What would happen if I didn’t collect DS from after school club?

[Confusedandtired21]

Just that really? Due to be collected before 6pm
I feel beyond able to cope with life at the moment. I have Adhd, asd and bipolar. No one can help so that’s that! So if I didn’t collect him what would happen to him. Would children’s services just get involved? I don’t want this for him but I feel like I don’t have much options left. He’s not hard work or anything, he’s a lovely boy which makes this even harder. I just think he’s he would better off in a different situation with someone other than me

No. I think in my children’s minds they will see how I struggle with the diagnosis and so they will too however I try to hide it. They would be honestly better elsewhere! Guarantee it

Tell them that OP. Show/read them your posts when they call.

@Confusedandtired21

That’s what I’ve been looking at, that I can just get drunk and stay outside overnight and die from hypothermia and it would look like an accident but it wouldn’t be registered as suicide

Please tell social services this. Because they need to take this seriously. I am so sorry it has come to you having these kinds of thoughts, but them boys love you and they need you. Me and so many others on this thread want you to be alive and get better, because it will get better. It may take time, but you will get there xx

OP, I’m so sorry you’re in such a bad place. I know you’ve been asked about this already, but where is their Dad? Unless he’s no longer alive, surely he or his family can give his children some support. I know it might not be an immediate solution, but longer term?

Honestly, you should reach out to everyone who could help you/your children through this difficult time. 💐

Please let us know if they get in touch, if they don’t I will happily stay up tonight and speak to you on here x

SMBC2020
Yes I felt much better on Adhd meds but there’s nothing I can do about it ,I could do the simple things like housework and the kids appointments etc.

@Confusedandtired21

That’s what I’ve been looking at, that I can just get drunk and stay outside overnight and die from hypothermia and it would look like an accident but it wouldn’t be registered as suicide

Please contact Samaritans, your MH crisis team or 999 and tell them this. You are doing the right thing in asking for help and being honest about how you're feeling. Nobody will judge you, they will just want to help.

Sending a hug your way

@Confusedandtired21 your children will be worse off 100% if you die. No question about that. It will add a major trauma on top of their asd/adhd. How will they ever cope?
Them living in a foster home for example a while whilst you are getting better and keeping in touch is maybe what is needed. The main thing is that you stay alive.
Things will get better. You are talking to someone which is good. Tell that person what your plan is. Getting drunk, and hypothermia.

Their dads not interested and I just wouldn’t want anything from him either. he groomed me at 16 when I was homeless. I want nothing from him now, he’s almost 80 anyway . I’m 36

Let social services and your mental health team know how you feel. If it’s easier, write it down and give them the paper.

Social services want to keep children with their parents wherever possible.

Is there a way MNHQ can report this to the emergency services and help the OP??

Let to this thread @Confusedandtired21 so someone may have asked this, but I can’t see an answer- where is your kids dad? My friend was in a very similar situation/frame of mind to you and attempted suicide. Awful. But her kids until then useless father suddenly stepped up, scared the hell out of him, I think. Not that I’m suggesting you do anything that drastic but had you asked us previously we wouldn’t have thought he would have been of any use, but he ended up doing 50/50 with her after that and the space that’s created for her has really helped her to iron out her mental health. It’s been life changing. And even if he isn’t around, what about his parents? Is there anyone that could help you creat some space?

Oh my darling my heart breaks for you. Please please hang in there. My mum committed suicide and I've never fully recovered. They need you - your their mum - but you need urgent help. I wish I could help you but please know there is always a way xxx

OP has just dad is 80 and groomed her when she was a child.

Hold on OP. Please hold on. We've had suicide in our family and the pain for partners and children is 100 x yours now

OP am i reading right that you were taking ADHD meds via a private prescription until last Friday, when you found out the clinic had closed without warning? And that you felt mentally more stable whilst taking them?

Ask every professional you speak to to facilitate you an emergency prescription. You are likely withdrawing from them and that could quite easily be making everything worse.

Oh OP.. It sounds like you're suffering from trauma from sexual abuse yourself? It's no wonder that you're feeling overwhelmed. That's a lot to carry on your shoulders!

Some people have tougher life than others, but those past traumas can be healed with the right help that you can hopefully access at some point. Just know you're the most important person in the whole world to your children, and even if you fail at some parenting tasks, it doesn't matter as long as you are alive and breathing.
Life is not perfect, and it doesn't have to be. Sometimes you just have to get through the bad bits, and do damage control. One breath, one minute, one hour at a time.

Op can you contact 101 they may have out of hours help

@Confusedandtired21

Because if they would take my kids I’d rather just end it now on my own terms.not theirs

Even if they did, it would be safer and less traumatic for them to be taken gently whilst support is put into place for you/emergency admission than it would be to be left waiting at afterschool club and not knowing until much later that you've already acted to end your life.

You must be honest and tell them what you were planning/considering tonight.

Hi Confusedandtired21,

We're sorry to hear how hard things are for you right now - we're pleased to see you're being offered support here but as you know real life professional help is what you need right now.

We're linking to the following support organisations but we would encourage you to request urgent help from children's services.

Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

We hope you'll be able to find useful support from professionals who can help you face the future.

All the very best
MNHQ

My parents are dead and have been for a long time, over a decade

@Confusedandtired21 - You are absolutely nailing it as a parent!!! You have no idea how bloody amazing you are.

When things are going great, it's easy to be a super-duper parent. But when you're struggling with overwhelming conditions yourself, quite literally at rock bottom, while still supporting two autistic children - and all the fighting that involves - you are a fucking rock star.

To manage all of that, and still keep on putting one foot in front of the other is real success. Your child WAS picked up. Your children have been fed. No one gives two shits if the house is a bit untidy right now. You are doing the important stuff even when you are at your worst. And that's why your children need you - because there will be no one that could ever give as much to them as you clearly are.

Also, no one will understand the struggles that your neurodiverse children will face like you do. You ask how the blind leads the blind - it's because you know what it's like to be blind. Someone who has never experienced it can only guess what your children might experience or what they might need. What you perceive as your weakness is actually a great strength, even if it doesn't feel like that right now.

You need your ADHD meds. Please contact the GP surgery - maybe ask to speak to a nurse if it's easier? If you've been taking ADHD meds and have now stopped, OF COURSE you've crashed. Give the Lithium a chance to increase to a therapeutic dose - but you should be on your ADHD meds too.

Executive functioning is a shitter when you have ADHD, even when you're on top form, which you're clearly not. You only have to do the basics for now. Takeaways every night are fine, it's not going to be forever. You just have to get through this period. It will pass. It will. Don't panic about anything else, just focus on what you need to be doing right now. Do you need to sleep? Did you get yourself a drink? Something to eat? Do you need to put your child to bed? One thing at a time. Just one. And then the next.

I'm autistic and have ADHD. I've two DC who are both autistic. I know how tough things can be. Do you have any support directly related to autism/ADHD? That might be really helpful right now. The NAS have closed their helpline but there is a link to local resources. I think it would be helpful for you to have support from autism/ADHD experts, alongside the mental health team.

www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support

I just checked and I'm not anywhere near local to you or else I'd come round and help x

I hope you are getting some good help. I'm late to the thread but I work in a school and parents having a MH crisis is reasonably common for us to see. No one will judge and help will be available to you I hope. Like other posters on this thread, I am the child of a suicide and you never really recover from thinking your parent didn't want to be with you. Please try your hardest not to hurt yourself. Your son loves you so much.

Don’t know if anyone has suggested it but if you can’t express yourself can you show social services or crisis team this thread?

Text "SHOUT" to 85258
These people you can text. If its easier than talking.

Or Samaritans 116123
Do it now. Text or call.