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Original poster

Would you find somewhere else to stay to give DH and DSS 'space'

298 replies

Hop27 · 11/03/2021 08:28

DH has asked if I can stay somewhere else for the weekend to give DSS and him space. No family near and wouldn't feel comfortable asking friends. So it would be a hotel. Is this the right thing to do?

OP posts:
Candyfloss99 · 14/03/2021 19:29

This is a tragic read but I think it's all come to a head now and you know you need to leave him x

Original poster
Hop27 · 14/03/2021 19:59

Thank you to everyone for your support. The snowflake has left, had no idea his wicked DSM was locked in her bedroom. So I am now allowed out to freely roam in my own home. If it wasn't so terribly sad I would laugh at the sheer lunacy of it all.
Step one. Going to see the acute mental health team Monday.
Thanks again everyone

OP posts:
MiaowMiaow99 · 14/03/2021 20:13

Good luck OP.

I wish you well Flowers

LucieStar · 14/03/2021 22:34

Thanks best of luck OP.

NewSong · 14/03/2021 23:06

Hop27 I have just read the updates and want to send my good wishes to you. I can't believe you were put in this situation and felt so desperate. I hope you get the support you need.
Also, having to hide in your own home like that is just shocking. I hope you are not in that situation again. FlowersBrew

Pleaseaddcaffine · 15/03/2021 06:47

Op you need help and support and I'm not sure your partner is a safe space for that given his behaviour over the weekend.
Be safe

aSofaNearYou · 15/03/2021 09:00

I cannot believe that, following an overdose, you were expected to spend the weekend so confined your SS didn't even notice you were there at all, let alone expected to go ahead with checking into a hotel. He's really shown his true colours OP and I hope you realise that's a reflection on him, not you. I wish you all the best!

Gobbeldegook · 15/03/2021 13:31

Let us know how today goes Flowers

TiersForFears1 · 15/03/2021 16:40

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aSofaNearYou · 15/03/2021 16:44

Some people use the threat of suicide as a manipulation tactic. This is a reason why I'm curious to find out if this is the first time OP has done this.

Some people do, yes, but much like jumping to the conclusion that sexual assault victims are likely to be making it up, I can't help but be cynical of anyone that would jump to THAT conclusion.

Twillow · 15/03/2021 22:31

@aSofaNearYou

It seems as though the situation will be more difficult now, I'm sorry to say, as your husband will understandably be resentful of you for adding drama to what was already a difficult triangle.

I'm sorry, but are you actually saying that it is understandable and appropriate for him to feel resentful of her for overdosing?

Sorry, I meant to write 'undoubtedly rather than 'understandably'. From what another poster indicated the OP is having fertility issues, which she hasn't mentioned on this thread. So I think, as I suspected, there is more to this than the stepson issue causing the suicide attempt. The fact that OP calls him a snowflake isn't great though.
tommyhoundmum · 16/03/2021 09:34

She didn't call him snowflake to his face, though.

Pleaseaddcaffine · 16/03/2021 10:02

My friend calls her child a snowflake to her face. She says it's important o have opinions but also to learn that others do to and they are also valid. You can agree to differ.
If you flounce of and don't speak to people because they disagree with you then that's poor behaviour and isn't acceptable. You can't hold down a job and behave like that!

tommyhoundmum · 16/03/2021 11:56

I occasionally ask mine not to behave like a princess (aged 18 on Thursday). She forgets sometimes I am 74 and not as strong as I was.

aSofaNearYou · 16/03/2021 12:21

@Twillow I can't see anything wrong with her calling him a snowflake, either. Regardless of what "caused" the suicide attempt, the fact is a woman who was low enough to have just taken an overdose was then forced to spend the whole weekend isolated in one room (neither of which are things that are recommended for people experiencing suicidal thoughts), because HE didn't want to have to see her. Said woman then referring to him as a snowflake, on an online forum he will never see, is very far from the biggest injustice I see here.

OPs husband is an absolute prick for not prioritising her and sticking to her like glue following her attempt, and I sincerely hope she finds the strength to break away from him!

ChancesWhatChances · 16/03/2021 12:23

Please leave, please. This isn’t normal or ok FlowersFlowersFlowers

ChancesWhatChances · 16/03/2021 12:25

And by that I mean the way your husband and step son are treating you. They are abusive cunts and I really hope you manage to escape when you feel strong enough Flowers

jessstan2 · 16/03/2021 12:46

@Hop27

Thank you to everyone for your support. The snowflake has left, had no idea his wicked DSM was locked in her bedroom. So I am now allowed out to freely roam in my own home. If it wasn't so terribly sad I would laugh at the sheer lunacy of it all. Step one. Going to see the acute mental health team Monday. Thanks again everyone
Were he and his dad able to resolve issues? I think you are entitled to know the result.

I do think they have treated you shabbily in your own home, Hop. Please never agree to anything like that again.

Original poster
Hop27 · 18/03/2021 08:19

Mental health team have been amazing. Have a solid mental health recovery plan in place and my girlfriends have been outstanding.
The other relationship is a work in progress .... thanks everyone for checking in.

OP posts:
Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 18/03/2021 08:36

Good to hear Flowers

Gobbeldegook · 18/03/2021 08:58

Pleased you have the support you need

tommyhoundmum · 18/03/2021 12:02

I hope things work out for you. You deserve it.

TonkinLenkicks · 18/03/2021 12:22

So sorry you're poorly. Get your ducks in a row, if this 'man' couldn't prioritise you in a genuine time of need then the marriage would be done for me. That can wait though and easy for me, a stranger on the internet, to say. Concentrate on yourself and use the people you trust to support you. Then when you are in a better place kick his arse Thanks

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