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Original poster

Made an enormous fool of myself

183 replies

moochies · 26/12/2021 10:54

I drank far too much yesterday.

I'm so sad and embarrassed. DH is furious with me and sad.

I think I ruined Christmas. I feel so sad and empty and disgusting. I honestly contemplated getting up this morning and taking every pill in the house to just end it all.

OP posts:
Minikievs · 26/12/2021 12:23

I am nit minimising how you feel at all when I say this. But you've got the beer fears. You will feel much better tomorrow after a good nights sleep tonight.
Nothing you did sounds horrendous. You didn't argue, start a fight, insult anyone.
You just got a bit drunk and sleepy.
I promise noone will be thinking any worse of you. Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, be kind to yourself Thanks

grapewine · 26/12/2021 12:24

It's not her husband's job to nanny her around alcohol. OP, don't harm yourself but do seek help for your drinking problem.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 26/12/2021 12:26

@peridito

i'm sure he'd had talked to her the first few times it has happened none of us know this for sure

You can't expect someone's partner to play babysitter - actually I think you can expect your partner to be loving and to look out for you. Especially when they know you suffer from anxiety and depression and they are in a social situation where it's highly likely that the anxiety is heightened .

Yet if her partner told her to stop drinking something tells me you'd all be screaming that he's controlling and overstepping his boundaries!

This just smacks of double standards to me.

StellaGibson118 · 26/12/2021 12:26

Keep talking to us through it. Don't sit alone with those thoughts. We will listen. There'll always be some harsh responses because that's just how MN is but there are plenty of us who will listen and understand.

AlternativePerspective · 26/12/2021 12:26

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way. I can just imagine the responses if a poster posted here “I went out to ILs and had a few drinks. My DH came over to have a word and gave me a glass of water and said I needed to stop.” I can imagine the responses being along the lines of: “how dare he decide for you what you should and shouldn’t drink. I bet you hadn’t even had that much,” and so it would continue.

Interestingly I’ve just seen another thread on here from a woman whose DH does this every Christmas, and she’s getting nothing but sympathy and being told that he is an arse. And yet people are minimising the OP’s drinking on here, “it was nothing; we’ve all done it; don’t worry.”

While the OP absolutely shouldn’t be feeling suicidal over this, getting drunk to the point of falling around isn’t ok and if the OP can only drink if she gets smashed then she needs to stop. Completely.

MichelleScarn · 26/12/2021 12:26

peridito

Your dh should have noticed, had a quiet word at the time and got you some water....no point him being furious after the event. He should have intervened in a helpful way
Is that not total against the 3CS of Al anon in supporting family members, you didn't 'cause it, cant control it, cant cure it' ?

Fetchthevet · 26/12/2021 12:26

Sounds like a normal Christmas to me OP! Honestly, I think you're being very hard on yourself. I make more of a fool of myself most days, and I don't even drink. Hope you feel better soon.

janicewheeler · 26/12/2021 12:29

Where I live we call it 'the horrors'
It's just anxiety from the alcohol.
I very very rarely drink and I went out last weekend, had about 6 glasses of Prosecco and the next day felt so shit and guilty and I hadn't even done anything wrong ! It was complete anxiety making me feel that way.

Don't beat yourself up. We've all got in some kind of state before, felt awful for a day or two then start to feel better again. And usually do it again at some point !!

Original poster
moochies · 26/12/2021 12:32

Thanks all. I'm going to call the GP next week.

OP posts:
oldandscunnered · 26/12/2021 12:32

I've been there - it's awful but you didn't actually do anything horrendous did you? And you won't have been the only one drinking. Other people won't see it half as badly as you do, it happens and it has happened to us all. Did you have parents who had issues with alcohol? When I drink too much I feel suicidal but wonder if it was my upbringing that makes me like this. I just feel so ashamed. You didn't murder anyway or sleep with someone else's husband. This feeling will fade and you will wonder why you felt like this. Take care of yourself.

YouMadeABear · 26/12/2021 12:32

Oh OP. I totally get the shame spiral and The Fear. It ruined my Christmas several years ago as I was so mortified.I barely drink anymore as I just don't react well to it. It doesn't sound as though you have done anything particularly shameful. It is a depressant, especially if you're already emotionally vulnerable. Take today to eat well and drink lots of water to let your body recover. If you still feel bad tomorrow then think about Skipping alcohol from now on. Empower yourself.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/12/2021 12:34

I don't drink anymore. Partly due to physical health issues that alcohol exacerbates (reflux) but also, if I am completely honest, because too often I turned into a bit of a tit when I drank too much. You are not alone there are plenty of us who have woken up the next day thinking "oh crap". I realised that I just don't get on well with alcohol - I would have horrific hangovers and I didn't really enjoy being tipsy.
Treat this as a turning point. People who love you will respect you learning from this experience and making a positive change. Make sure at the next big event there are some really good alcohol free alternatives - there are lots of good options out there now - alcohol free alternatives to spirits, wine and beer.

So be kind to yourself, recognise that this is something that can be fixed and if your medication isn't helping go back to your GP and see if they can find you a better option.

strawberrymilk7 · 26/12/2021 12:34

You're in the grips of the fear! It is horrible but you just have to get through it. I hope you no longer feel like hurting yourself, that is just the hangover talking.

Apologies to your husband. But I know myself the only thing you can do is to show him with your actions you mean it.

HippyMoon · 26/12/2021 12:34

I was like this - I'd drink three times a year at most and every time it would genuinely be awful and I'd always go overboard. The only thing that helped was never, ever drinking again. Might be something to consider. Sorry you're feeling so awful Flowers

LetsGoThenSanta · 26/12/2021 12:35

Please don't beat yourself up.
Alcohol makes anxiety and low mood 100 times worse. Especially in the days after. Just try to really take it easy on yourself. Just try to chill out, watch a film or something. Try not to to go over and over the events hating yourself. That's just the worst. Try to look after yourself.

Clarice99 · 26/12/2021 12:35

@moochies

Thanks all. I'm going to call the GP next week.
That's a good call @moochies

In the meantime, don't beat yourself up.

You can't change yesterday but you can change your future.

MadeForThis · 26/12/2021 12:37

If your friend had gotten wobbly drunk at your house instead of you, would you think it was reasonable that she was thinking of suicide? Of course not.

You didn't hurt anyone - only yourself.
Please ask for some help to manage your emotions.

If drinking makes you feel like this then you need to stop it.

You didn't do anything wrong, thousands were drunk yesterday. But how you are feeling today needs help. X

Cheesywhine · 26/12/2021 12:37

I have been like this, and I do get this fear and depression if I drink too much (enough to lose memory). People assure me I’m a kind & funny tipsy person, but that doesn’t help the anxiety fear.

I don’t allow myself to get that way anymore, but it’s easier said than done and I do approximately once a year. My depression would last for days.

Perhaps your DH could be kinder, if you genuinely weren’t nasty and didn’t “ruin” anything …. I’m not sure what was said, done etc. Go for a walk in woodlands or open space if you can. Listen to a podcast. Have a bath. It won’t be an easy day - but it will pass.
Write yourself a note now and then if you ever feel yourself spiralling you could refer back to it.

Hand hold, a hug and I hope you get through this with support.

ImInStealthMode · 26/12/2021 12:37

Oh love. I've been there, honestly I have. I had the fear the day after my Christmas do because the last couple of hours were hazy and my colleague had to walk me home but it was fine, everyone had forgotten by the Monday and most people have been there themselves.

Alcohol is a depressant and that's why you're feeling so bad today. You feel a bit embarrassed and disappointed with yourself and the alcohol is magnifying those feelings tenfold.

Make your apologies, have a quiet day, get some fresh air, do some good deeds if you can to reset your mental balance and tomorrow you'll feel so much better x

Iamblossom · 26/12/2021 12:39

@FionnulaTheCooler

Its the hangover talking. Apologise to DH and anyone else you upset and make sure you don't do it again, it will soon blow over, most of us have drunk too much and made a bit of a tit of ourselves at some point and the pressure for everything to be "perfect" on Christmas day makes it seem worse than it probably was.
Exactly this. I promise you will feel better tomorrow. And if there is anyone judging you that hasn't behaved in the same or a similar way I will very surprised.
Doubledoorsontogarden · 26/12/2021 12:42

When I was on anti depressants and drank I was suicidal, luckily managed to sleep rather than do it. It’s your body chemicals all over the place from drinking and medicating.

Apologise to your visitors, say that you hadn’t eaten much or had been under the weather so didn’t realise how drunk you were. I’m sure that no one is really bothered.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/12/2021 12:43

I used to do this, often enough for me to feel bad. Five years completely sober now, feel a lot better, and it's lovely having a clear head the day after a wedding, Christmas, etc. Part of the reason I went OTT was my marriage was in trouble, but it was years before I acknowledged it to myself. Not saying it's your situation @moochies. It's pointles DH going on now. What's done is done. Can you take some rehydration sachets to make you feel better? If you have the medication in your cabinet for rehydration after a stomach bug, that would rehydrate you too. Maybe google for contra indications on your meds. Flowers

lemmein · 26/12/2021 12:45

Ahh OP, I reckon most of us have probably suffered with the hangover anxiety. Like the PP said, it's a depressant so at the very least try to not put too much faith in your feelings this morning. Please try try try to cut those feelings dead, just for today - if you still feel the same tomorrow deal with them but today just put them in the 'not reliable' box in your brain, go for a walk instead, shot some music on - anything to distract yourself.

It doesn't sound like you did anything too 'out there' so I'm slightly concerned by your DHs reaction. Certainly nothing you describe is anything to be 'furious' about. Watch that OP, his feelings are his own, you don't have to absorb them Thanks

statetrooperstacey · 26/12/2021 12:46

It’s the beer fest 👍
At every Xmas gathering ever there has to be at least one person who overdoes it, on this occasion it was you!! In every house there is someone who feels like you do, it’s pretty much traditional😁
I would apologise once and if your DH carries on I’d tell him you got outrageously drunk so no one else had to , taking one for the team so to speak. Then crack on with your day, get out of bed, don’t wallow in self pity, it’s really not that bad. Also don’t forget alcohol is a depressant so yeah , you will feel sorry for yourself!