Would you find somewhere else to stay to give DH and DSS 'space'

[Hop27]

DH has asked if I can stay somewhere else for the weekend to give DSS and him space. No family near and wouldn't feel comfortable asking friends. So it would be a hotel. Is this the right thing to do?

OP I am so sorry that you felt there was no other way out.
Give yourself some care , DH has shown you what he feels.
Feels the right time to make some changes.

He should be the one leaving, not you. It's his issue.

I am so sorry OP this is no way to live.
Please take care of yourself and don’t let them make you feel worthless.
Once the SS is gone and you can think clearly if I were you I’d be starting to make plans for my future.

Oh no op. I'm so sorry. Your husband should have told you to come home, when he knew youd o overdosed. How are you feeling? If it were me I'd sell the house and get your own place. You husband and his ex pushing you away is affecting your mental health.

@Hop27 this is so sad. What is wrong with you’re husband?

Your life is more important than both of them. It's clearly a toxic environment for everyone, you are being driven out, husband is pathetic & spectacularly uncaring. If you go anywhere, it should be for good. You need to extricate yourself from this misery

Say no! This is your home and they all need to understand you won't leave your home at DSS' request. He can see his father without you needing to leave. If they don't want you around then DH can arrange to see DSS away from the home.

You are right this is ridiculous. I don't think I would be able to stay in the relationship under those circumstances.

Nice hotel, he pays.
Arrange for a string of Estate Agents to visit over the weekend with a view to selling it and getting your equity out.
Let him know the schedule and purpose on your way out.

This is not ok.
Your husband is treating you appallingly and to be honest it sounds abusive.

It's time to take stock and to reevaluate your marriage.

Don't be treated like this.

Sending you love. Hope you feeling better.

Be brave and live your life. Go and make your cup of tea. If the son / dh is around, make polite conversation. Be nice. If they need to continue their chat, then they can go in another room.

Offer to go stay with the ex wife for the weekend?

Sorry for OP I didn’t read all and was flippant.

Sorry you felt so desperate- I do hope you can start working toward a resolution soon

Your husband knows you took an overdose, spent 24 hours in A&E and still wants you to go to a hotel?

If this is real your marriage is over. It's done. Time for a fresh start.

You poor lovely

Think really carefully about your options and what to do next. Your DH has shown you who he is: believe him.

I know you really want a child, and probably feel this is your last chance. Could you afford to go solo with donor sperm? Your seniority/valuable work skills would actually make it easier for you to get both the flexibility and income level you might need.

Or maybe you'll decide that having a child isn't something you want enough to make the difficult sacrifices it will need in this situation. That's an OK choice.

If you decide that putting up with this shit is a sacrifice you are willing to make to have a child with DH, be wary that once you do have a child with him, you are tied to him and this toxic environment forever. And it will affect your child as well as you.

It's possible to live almost parallel to a partner before you have kids, to segregate their problems/limitations so that they don't affect you. That's no longer possible once you have a child together because your DC will be deeply affected by their other parent, and you can't actually improve or bolster that.

Perhaps time to give your husband's Ex something to be joyful about and leave the twat. Sorry you are having to hide in your own house. This is really not on.

DSS needs to be told he doesn’t have a say who is in YOUR home . I wouldn’t be leaving or staying in my room. Stand up and be counted.

Jesus OP I’m sorry

After reading your initial posts my reaction was that your husband's reaction was misguided. Separation is so hard on children but the answer is not to temporarily take you out of the equation. All that will do is reinforce that the issue is you (it's not). I don't doubt your husband needs one on one time with DSS but far better in my opinion to take him out for the day to try to get to the bottom of it in a neutral setting.

Regarding your update - I'm so sorry. You say your husband still wants you to go to the hotel - what else is he saying around that, can he explain why?

Let him book you into a spa break!

Gosh , sorry I thought I had read the whole thread. Ignore me. Best of luck