Therapy stressful

[thesootherfairy]

Hi everyone.
Just wondering if anyone else had experienced this.

I'm currently receiving individual therapy. It's a long term treatment (12 months plus).

I'm finding it so so stressful. I literally feel sick the day before and during the day leading up to the appointment.

Afterwards I feel really stressed for days on end and I only sort almost feel normal the day before the appointment and then I start to feel sick and stressed again.

Even thinking about it makes me feel so stressed. My jaw clenches, my heart races and I feel sick.

That isn't a normal reaction is it? I thought therapy was about helping with stress (amongst other things). This is causing huge amounts of stress.

Has this happened to anyone else?

@ValancyRedfern thank you.
Sadly already tried private route. Have insurance. They only offer priory.
I got caught in this ridiculous loop I. January where they would want to offer treatment (again zoom only!) subject to an assessment by a psychiatrist. None of their psychiatrists would carry out a zoom assessment for anorexia. It had to be face to face but they weren't doing face to face and told me to go back and see my GP.

I saw my GP who obviously asked why I was looking at private when I was under the Ed service she had referred me to and I told her what an awful time I was having with the cbt lady.

That's when she complained and I ended up with this new situation in this clinical trial.

It's been ridiculous. I can't seem to get treatment that suits anywhere.

I feel so sad and hopeless. I've just given up. I feel like I've been passed from pillar to post but without any thing suitable.

I'm part of this clinical trial for anorexia therapy but in the nearly 9 months I've been under the Ed service I've never seen a dietitian or spoken to anyone about it.

Here I am having to turn to strangers on the internet because I don't know what to do. 😢

What’s wrong with the priory?

stess is very serious.
it affects ur health badly.it leads to depression.
if anyone has depression please see the following site for help.
expressive therapy for depression
[url=" www.healthline.com/health/depression/expressive-therapy#Overview1"]Expressive Therapy For Depression [/url]

I have weekly face to face therapy one hour before I go to work, we sit on opposite sides of the room. Also long term at least 12 months.
Dragging up all the stuff from the past makes me distraught. I end up crying throughout and looking a complete mess and then have to go to work looking a complete mess.
We tried it in the afternoon but |I'd have to take 2 hours annual leave for that and it just uses all my leave up so I had to go back to mornings.
I've suppressed my feelings for 50 years and it's all coming out, anger, pain, everything. But it's a process that needs to be done. Doesn't make it any easier.

@DelilahDingleberry
They couldn't offer therapy because they required a psychiatrist assessment first.
None of their psychiatrists would consider doing an assessment for anorexia which wasn't face to face. Due to the risks given the condition.

This was in January and they were not doing anything apart from zoom for outpatient at that point.
So they couldn't help and directed me back to GP.

It was such a let down. I'd had to have 6 long painful phone conversations with my insurance, then 5 more with various people from priory before they worked out that they couldn't help.

Therapy generally isn't comfortable, it has to push you out of your comfort zone and that is usually stressful at first but the relationship with your therapist should be strong enough that you still feel safe and it sounds like that isn't happening and Zoom is to blame.

Is private therapy an option, where you could see them face to face?

Sorry, by private I mean not through insurance, just paying them out of pocket.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut after this thread, this is what I am now looking at. I don't think there is any other way.

I am having trouble finding someone locally who does EDs and especially anorexia. The one beat recommended practitioner locally isn't taking new patients at the moment.

It's depressing.

So as per my other posts, I emailed and said I couldn't do the zoom thing and I felt that therapy would need to be delivered in another way.

Looks like a mistake as now I don't have any therapy. It's thanks and goodbye instead.

So unhelpful. I can't believe it is even ethical to cut someone off like that.

When I agreed to participate in their clinical trial I signed a paper which stated that if I didn't want to participate I would still be offered therapy without interruption or prejudice.
This isn't what has just happened.

This just seems very unethical and is it even legal for them to do this?

What a waste of time. Wish I'd never asked for anything. I would have been better off.

When I agreed to participate in their clinical trial I signed a paper which stated that if I didn't want to participate I would still be offered therapy without interruption or prejudice. This isn't what has just happened.

If it were me I would take that further, whether it be with the health trust or your MP. I would certainly copy in your GP who seems to be a bit more helpful, maybe they could at least back you up if you do feel you can take it further.

I'm so sorry you've had such a negative experience and disappointing and frankly infuriating reply to your email

She didn't even acknowledge there was an issue with the delivery via zoom.

She just said she was sorry I didn't want zoom and without any further acknowledgement suggested I look elsewhere.

I feel so let down.
I've email my GP but I can't see what she can do.

The big issue with this clinical trial is that everyone has to have it delivered the same way. Ie zoom.
Almost everyone else is likely in the 20 to 25 age bracket.
This means they're unvaccinated.
I'm fully vaccinated so could meet someone fairly safely for both parties.

It's very unfair to effectively only offer me therapy on the basis of taking part in a clinical trial. And when there is an issue with how it's delivered, refuse to help me anymore or even acknowledge there is a problem with it.

They're utterly shit. It's all utterly shit.

The poster on here who said that therapists don't actually want to know how you feel unless it aligns with their own thinking, was absolutely bang on.

Honestly what is the bloody point.

All the news articles and beat information that all says "seek help" "help is available" "everyone can recover from an Ed" it's all utter bollcks. There isn't anything available and certainly not for real grown ups with family's and life commitments.

Words fail. I want a refund from HMRC. Such a shit service doesn't deserve funding.

Could you contact the centre delivering the clinical trial or the health board? I did a clinical trial once and I only got access to something due to agreeing to go in the trial. But. Once I'd agreed, ethically they couldn't force me to take part in the trial, I think. So what they told everyone was you're approved for funding by the health board now, regardless of whether you agree to the trial once you have more information on it. I was happy to take part in the trial but someone messed up my blood test so by the time it had been redone I had missed the deadline for the start of the trial. I still got treatment. I don't know if it'll make a difference that you were part way through the trial.

The poster on here who said that therapists don't actually want to know how you feel unless it aligns with their own thinking, was absolutely bang on.

I truly believe these therapists to be inadequate, ineffective and unable to properly do their job. There should at least be an acknowledgement that their style of therapy doesn't suit you so look elsewhere, instead of acting like you're untreatable or refusing to engage in the therapy. If their limited training is not adequate to help you, that doesn't make it your problem. It's not right you've been treated like this. I hope you can find someone helpful.

I want to give you what they call an unmumsnetty hug, Soother

It's a trial - they've had a fail - are they going to record it as such? They'll be needing feedback, surely. They'll be needing to know that your therapist was unhelpful and dismissive when you emailed her with your concerns. I'm not saying this to get her into trouble but she is making it unworkable, or is that coming from higher up?

I missed some posts. Therapist is acting like you're turning down the therapy. Email back, ask for the name of her boss and ask to be provided with a copy of the official complaint procedure. State you're not turning down therapy, you still want it, but you need it provided by another means as zoom is unsuitable. Then raise a complaint.

I had the same experience during the first lockdown. Was offered some sessions after waiting nearly 2 years and then was removed from their list as I didn't have anywhere private to do phone sessions. Wasn't even allowed to defer until after lockdown.

I pay privately and its the best decision I could have made. I picked my own counsellor, am seen in person except for a short period during lockdown and I'm not limited to a certain number of sessions.

@Orgasmagorical thank you. You've actually made me cry. ❤️

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut I'm too overwhelmed to look just now but that is going to be the way forward. Clearly NHS is no help whatsoever.

@AmberIsACertainty. My therapist is the one who is running the trial so she's the one who got the funding awarded

Not sure who I complain to?? The Ed service?

She clearly isn't interested in providing therapy for anyone unless it conforms to her pet project. Fair enough but I don't think the Ed service should have said to me that it was participating in this trial or another 18 month wait for therapy.

It all seems to be for their benefit and not mine.

Not sure I can do any more of this or even try and talk to someone else.

I just feel like the last year has been a waste of time. I'm now in a worse state than I was a year ago. No idea where I go from here.

What did you say in your email?

Would it be worth trying your private medical again?

Face to face treatment has started again at a lot of private facilities for those who need it (as you do).

@DelilahDingleberry

That zoom wasn't working for a number of reasons which I listed. Such as no privacy which impacts on what I feel I can share and my stress levels.
The issues with zoom such as audio feed back and the audio and video being out of sync which means I can't look at the screen.
That this leads to stress and a lack of connection which feeds into why the Ed exists in the first place.
That I wanted therapy but not via zoom. That I felt it was unreasonable to refuse face to face as pretty much everything else has gone back to face to face and that I'd had Physiotherapy during lockdowns 2 and 3 face to face in a hospital so surely now that I'm vaccinated, face to face isn't an issue any more.

I also felt that the issues with zoom created so many issues I couldn't see how it could help and that the stress caused by zoom was making things worse.
And please could I have face to face.

But no. I can have precisely nothing.

I know someone who works in a different CCG to mine (but lives locally). She plans services (hospital ones not MH). She told me that many MH and ED services were planning to work via zoom forever now and face to face to be phased out completely.

I only asked her this evening after my email fail. She said I shouldn't have said anything and I'll be discharged now without treatment.

I can't believe this is allowed. You're not even allowed to raise a question or concern.

No one would think it would be ok to have actual medical treatment in your dining room whilst your family popped in and out. I can't understand how therapy is different. It is also medical treatment so why do I not have any rights to privacy and treatment in a safe setting??

@mowwiththebow I rang axa this afternoon. They only do priory who are still not providing outpatient therapy face to face.

So no luck there.

What did you want to happen? You were previously told face to face wasn’t available and you’ve made very clear zoom wasn’t working so I’m wondering what outcome you were hoping for?

Sorry no luck with axa. If you find a specialist and pay yourself, you might find they give you some money towards the treatment. I think it was £50 a consultation for a company scheme I used to be on if you saw a doctor who wasn't on their list.

Would renting a meeting room in a wework or regus for the weekly session be an option for you? You shouldn't have to but maybe it would help to be somewhere private away from home.

Face to face wasn't available 5months ago.

Things are very different now!

Also the first CBT lady had been face to face from September till Xmas. From the same service. So I don't understand the problem.

So surely now there's no reason not to be face to face.

And they want me to attend blood tests and weight checks in person at the service but not therapy?

It doesn't make any sense and it can't be about covid. Otherwise they wouldn't offer the other stuff face to face.

@mowwiththebow too late now as I'll be discharged.

@DelilahDingleberry to be clear
I wanted face to face Therapy.
And I don't see why I can't have that when I a physical checks with them in person.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable to want this?

No I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want it, but you were told it wasn’t on offer and seem unable to find anything that will help you, so I’m asking what you’re hoping for.

Who knows why she isn’t offering face to face - perhaps she can’t have the vaccine, or maybe a member of her family can’t or hasn’t had the vaccine yet. Maybe the office arrangements have changed. Maybe her childcare has changed. Ultimately it doesn’t matter why face to face isn’t on offer: it isn’t on offer and that’s that. So now what?