Therapy stressful

[thesootherfairy]

Hi everyone.
Just wondering if anyone else had experienced this.

I'm currently receiving individual therapy. It's a long term treatment (12 months plus).

I'm finding it so so stressful. I literally feel sick the day before and during the day leading up to the appointment.

Afterwards I feel really stressed for days on end and I only sort almost feel normal the day before the appointment and then I start to feel sick and stressed again.

Even thinking about it makes me feel so stressed. My jaw clenches, my heart races and I feel sick.

That isn't a normal reaction is it? I thought therapy was about helping with stress (amongst other things). This is causing huge amounts of stress.

Has this happened to anyone else?

@Orgasmagorical
Not sure. My head is so broken and don't know where to turn.
I'll probably try and speak to my GP tomorrow.
❤️

I think that's a good idea, don't hold back with how bad you're feeling and that you aren't getting any support, hopefully she'll be able to do something to help

@Orgasmagorical I will. I do feel bad laying all this at her door but there's nowhere else to turn.

I can ask axa again but last time was so off putting and stressful just for them to be unable to help.

Part of the issue then was they were only really operating in patient Ed treatment. I think that may have changed.

I'm going to ask my GP tomorrow. Or at least make the appointment with her tomorrow.

How are you doing, Soother?

@Orgasmagorical
Not good.
My own stupid fault.
I had started to pull myself together a bit.
I had spoken to my GP and then had an email from the Ed service. They invited me to have a session this week with the same therapist to talk.

Big mistake! This was not in my interest at all. This was all about how great she was and how much she wanted to help but that I was too useless and unsuitable so oh well she just couldn't.

It was to ensure she had very much the last word on how defective and unsuitable I was and how the service, whilst wanting to help, didn't have anything suitable on offer.

I asked what was on offer and she refused to tell me. But assured me it was all NICE guidelines but wouldn't tell me what that meant, never mind what they offer or anything useful.

She kept asking me what I wanted and when I told her, apparently that wasn't really on offer or she needed to discuss this with the team and get back to me.

Part way though I think she referred to me as disabled (wtf!).

The above is just a small slice of what happened and what she said.

It was not good, helpful or at all in my interest. It was exactly the opposite.

I don't think I've ever felt this bad before.
I don't ever want to speak to anyone again. Therapy and therapist are terrible. They rip you apart and destroy you.
Wish I hadn't said a word. Ever. Talking to people are a bad idea. Never to be repeated.

Oh, Soother, that is just shite. It sounds like not only has she been useless she's actually been harmful to you. Do you feel up to raising a complaint? Even if you don't feel up to that I think it would be a good idea to keep as detailed notes as you can for any potential future things that may arise (if other users have had similar experiences) and also to get it out of your head and onto paper. It won't take it all away, obviously, but I found writing stuff down or typing it out did help a bit.

You will start to pull yourself together again. Try and find little things to bring you joy throughout the day - sometimes forcing yourself to go and sniff a flower or concentrate on watching a bird can be enough to shift a glum mood for a while and raise your spirits. I'm thinking of you

You will be sent a discharge letter, which will also be sent to your GP.
Maybe wait to see what that says and go from there. You will then have her words in writing.

What did your GP say?

@Orgasmagorical thank you. Having such a shit time.

One funny thing. She's made me cry and cry (obvs not funny!) And was trying to tell me how brilliant zoom therapy was. Ie I was the problem nothing to do with her.

Just as she says that my DD comes barging in home from school an hour early because a lesson was cancelled. (DD is at senior school).

Sort of proved my point about zoom but sadly Dd had to see me in a state which I'm now upset about.

@TheOrigRights. That's the thing. I don't know if they're discharging me.
She said that I needed therapy but because I was apparently too stupid for her therapy, I would have to go back on the 2 year waiting list. Nice. Make a complete mess of me and drop me for 2 years.
All the while banging on about NICE guidelines.
And would I like a nice assessment for autism to explore my disability.
Would I fuck!
And we pay tax for this? It's shocking.
I've been under the service for 9 months and suddenly this is brought up?
Herself she's had 4 months in fact nearly 5 to bring that up in and again it wasn't until I criticised her precious zoom.

Zoom. A lazy way for her to work. Really looks like someone who can't be arsed to turn up and do their job properly. But then I'm stupid so what do I know.

I've recorded every single season on my phone audio. After the experience with the first horrid cbt woman. I thought they were untrustworthy so I recorded
Everything.

Stay away from NHS and therapy. You'll feel better. That's for sure.

I've recorded every single session on my phone audio

This is good - you have evidence. I would absolutely consider raising a complaint against her or the so called service that is on offer. Not only is it not fit for purpose, it's damaging. God knows what harm she could be doing to other people as well.

Having such a shit time

As Claire Rayner said "Nothing stays the same forever - whether it's good or bad". This is one of your bad times, Soother, but good times will come again

Thank you @Orgasmagorical
❤️
Today has been horrible. Can barely function. I was so much better before the NHS started wading around in my head. Never again.

DH wants to consult a solicitor. He is absolutely furious.

It's all just so shit. I don't know how I am supposed to put myself together again after this.

One foot in front of the other, one minute at a time