What would happen if I didn’t collect DS from after school club?

[Confusedandtired21]

Just that really? Due to be collected before 6pm
I feel beyond able to cope with life at the moment. I have Adhd, asd and bipolar. No one can help so that’s that! So if I didn’t collect him what would happen to him. Would children’s services just get involved? I don’t want this for him but I feel like I don’t have much options left. He’s not hard work or anything, he’s a lovely boy which makes this even harder. I just think he’s he would better off in a different situation with someone other than me

I'm so glad you managed to pick him up. So... sandwich? Soup? Chippy tea?
Evening in front of the TV while you make some calls? ... Bet he is tired after school and just wants to chill.
Perhaps an early night for you? ... See if it feels better or the same in the morning?

I feel for you OP, can see you are really trying but need more help, your son loves you very much... Agree with previous posters... Try school... They can help

I’ve tried school and they have tried to help.
And yes I’ll order them a takeaway

Nomirepies
I don’t know how I could do that. I don’t even know how to contact them really if you’re not under them. I was under them from June till sept (home based treatment team/crisis team ) and could call them then but don’t think I can now I’m not under them

I really feel for you OP. I grew up around depression and someone I loved very much thought we would be better off without them, it wasn’t the truth, it has devastated my entire life. Your son loves you and I know how hard it must be just to put one foot in front of the other at the moment but the fact that you’re on here talking about it is good. Who cares if you need to supply takeaways as the easy option right now, you’re doing your best, you are clearly still thinking of the well being of your child. That makes you a loving, caring parent in my eyes. Your son needs you, keep talking, keep doing your best ❤️

I'm sorry you are struggling so much OP. I have ADHD and am medicated, but if my partner is away with work for more than a couple of days I begin to fall apart, if I was a single parent I'd struggle to keep going too. Rather than not pick your son up, you'd be better not sending him in tomorrow. When school call to check where he is explain you are not mentally well enough to bring him in. That might get you some crisis help. I don't think that is the best thing to do, but it is a potential alternative to not collecting him .

We’ll dine for collecting your DS! That is a major achievement when you are feeling so low.

Tonight - one hour at a time. Takeaway tea. Bath for you and bed early.

Tomorrow decide on one thing to do. Just one, not more. Ring the GP. Or school. Or make your bed. Or go to the shop to buy tomorrow night’s tea. Only one thing.

The next day you can do one more. Build up from the small stuff to the big.

One day, one step. And you’ll walk out of there slowly.

Awwww op, sorry you are feeling like this I can relate completely. Please hold on, for the hope of a change. The only guarantee in life, is that nothing ever stays the same, hopefully that also include, feeling low. Also, music saves. Sometimes it helps me to hear someone sing out the heartbreak, you are unable to articulate. All the very best

It’s clear how much you care about your son. He is lucky to have you, so many children don’t have the love of a parent.

Just take one thing at a time. Try to distract yourself when you’re feeling really low. You will heal with time. Xx

Hi OP. I'm neurodiverse too and remember the days when picking up my children from school felt like too much to cope with and just thinking about the evening routine with its practicalities felt so overwhelming. (And like you I'm generally very organised too.) Things do get better, I promise.

When I was really low I tried to do something small that would make the following day a little easier or something that would make me happy / make me feel as if I've achieved something, even something as simple as emptying the bin or clearing a kitchen surface. Look after yourself lovely, you can do this. xx

OP, you are so brave for reaching out on here. Hug your son tight tonight, you’ve got this more than you know.

user33323 that’s what I did too for a few times which prompted help from school contacting my mental health team and children’s services but it doesn’t seem to be going very far because I am safeguarding my son. It’s ridiculous I know lol.
I think I just dint express myself very well, like when the mental health team speak to me I say I’m ok. But even when I say I’m struggling they dont seem to listen. I think I must just not be able to express myself in words. Maybe I’m writing might be a good idea.
My cpn saw me on Friday and just said I needed to slow down or I was going to crash. I like her, but she’s on anyway leave this week.

Nspcc just phoned me, they’ve put me on hold for a minute after speaking to me

My cpn is on leave this week that should have said. Need an edit button! Lol

I just don’t want this life. I didn’t ask to be born

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s so much to cope with as a single parent that’s also struggling with their own mental health. I wish I lived closer, I would help you clean

So sorry, wish I lived closer as I could help at least with practical things. Carry on posting into the night if it helps, there's always someone around on Mumsnet - insomniacs like me especially.

Raising asd children is hard especially the teen years, mine is grown now, even without having mh issues yourself.

This is so desperately sad but you reached out here so you are capable of expressing how you feel. Maybe show the GP or mental health team this thread. And the fact you are talking to us here means you do want help. You do want the best for your children.

Hug and hand hold. You’ve got this

I agree I am capable of expressing how I feel in words! It just seems that when it’s face to face I freeze and say everything’s fine! How strange

You are not selfish or bad. You are desperate and unwell. Hope you feel better soon OP

Anyway nspcc have put me on hold yet again

How can I raise children with asd/Adhd when I have it myself, its like the blind leading the blind. I can’t help them.

I'm Sorry you're going through this. You're not alone, please tell NSPCC how you're feeling exactly as you've told us. I'm worried about you and I don't think you should be trying to manage on your own through the night with all this. They can help you xx

And all I feel is how asd and adhd have completely ruined my life, how can I talk to my children and tell them how it’s wonderful they are different. When inside I just feel like it’s not wonderful it’s life ruining! Asd and adhd have completely ruined my life, completely. And I have to tell my children how it’s not a big deal. I feel like I’m lying.