Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

Also does anyone else struggle with globus hystericus? Any tips for settling it?
It's driving me up the wall!

Hi All,
Hope everyone is ok and coping with the new restrictions and thought of more lockdowns.
I’m still tying myself in knots about everything, and I feel like every time I look at the news someone has died of some illness I’ve questioned or the Covid numbers are there staring me in the face.......it makes me so nervous and I can feel myself all tightening up just reading it.
I’m glad schools have remained closed if they’d opened that’d have tipped me over the edge.
This is so new to me but I feel now like just being able to know when the anxiety is peaking helps me to deal with it slightly better just knowing I can get through it and I’m not actually dying that very second helps ( as ridiculous as that sounds) .
I really do hope you are all ok and managing with your day xxx

Hi everyone, I’ve been quiet past couple of days, busy at work trying to get sorted as my mat leave starts in less than two weeks!!
I was quite proud of myself this month, I got my monthly text message reminder to check my boobs which always fills me with dread but I took a deep breath and did it how you’re meant to do it and didn’t prod and poke until they were sore so I’m determined now to leave them alone until next month!

Evening all. Day 6 of the sertraline and side effects are getting better.
I’m still quite anxious but it’s early days.

@Lib3rtine I need your determination! This is what my anxiety is around at the minute. I've prodded and poked that much the last few days they're really sore and tender

@Ethellsmum glad side effects are getting better, keep us updated how it goes for you

@dillydallydollydaydream7 that’s what I usually do so I’m really hoping I can now leave them for another month

Does anyone take sleeping tablets? I might have to take one tonight as I am just not doing well. Sitting here in tears and my stomach has that anxious feeling in it.
I hate the sleeping pills though, I hate the way they make me feel sort of groggy the next day and they leave a bit of an after taste in my mouth but I need sleep to make me feel like I can deal with things.

Also a lot of the time I sort of give out to myself, telling myself I am too old to be feeling like this and sort myself out, even though I wouldn't think that of anyone else.

[quote dillydallydollydaydream7]@Lib3rtine I need your determination! This is what my anxiety is around at the minute. I've prodded and poked that much the last few days they're really sore and tender[/quote]
This is me! You are but Aline. Does anyone else check and then almost go back straight away to recheck? Like an OCD

Not Alone, not but Aline!

@Skyliner001 yes!!!! Oh I'm so pleased it isn't just me! I check every payday so I remember to do it. Have had 3 trips to the breast clinic in the last 18 months, and had to ring the GP today because I had a small amount of blood coming from my nipple (not the hole, but next to it if that makes sense?) she's prescribed me cream, said she can see from my notes from my last clinic visit in August that everything was fine and he reassured me, said she isn't sure why there's bleeding but as there aren't any lumps that I can feel and there's no cracking, to try cream for 5 days and if that doesn't work ring her next week and she'll refer me. I mentioned my nipples having bumps on them still but she said as I'm 8 weeks pp that's why and it's normal because of the hormones.

Was a reassured? Yes. For all of five minute, then went back to prodding and poking again! DH suggested it could have been from knocking it, or from squeezing and poking around.

Had 2 lots of the cream on (twice daily), had no more bleeding, and here I am wide awake. I've prodded about again for the millionth time and now I'm really trying to just stop. In my head, if I leave them alone for the next 5 days before I have to recheck and ring the GP back if needed, it'll give them chance to settle down.

I should have learned from when I was obsessing over a lymph node - i prodded and pressed it that much that I used to get shooting pains through it and it was really swollen. An ultrasound showed that it was normal so the pin was literally from me not keeping my hands off it!

[quote dillydallydollydaydream7]@Skyliner001 yes!!!! Oh I'm so pleased it isn't just me! I check every payday so I remember to do it. Have had 3 trips to the breast clinic in the last 18 months, and had to ring the GP today because I had a small amount of blood coming from my nipple (not the hole, but next to it if that makes sense?) she's prescribed me cream, said she can see from my notes from my last clinic visit in August that everything was fine and he reassured me, said she isn't sure why there's bleeding but as there aren't any lumps that I can feel and there's no cracking, to try cream for 5 days and if that doesn't work ring her next week and she'll refer me. I mentioned my nipples having bumps on them still but she said as I'm 8 weeks pp that's why and it's normal because of the hormones.

Was a reassured? Yes. For all of five minute, then went back to prodding and poking again! DH suggested it could have been from knocking it, or from squeezing and poking around.

Had 2 lots of the cream on (twice daily), had no more bleeding, and here I am wide awake. I've prodded about again for the millionth time and now I'm really trying to just stop. In my head, if I leave them alone for the next 5 days before I have to recheck and ring the GP back if needed, it'll give them chance to settle down.

I should have learned from when I was obsessing over a lymph node - i prodded and pressed it that much that I used to get shooting pains through it and it was really swollen. An ultrasound showed that it was normal so the pin was literally from me not keeping my hands off it! [/quote]
I am so pleased it is Not just me!sometimes when I check things I can defuse the bad feeling with a palpable sense of relief. Then I just feel I need to check again. I am determined today not to check until maybe later on. I am approaching approximately 30 to 40 checks a day. I have made myself tender!

By the way I have a slightly swollen lymph node just now, the doctor told me about it when I had my last breast exam after the cyst was drained. It freaked me out for two weeks, but now I have left it completely. It is approximately 1 cm.

I have had lymphoma, and so logically knew that it wasn't that. I've also had a cold

Over the last three weeks I have worried about Leukaemia, as my dog jumped on me and made a batch of small bruises. Various different throat cancers relating to the lymph-node. And the breast cancer. Also some bones in my lower back, and perhaps the most crazily a small pimple in my cleavage, which I scratched so much that it stayed for a for two days, even as I was scratching it I was telling myself if this gets really bad and doesn't go away you need to remember you scratched it, it has now gone. But I was genuinely shaking with worry.

I also felt some neckbones, and spent an entire evening in distress thinking they were lumps. Even though they were clearly bone.

Hello everyone. Hope everyone is as OK as we ever are. I've been good recently until yesterday and convinced myself the lower right twinges are most likely my ancient hip rather than nasty abdo stuff. Then yesterday evening got burpy so was back panicking about abdominal issues. Sigh.

Just had another feel. I'll check back in later and let you know how many I've done. Hope you all don't mind me jumping on thread. Been feeling alone and like I've been going mad

@TheSilentStars

Hello everyone. Hope everyone is as OK as we ever are. I've been good recently until yesterday and convinced myself the lower right twinges are most likely my ancient hip rather than nasty abdo stuff. Then yesterday evening got burpy so was back panicking about abdominal issues. Sigh.

Have also had burp anxiety. Which I think I attributed to some kind of stomach cancer

Yep. Stomach, bowel, ovary. The lot.
Not of course that I'd had a two day migraine that I take strong pills for which irritate your stomach!

Hello everyone and a belated happy new year.

I definitely relate to the repeated checking. For me I think it was almost an addiction; I realised I was seeking the fleeting reassurance I felt when I realised that everything was OK, that the lump was normal, that folliculitis was way more likely than anything else, that the pain was a bruise or indigestion.

I managed to wean myself off visits to the GP a fact for which my GP is, I'm sure, eternally grateful but when I was going, I think that was the same thing.

Morning everyone. How is lockdown treating you all?

@Lib3rtine that’s brilliant that you managed your checks without obsessing! You are doing well to still be working this late in your pregnancy, I hope work isn’t too stressful for you getting ready to finish.

@PeachScone this group has really helped me, just from understanding that I am not alone in feeling this way! My anxieties are usually always cancer related too.

@Ethellsmum brilliant that you are trying medication and are seeing the side effects improve, I believe they can cause more anxiety before they start to improve things.

@dillydallydollydaydream7 I’m not surprised bleeding made you anxious, sounds like the doctor got it right with the cream though if it’s already improved. I know it’s very hard to believe that though.

As usual I’m stressing about my periods, it’s due tomorrow and since yesterday I’ve had a few tiny blood streaks in discharge when wiping. The logical part of my brain knows this has happened similarly before and just after my period so I know it’s period related but will my anxiety believe that...nope, tying myself up in knots, praying for my period every time I go to the toilet! 😡

That sounds like my period you! It's amazing how many of these things are normal, but they just aren't the type of thing you discuss, so you never know!

I was reading an article today about how to overcome obsessive compulsions. One of them is delaying, but the other one that I found interesting was fining. So whenever I have an urge to check today I am forcing myself to clean something. So far I had to clean the sink, I clean it for one minute. And then I will increase that by a minute for each time I want to check. I'm not sure if it's going to work… But it seems to be so far...

@Skyliner001 Oh bless you no wonder you were worried! Sorry to hear you've had lymphoma before, I trust you're fighting fit now?

That's the thing - the rational part of you knows what you're doing, but in the moment the irrational part takes over. I sometimes wish that we could have full body MOTs from an early age just to check everything over

@MrsWhites Ah wait until it shows and it's in full swing and you'll be wishing it away again! Like @Skyliner001 has said, she and others get like that when they're due on. Have you got any of signs of it coming on?

Third application of cream went on this morning - no bleeding, no pains, nothing. Of course I've prodded it again, wish I could just leave it alone.

First lockdown I was pregnant so wfh, this time I'm on maternity so nothings really changed. DH works in construction so he's still working. We're in a childcare bubble with my parents. I wish there was an end to all this soon so we can go back to normal. How's lockdown treating you?

@TheSilentStars sorry, I missed that you had lymphoma in the past. No wonder you have anxiety about cancers then!

Thank you @Skyliner001 and @dillydallydollydaydream7. I do have signs that period is coming, bowel changes and yesterday a few cramps so I know it’s that but doesn’t stop me stressing. It’s literally so small amounts that a normal person probably wouldn’t notice....normal people probably don’t look at the tissue every time they wipe 🙈

I must admit home schooling is not my favourite thing today! 🤯

Hi everyone. I am terrible with checking that is why I'm determined to not do it as I can relate to the fleeting feeling of reassurance it gives but then to suddenly think I missed something!
I have noticed that as soon as I feel any sort of anxiety, even a little bit of work stress I automatically go to prod and poke by breasts and I've not idea why!

@Skyliner001 that sounds like a good thing to try with the cleaning, I think things like that really make you realise what you're doing and how often you go to seek reassurance. Sorry to hear about your lymphoma, I hope you are now 100% well and its all in the past. Lymph nodes are one of the things that panic me every so often as I can feel mine under my arms and in my groin if I poke hard enough due to being quite slim. I've always been able to feel them but if I'm feeling extra anxious I start worrying whereas if I'm feeling ok I don't give it a second thought! x

@MrsWhites I am 38 weeks today so praying it happens any time soon! I think I would have finished if I'd been going into the office as I have a train journey then a 30 minute walk but working from home I felt I may as well work as long as possible.
That will 100% be your period, mine were always like that and very stop and start sometimes so please don't worry x

@dillydallydollydaydream7 I'm hoping it lasts and I don't revert to type! nipples are really sensitive so you could have just rubbed it and its bled a bit, its definitely happened to me before so you don't have anything to worry about, I'm sure the cream will work and your doctor is right x

[quote MrsWhites]@TheSilentStars sorry, I missed that you had lymphoma in the past. No wonder you have anxiety about cancers then!

Thank you @Skyliner001 and @dillydallydollydaydream7. I do have signs that period is coming, bowel changes and yesterday a few cramps so I know it’s that but doesn’t stop me stressing. It’s literally so small amounts that a normal person probably wouldn’t notice....normal people probably don’t look at the tissue every time they wipe 🙈

I must admit home schooling is not my favourite thing today! 🤯[/quote]
Not me MrsW, I think it's @Skyliner001

I've just been for my 30 minute walk with DD which always makes me feel better because I know my ancient bones will ache this afternoon. I like it when my aches are muscular and bones. It's when its internal organs I panic.

Agree about blood being a trigger too. I'm post menopause but have the odd piles bleed which rationally I know comes from harsh wiping and not enough fruit and irrationally gives me something else to Google!