Op I hope you can work through your anxiety and make amends. Stop feeling like a victim though and use this a starting point to change Flowers.

Clarice99 · 26/12/2021 12:03

Some medications and alcohol do not mix well at all. Alcohol is a depressant and because you are on medication for mental ill health, it's not advisable to drink alcohol as this will make you feel much worse as evidenced with how you're feeling today.

Nothing you've posted sounds horrendously embarrassing so I'm not sure why your husband is making a mountain out of a molehill over this. However, while you may only drink excessively 3-4 times per year, perhaps it's time to knock alcohol on the head altogether, particularly while you're on medication for depression and anxiety.

OP, draw a line under yesterday. It really wasn't that bad. Be kind to yourself and have a nice, gentle day Flowers

Valhalla17 · 26/12/2021 12:03

@HacerSonarSusPasos well it hasn't been mentioned thus far. I can only go on what's here in the thread.....

Jubilate · 26/12/2021 12:05

I'd say your mood is the alcohol effect on your underlying depression and anxiety.

I would have similar feelings to you after drinking. It became so bad that I couldn't even have a couple of glasses of wine with a friend without feeling horrendous the next day - psychologically.

Today, have a bath, painkillers, a nap, decent food and maybe a walk. Tomorrow is a new day and then you can start to think about what your relationship with alcohol looks like going forward.

Try not to panic about how you are feeling right now. It will pass.

Kshhuxnxk · 26/12/2021 12:05

If you go overboard with alcohol then you need to stop. I'm the same hence why I rarely drink and I know the warning signs. Just send everyone a little message saying something like oops sorry about yesterday didn't realise the alcohol strength. Fresh start today out for a decent walk and fresh air and give yourself a purpose.

JoyOrbison · 26/12/2021 12:06

"Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way."

In fairness, if this advice was posted to a woman in mumsnet complaining (as often is the cass= that her dh is pissed and spoiling the day, posters would be up in arms about it. Whilst having someone try to help, ultimately a person's drinking is their decision and down to them to moderate.

Op, please don't do anything silly, chat to your dh to break the atmosphere if you feel there is one, tuck yourself to get over the hangover and try to feel less anxious, later on to. E for a chat with dh about your meds not working, your drinking, and your plan of action for 2022 to help yourself.

Good luck Flowers

Valhalla17 · 26/12/2021 12:07

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

"That is the advise we should give to all the women coming on here complaining about their male partners / husbands getting drunk on special days."

A person's sex isn't relevant. If you are somebody's partner, family member or friend the very first step is telling someone they are getting a bit OTT on the drink and should calm it down, have a glass of water to hydrate themselves. If you care about someone that's pretty obvious Hmm

Clearly if it happens every week or they respond with abuse then then the advice would be rather different....

Andouillette · 26/12/2021 12:09

My first post on here. Moochies, I recommend you stop drinking. I say this not to be mimsy or pious but because it's a decision I had to make myself many years ago and I have never regretted it one bit. Some of us just cannot do moderation at all. Probably helps (!) that DH is a recovering alcoholic (26 years sober) and that none of the adult DDs are interested in booze. We are not a dry household, there is alcohol available if a visitor wants it and I use it in cooking but I cannot adequately express how much simpler and more pleasant life is when we are not actually necking the stuff!
Please be kind to yourself, you truly haven't done anything irreparable. Maybe promise yourself not to do it again and then just get on with it, quietly and without fanfare. It's easier that way so you don't have to deal with the expectations of others and the feeling that they are watching you, waiting for a slip. Best of luck to you, the future can be a much nicer, kinder place.

drawacircleroundit · 26/12/2021 12:10

Venlafaxine should work its magic (not sure why it's not), and diazepam should stop you overthinking this tiny bubble of time - which is all it is. I think you might have drunk to cope with the inhibitions and social fear - it's really common and I don't think indicates an alcohol problem unless it starts to damage your everyday (not just today - today is a one-off). You need to ride this out with a confident, "Can anyone remember what I did last night, because I can't" and a "Please belay any promises I might have made last night" etc etc. Share your dismay publicly with head-in-hands charm and self-effacing disbelief - you will be liked for it.

THisbackwithavengeance · 26/12/2021 12:12

@moochies

Talking complete nonsense, slurring, stumbling, half falling asleep in front of guests.
Getting a bit drunk and getting happy and a bit chatty/giggly/lairy is one thing.

Getting so pissed that you have lost control of yourself and your motor functions is another.

A lot of people on this thread have minimalised what happened. If you regularly get pissed like this, maybe this is a wake up call to seek help.

You say you drink to forget yourself, OP. I would say you have a drinking problem and you need to access professional help.

backonceagain2 · 26/12/2021 12:12

It's 'beer fear'. There have been lots of threads on here about how you can wake up after a night drinking witn severe anxiety and a kind of come down. It will pass.

UserBot · 26/12/2021 12:14

Look in to Self-Compassion as a practice. You can absolutely take responsibility for your own choices in the future while absolutely being kind to yourself.

I have just ordered Kristen Neff Phd's work book about the practice of self-compassion. I've listened to one of her books (the second) on audible and I enjoyed it, but I think this will be a deeper dive in to the hard work. Questions and answers and a lot of reflection.

I am looking forward to it. I have a history of being very hard on myself. my critical inner voice got in there before any other external voice could have.

peridito · 26/12/2021 12:15

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way

Maybe he did and was unsuccessful,maybe he didn't - still the right way to go IMO .

doitwithlove · 26/12/2021 12:15

We have ALL made fools of ourselves, it was Christmas day & the mixing of alcohol. Apologise to whoever you need to & move forward.

Nocutenamesleft · 26/12/2021 12:16

H gosh. We’ve all done that

Friend of mine got really drunk. Nearly fell out a window! Her DH didn’t talk to her for days.

But she never ever drank again. So it never happened again. We’ve all embarrassed ourselves with drink before I’m sure.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 26/12/2021 12:17

@peridito

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way

Maybe he did and was unsuccessful,maybe he didn't - still the right way to go IMO .

It's happened before and i'm sure he'd had talked to her the first few times it has happened. You can't expect someone's partner to play babysitter. They are both adults and responsible for their choices.
Luredbyapomegranate · 26/12/2021 12:17

@FionnulaTheCooler

Its the hangover talking. Apologise to DH and anyone else you upset and make sure you don't do it again, it will soon blow over, most of us have drunk too much and made a bit of a tit of ourselves at some point and the pressure for everything to be "perfect" on Christmas day makes it seem worse than it probably was.
This exactly.

You H is bound to be annoyed, but after you’ve apologised draw your own clean slate.

This is binge drinking so you also need to get help with it.

herecomesthsun · 26/12/2021 12:19

I have read all your posts OP (though not the full thread).

Don't beat yourself up about it.

If you are drinking a lot every day, and have done for a long time, stopping completely all at once has some risks.

You can however safely cut down.

New Year isn't a bad time to start Smile

NHS advice here www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/

You could call your GP when they're open and sk for advice. even if you get a callback on the phone, that could be really helpful to signpost you for support.

If your partner would help and support you, that will be really important.

This could be a turning point!

Show him some of this maybe?

peridito · 26/12/2021 12:22

i'm sure he'd had talked to her the first few times it has happened
none of us know this for sure

You can't expect someone's partner to play babysitter - actually I think you can expect your partner to be loving and to look out for you. Especially when they know you suffer from anxiety and depression and they are in a social situation where it's highly likely that the anxiety is heightened .