What would happen if I didn’t collect DS from after school club?

[Confusedandtired21]

Just that really? Due to be collected before 6pm
I feel beyond able to cope with life at the moment. I have Adhd, asd and bipolar. No one can help so that’s that! So if I didn’t collect him what would happen to him. Would children’s services just get involved? I don’t want this for him but I feel like I don’t have much options left. He’s not hard work or anything, he’s a lovely boy which makes this even harder. I just think he’s he would better off in a different situation with someone other than me

I’ve sat in lots and lots of professional meetings regarding children and whether they should be taken into care. What I can say is that whatever the short term outcome professionals always, always are less concerned about the parent who acknowledges things aren’t right and wants help than the one who claims everything is fine when it’s very clear it’s not. When you are upfront, want to work with social services and mental health services, they should be seeking to minimise any disruption to your children to the minimum necessary to keep them safe. That could mean foster care whilst you get the right care, but that can be supportive and with your agreement rather than something done to you. Remember that the default position is that most children are best with their parents, where they can be.

OP, if you have stopped your ADHD meds suddently it will make you feel like you've been hot by a truck. Whenever I've had to stop mine it massively impacts my mood (also have BPD) and can send me suicidal with the feelings it creates. I looked it up and it's actually a 'thing' going into withdrawal with them, so not just me being weird! That could be having a massive effect on why you're feeling so bad.

Im in greater manchester. Enhanced crb checked due to my studies. Happy to help you out with whatever you need. Im a single parent of 3 and know what its like. Message me if you want. X

Well the house is still chaos! But I did iron all the uniforms, cleaned the bathroom, changed bedding and then somehow got distracted and ending up putting up a Xmas tree in my room (because that was obviously a really good use of my time 🙄) however youngest DS is very happy and went to sleep in my room watching a Xmas movie while looking at the Xmas tree!
Had all the intentions of cleaning the entire house, but then it snowed and the kids wanted to go out so had to find hats gloves etc (no easy task in this house!) then they wanted hot chocolate, then I had to cajole my middle DS into the shower (successful) and then try to get him to tidy his room (did not happen) then they wanted to talk, alllllllll the talking, I swear these kids do not stop talking! Then youngest really just wanted to listen to Xmas music, and yes I know it’s not even December yet! Lol
Absolutely dreading tomorrow! Will 2 of them turn up? I struggle coordinating conversation with 2 people at once cos I’m weird lol. I’m fine one to one.
So I only hope they won’t turn up super early cos then I’ll have time to tidy a bit more, love an emergency deadline me, get more done under a deadline of an hour than I do all month!

Buluminous that is so kind!
But I can see that what I have said on here has triggered you and I wouldn’t want anything to trigger you further ❤️

@Biluminous

Sounds like an amazing day for the children!
Always put making memories before cleaning the house. They will not remember how long you spent cleaning the house but they will remember making fun memories in the snow.

Lower your expectations for your house. It will never be a perfect "Mrs hinch" home when you have a busy & happy family living it in!
I have a baby and am pregnant so I've had to let my house expectations drop so I don't beat myself up as my cleaning job list never ends!!
Xx

Sounds like a lovely weekend!

If two people turn up, you could have written down or say “I struggle to focus when 2 people
Are talking to me, so if I can we take it slow today?”

Well no one has turned up! So I rang children services, the women who came out the other day isn’t dealing with it anymore so they told me to ring reception who can’t see that anyone is working on it or being open to anyone 😐 someone will ring me back apparently. Very strange

I struggle coordinating conversation with 2 people at once cos I’m weird lol. I’m fine one to one

Tell them this!

Don't beat yourself up. You did some chores, that's good. December is only days away so putting up the tree is fine. DC sounds like they had a great time. Fun is equally as important as a clean house. You're doing ok.

Someone rang back and said it’s being coordinated to a social worker who will be in touch once it has been for assessment. I don’t think we should wait. It needs to be done ASAP.

Should be more patient though!

Never mind, they just rang again. Someone is coming at 12 tomorrow

Well done OP. And it's brilliant you've shown them today that you're proactive and keen to work with them. I honestly think you're doing really well

Well done op! I understand I'm only a stranger online, but I'm really proud how you're handling this. You're stronger than you realise ❤️

That's good news OP!

And my 15 year olds school senco rang today to arrange a meeting so we can get the ball rolling for an Adhd assessment, so that seems positive

Yes that does seem positive about the ADHD assessment. It's all progress. Good luck for the SS visit tomorrow.

EllieLucy :)

I actually think that text is perfect Op. it's so hard to say what's in your head when your head is spinning with a million thoughts isn't it?

I sent the senco (she is also safeguarding in this school) the link to his thread in case she could understand etc. But now I feel sick at the thought of it

No I think that's 100% the correct thing to do for you and your children

@Confusedandtired21

And I don’t would get a cleaner but Ill have clean for the cleaner lol

It gets easier when you have a cleaner & are a lone parent as you can get on with the other jobs that no one else can do!