Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

@TheSilentStars sorry! I’m getting you mixed up with @Skyliner001, hard to keep up sometimes 🙈

Thanks everyone for the reassurance. I mentioned it to my husband and he said ‘you’ve said this loads of time the day or so before your period’ 😂

@Lib3rtine don’t blame you for working as long as possible whilst you can work from home, means more time with the baby afterwards doesn’t it. Do you know whether baby is a boy or a girl or are you waiting for a surprise? So exciting!

Thanks, yes it was more than 25 years ago 😊

Just had a sudden massive panic and went and did a Breast exam (nothing has changed). Heard my partner coming up the stairs, and had to chuck my jumper on and kick my bra underneath the chest of drawers, as he thinks I'm doing so well today!!

I haven't examined since before 8:30 this morning.

I am now off to steam mop the kitchen floor, and the bathroom floor as my fine.

@Skyliner001 I had to do something similar at the weekend! 😂

I hate cleaning bathrooms and the kitchen so I might fine myself next time I check, if I’ve got to clean the bathroom every time I do a check I’ll soon stop! 🙈

@MrsWhites it’s a surprise, although I’m thinking girl!!

It is making me laugh about the fines, it’s definitely something I’m going to try!!

It worked really well but have lapsed now.

Will try again tomorrow 😊

@Lib3rtine ah it’s lovely when you get a surprise. My eldest was a surprise but I felt like I knew she was a girl...she was. Youngest we found out that he was a boy but I was too scared to buy boys clothes in case they were wrong so ended up buying all neutral anyway 🙈

@Skyliner001 Don’t beat yourself up, we’ve all been there. All you can do is try again tomorrow!

Fining sounds like a really good idea! I'll definitely have to give that one a try. Checked again, this is getting ridiculous. I panic if I can't feel the exact same thing in the exact same spot on the other one, then realise i can feel it just a little bit further up/down.

Does anyone think this lockdown and everything going on is making any checking and worrying worse?

DD currently having her tea and feeding the dog sprouts. He doesn't like them so now I'm off to pick them up in various locations along the hallway and kitchen

@dillydallydollydaydream7 I do exactly the same, I can feel some things that feel similar in the other one but because it doesn’t feel exactly the same it freaks me out!

[quote MrsWhites]@Lib3rtine ah it’s lovely when you get a surprise. My eldest was a surprise but I felt like I knew she was a girl...she was. Youngest we found out that he was a boy but I was too scared to buy boys clothes in case they were wrong so ended up buying all neutral anyway 🙈

@Skyliner001 Don’t beat yourself up, we’ve all been there. All you can do is try again tomorrow![/quote]
Thanks!

@dillydallydollydaydream7

Fining sounds like a really good idea! I'll definitely have to give that one a try. Checked again, this is getting ridiculous. I panic if I can't feel the exact same thing in the exact same spot on the other one, then realise i can feel it just a little bit further up/down.

Does anyone think this lockdown and everything going on is making any checking and worrying worse?

DD currently having her tea and feeding the dog sprouts. He doesn't like them so now I'm off to pick them up in various locations along the hallway and kitchen

Me too!!! One good is a little bigger!

@MrsWhites I have spotting a couple days before and after my period monthly.

My most recent spike has subsided now. I generally will find something, fixate on it for around 4-6 weeks, then slowly realise I don’t have cancer/HIV/MS and have periods like now, these can last anything from 6 weeks - a few months (longest I’ve gone without a spike is 11 months), where I’m almost ‘normal’. Mind is clear, I don’t panic over every little twinge. Then I will notice a bruise, or a lump, or have a headache that last too long and the whole cycle starts again.

Exhausting.

I've now poked the left breast so much that I have made it sore, and a bit numb. I have made a list though about all the thoughts I have, and I'm going to be determined tomorrow to not check.

@Tunnocks34 I understand that cycle, although the most I’ve ever had is a couple of weeks and that hasn’t been for a long time. Here’s hoping you don’t get any spikes anytime soon!

@Skyliner001 sometimes when I think I can feel something it helps to ask myself does it feel significantly different to the rest of the lumps and bumps we have in our breasts. On the old thread I mentioned that I once read a doctor describe breasts feeling like the head of a cauliflower but a bad lump feels distinctively different to the rest of the breast.

Have managed to refrain from checking every time I pass a mirror today! Had a minor Google/youtube spiral which set my anxiety off a bit but managed to stop myself. Still waiting for my appointment but have been told to call tomorrow to chase it. It's amazing how you convince yourself you're seriously unwell but the thought of going and having it confirmed either way by a doctor is horrendous.

@MrsWhites I love the cauliflower comparison! Thank you so much for sharing that

@PeachScone I totally get what you mean about it feel horrendous seeing the doctor but just think - you won't be the first and you certainly won't be the last to walk through their door in your situation. Let us know how you get on chasing it up

So the last hour or so I seem to have come a few more rungs down the ladder compared to last night. I was sat up in bed and everything was fine, then I started thinking about lumps and then bingo, my left breast felt 'odd' and 'heavy' so I convinced myself there must be something deep inside. Prodded and poked, found what I assumed was a lump, so then felt everything it was attached too, and I think it was actually the muscle I felt, as it went all the way up and curved at the bottom. Could feel slightly the same on the other side. Went back to bed and read for a bit and feel calmer now. If anyone's a reader when I was going through a really bad anxiety attack last year my friend recommended 'Reasons to stay Alive' by Matt Haig. He a few books out but 3 of them are about him and this one is about how he overcame anxiety and depression and sort of picks anxiety and irrational thoughts apart. I'm only a few chapters in but it's really relatable

Thank you for the new thread I really missed you all but did not know how to start one x😳

Morning everyone, I’m going to therapy today! I’ll come back on this evening and let you all know what I think, it was a woman I spoke to on the phone but I think it’s a man I will be doing it with, apparently we don’t do much today but go through what type of therapy may be best for me etc. Hope everyone is doing ok!

Please do come back and let us know how it goes. Really hope it goes well.

I'm determined not to prod today, will update later.

@tmh88 Good luck! I found it really useful when I went. Let us know!

@Skyliner001 Good for you! I've prodded this morning early on when I was getting the kids and myself ready but refusing to do it anymore today

Good luck today @tmh88 I really hope it goes well for you!

I’m really struggling today ladies, still no sign of my period which is due today after the two days of tiny blood streaks in discharge (think when you blow your nose). This coupled with the bout of thrush I had just after Christmas has me convinced I have cervical cancer! I’ve spent the morning googling and going to the toilet every 5 minutes. Logically I know that I’ve only ever had the very slight bleeding either a couple of days before or after my period with the exception of the thrush incident which also had pinkish discharge for a day or so and my smear was clear in mid 2019 but that’s not stopping my mind adding 2+2 together and coming up with cervical cancer.

@MrsWhites just remember stress can stop your period from coming too. Vicious cycle!

@Tunnocks34 I’ve been trying to remember this but then I stress about stressing 🙈

The silly thing is this has happened before so it’s not altogether unusual for me but it’s just like my mind has latched on to it this month and is going into overdrive!

Update - normal service is resuming so looks like I was just being an over dramatic miserable cow again 🙈

I think lockdown has a roll to play this week, I mean I understand why it’s necessary and I don’t disagree with it but it’s still bloody miserable to accept that this is life for the next few months. I’m hoping I adjust by next week and can be a bit more positive. But this has definitely played a part in my mental health this week. Sorry i’m hogging the board a bit today but it definitely helps to just type out how I feel sometimes!