Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

I'm yucky today too.
Under ribs ache (but am waiting on gallbladder scan which I'm hoping and praying is what it is) and groin and hip ache. Probably from going for a long walk yesterday then sitting at the computer all day yesterday preparing work and all this morning doing live lessons.
But of course I'm going to sit and Google nasties for an hour now.
The only ones I don't think I've got are cervical, uterus and ovary because I had a smear and transvaginal scan in November.
Convinced I've got everything else though.
I try and tell myself how unlikely it would be to have bowel, stomach and breast C all at the same time but then end up going "ooooh but it will be one of them"

I like the cauliflower description very much. I try to do both my breasts at the same time because if I do one I find 20 lumps. If I do both at once, one with right and one with left, I find equal and opposite "florets" and feel better.

@MrsWhites

Update - normal service is resuming so looks like I was just being an over dramatic miserable cow again 🙈

I think lockdown has a roll to play this week, I mean I understand why it’s necessary and I don’t disagree with it but it’s still bloody miserable to accept that this is life for the next few months. I’m hoping I adjust by next week and can be a bit more positive. But this has definitely played a part in my mental health this week. Sorry i’m hogging the board a bit today but it definitely helps to just type out how I feel sometimes!

Brilliant news!! I lost my periods due to extreme stress for 3 months and if I hadn't had the breast lump I would have been dying inside. My period arrived on the day of my scan I couldn't believe it!

@TheSilentStars

I'm yucky today too. Under ribs ache (but am waiting on gallbladder scan which I'm hoping and praying is what it is) and groin and hip ache. Probably from going for a long walk yesterday then sitting at the computer all day yesterday preparing work and all this morning doing live lessons. But of course I'm going to sit and Google nasties for an hour now. The only ones I don't think I've got are cervical, uterus and ovary because I had a smear and transvaginal scan in November. Convinced I've got everything else though. I try and tell myself how unlikely it would be to have bowel, stomach and breast C all at the same time but then end up going "ooooh but it will be one of them"

I like the cauliflower description very much. I try to do both my breasts at the same time because if I do one I find 20 lumps. If I do both at once, one with right and one with left, I find equal and opposite "florets" and feel better.

Oh no, hope you fe better. I get under rib twinges and in my lower breasts. Not sure what they are but I have focused anxiety on them before!

Thank you
I absolutely agree about lockdown too, but even more so, I can date this latest period of anxiety to the very day the kids went back to school in September. I think probably that it was the first time alone in the house for months literally...I'd planned on having a lovely "me" day and instead spiralled into anxiety about every part of my body.

@TheSilentStars I had a tough time adjusting to the kids going back to school too, I had too much time on my hands which anxiety was only too happy to fill!

@Skyliner001 It’s so strange because I’ve stressed all morning and no sign, kids were busy playing during a break in work and I sat down with my book to try and not stress as much. Cramping started about an hour later, could be a coincidence but when I stopped thinking about it so much it happened!

A little update on my day so far, I have only had one mad panic, I was idally poking the bottom of my boob (don't ask!) and thought I felt a lump, but it's a lumpy bit which is on both boobs at the same place. I had about five minutes of frantic examining…

But I haven't gone back to the place of my current obsession, so I don't feel too bad.

Other than that I have had a good day of non-poking. I've had several moments when I've really wanted to, but I haven't rewarded myself so to speak by going and poking and then the inevitable relaxing when I realise things haven't changed. I'm trying to break that bad habit.

Phew. Sending peaceful vibes to you all ✌️

@MrsWhites Hope you can relax a bit now! 😊

It's great when you find an equal and opposite thing on the other side isn't it?
I just did that in the shower with my lower back crunchy bits.

Hey ladies!! Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet recently. Eugh! Lockdown again!!! 😩 I’m trying soooooooo hard to keep myself busy and stop myself from checking my left breast!! I get random moments of urgency and panic where I feel like I need to quickly go and check, but I’m trying so hard not to as I know it’s a downward spiral from there.

Sons homeschooling is keeping me busy but I still have to fight the urge to check it’s soooooooo hard!! A real battle.

Hope you’re all doing ok, sorry to hear some of you have been suffering recently, lockdown, lack of structure, routine definitely doesn’t help.

Hi everyone, decided to go for hypnotherapy, starting the week after next! Think it will work and I will make sure I keep you all updated each week on the progress and if I think it’s worth it!

@MrsWhites I'm pleased it's arrived for you!

Glad to read how everyone is trying to avoid/limit compulsions. Does anyone else feel pain/heaviness/soreness/irritation etc in the part of their body their worried about? So like, when you're not thinking about it, everything is fine, but when you do, the soreness etc seems to kick in? I know it's psychological but just after some reassurance I guess

Well tomorrow marks the first weekend in the new lockdown - has anyone got anything indoors planned? I'm going to sort through clothes and make a pile for the charity shop

@MrsWhites Glad normal service has resumed for you! I know what you mean about lockdown, I think its playing a huge factor in my mental health as well.

@dillydallydollydaydream7 Yes!!! 1000% that is me, if I'm worried about one of my boobs it automatically feels heavy and like if I touch it I will feel something but if I'm not thinking about it then it doesn't feel anything at all!

I have no weekend plans other than cleaning in the hope it'll make baby arrive!!

Just a quick one to you all:

Can anyone else weirdly transfer their anxiety. So for example one area of concern on my breast was worrying me to the point of not being able to think straight, but now I've moved on. I'm back on lymph nodes. Couldn't care about that breast bit for now 😱

Is it that when logic wins and we suspect actually it's okay, our brain just say 'yes but what about...?'

Hi all! Many thanks for the new thread. I've been quiet for a few weeks as actually had a really good period where felt calm and not huge amounts of anxiety. Definitely helped having some time off work and keeping busy with Christmas and kids etc. However... panic has come back with a vengeance as have found a lump in left breast. Can't stop prodding it and feeling it in different positions, but definitely there, is hard and round/oval maybe 1-2cm in size and in area where most breast cancer is found (upper outer quadrant), seems to move a little bit but fairly solid... so that has sent me into a spiral. Know I'll need to get it checked but feel sick about it all. Going to wait until next week to see if it changes at all.

In the last year I've had a brain MRI, 24hr ECG, numerous blood tests, CT scan, ultrasound of pelvis, urine tests, colonoscopy and nothing serious has come up. But my brain is telling me otherwise Just so sick of it!

@Skyliner001yes definitely the same here with transferable anxiety. So weird how we can by dying of one thing one minute then move onto something else at the drop if a hat!

@tmh88good luck with the hypnotherapy! Deffo let us know how you get on.

@Lib3rtine keeping fingers crossed baby makes an appearance soon for you

Sending positive and calming vibes to all and hope we can switch off from the health anxiety intrusive thoughts over the weekend x

@Lib3rtine I am so pleased it isn't just me! It's crazy how quickly it manifests into a 'real' pain!

Ahhh you're expecting how lovely! Do you know what you're having?

@Skyliner001 yes! So when my health anxiety started it was because of my lymph node, after investigations it was said to be normal, so then I started with my breast. Then to test this theory I tried 'making' myself think about the lymph node again and sure enough I started to get the little pains back in it, realised it's easily transferable so went back to thinking about my boob. I wish I could focus it on something like thinking the length of my toes were abnormal or something, I could handle that!

@Skyliner001 absolutely. I can be absolute convinced something is wrong with me, until the next thing comes along as the first thing will be completely forgotten about. Eventually my brain will latch on to the first thing again or something completely different and the circle starts again.

@Lolly12 sorry you are struggling, that part of the breast is also a naturally lumpy part. Can you feel it with the flat of your fingers rather than just fingertips, I know I am guilty of prodding too deeply with finger tips which means you feel every little bump or ridge!

Sorry, I just need a rant.

There's a petition going round on my social media about furlough/SMP and the pandemic, so I stated a thread on here and shared it incase anyone hadn't seen it and specifically said asked people not to shoot the messenger as I was only sharing it. I didn't start the petition and it has sod all to do with me but as it was maternity related I thought I'd pop it here and even said at the start I didn't know if it was allowed and apologised to the moderators if it wasn't. Anyway some of the comments on it have really upped my anxiety. Some people on this forum are complete nasty little keyboard warriors. Why can't people just be polite :(

Does anyone know how you contact a moderator to take a thread down?

Never mind, found an email address to contact a moderator :)

I'm so pleased this thread is full of lovely people, not like some of the other ones

Oh gosh so glad it's just me with transferable anxiety!

@Lolly12 So sorry to hear about the new anxiety. Your lump sounds cyst like!!! Also most likely to occur in the upper outer quadrant!

@dillydallydollydaydream7 some people can be quite nasty on mumsnet, i’ve felt the same at times, don’t let them get to you. If all they have to do all day is send nasty comments online they need to get a life!

@Skyliner001 similar thing happens to me when I read something about breast checks etc, I can go from being totally fine about my boobs to sudden panic and it’s hard to describe but suddenly become very aware of them if that makes sense. It’s usually always my left breast that is the focus of my anxiety too!

@dillydallydollydaydream7 I only really look at this thread because I find the others can be really quite nasty, I stick to this one because everyone is so nice on it!

I broke this morning and poked at my lymph nodes mine seem to change in size throughout the day does anyone else’s?

@MrsWhites Yes can still feel it with flats of fingers, but feels different everytime i have a prod! Now it's sore and achey too.. Gahh!

Thanks @Skyliner001yes - have been doing the stupid maniacal googling of breast lumps and couple be cyst, or fibroadenoma, or something sinister. I know i won't be able to stop obsessing over it until it's checked, but really last thing i want to do.

@dillydallydollydaydream7 - sorry you've had some horrible people reply on your other thread. It's not you it's them. Some people clearly have too much time on their hands!

@Lolly12 here will be my first port of call after every hypno session telling you all whether to do it or not!

@Lolly12 it could easily be a fibroadenoma or a cyst or a harmless weird shaped bit of breast tissue. Try not to worry. It might go down depending on your point in your cycle. I’m sure you check your breasts loads like the rest of us, I can’t imagine anything sinister would just appear from nowhere so likely just something that’s always been there but is bigger because of hormones. Easier said that done but try not to poke and make it sore and see if you can still feel it next week. Plus from your description it sounds smooth which i’m told is a good sign! x