Parents of anxious kids/teens support thread(part three)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Filling up a second thread,here's a new one to keep that support running!

This thread is a supportive,non judgemental space for those who have anxious children,or care for children with anxiety

You can pop in and just offload,or stick with us and share ideas etc

Caring for an anxious child can feel like it dominates your existence and drains every last drop of energy you have,and the sadness of watching your child's distress can be overwhelming.only those who have lived it truly understand that

We also love to hear successes.it can be hard in real life sharing something you are proud of your child achieving if others do it as standard.we get that and it's good to have somewhere where people are pleased for those little wins

You are no longer alone

balloons dad's input is unreliable.i have no one to help.no one who id class a friend I'd turn to in time crisis.dd1 helps with big shopping etc.its too much to expect dump things on her
I want her on 25 a week then every other day for couple doses and off
Let her calibrate and start thinking again in new year what to do next

zoo At least you tried, you never know how anyone will react to meds until they try them. I’m sorry you don’t have any support for yourself, you’re amazing to keep dealing with all of this yourself.
At least there will be a break from the stress of school soon, that might give everyone time to relax a little bit. It’s so sad that the education system has become so stressful, there is so much pressure on this generation of kids and parents!
I really hope you can find some time for yourself, if you can try and do something just for you today, give yourself a break if you can. It’s really worrying that you were in so much pain doing the shopping.

Oh Zoo, I hope you managed to speak to the GP & CAMHS. You must rest and look after yourself, you can't carry on as you are and hold up struggling DC too. Can you speak to the GP about the reflux?

Balloons, by mid to late teens meds are DC's choice unless they lack capacity - a fairly high bar. Hopefully never needed, but if DS1 ever goes off like he did previously ring the police & crisis team. Many forces have MH crews with a MH nurse or specially trained paramedic. They aren't paed trained but were brilliant with DS1 earlier this year.

DS1 went in yesterday morning, discharged this morning to finish IVs at home. Hurrah.

Thanks 1skip ds1s Support worker at the time was a MH nurse & did nothing. He hasn’t gone cycling in the night since then. He only did this while on medication. I told CAHMS, as he started this when on the Sertraline and they said it was good he was getting exercise! Prior to turning 18, CAHMS wouldn’t prescribe anything unless I agreed and signed a consent form. Once he turned 18, it was his choice but I had to deal with all of the side effects.
I’m so glad your ds is out of hospital, that must a big relief.

zoo how are you today? Did you manage to get a GP appointment? I hope you manage to get a break on the weekend.

Skip - sorry to hear about DS, but how lovely to have dd home. Stay strong x

Zoo - give dd the choice about what to do with the meds. Its her body ultimately. My dd has tried both sertraline and fluoxetine. And decided to come off both because of how they made her feel. I was pushing for her to stay on them but actually her mood was better off them. She has more meltdowns - basically more highs and more lows, but she feels more herself. We are considering an anti-psychotic at the moment the camhs psychiatrist is very reluctant as it would be off license. Anyway, my point is, try and give dd some sense of control in the process if this is at all possible. And look after yourself.

I am happy with how the CPA meeting went. I have called the County Send department and asked for an urgent review as dd is verging in full school refusal. And I will submit the ehcna in the next week or so.
School have secured a 121 for the next two terms and it is the one dd currently has so she is thrilled. I think it will make a difference. It is costing a bomb - think double the school fees - and we are lucky we have this option.
skip - she does have OT. She goes every week and has done since February. The only therapist she has truly engaged with. She has helped a lot with regulation. Really I think dd needs SALT as she can be selective mute at times (not diagnosed) only talking through me, ELSA, OT, EMDR and a proper EP review. Hopefully this will all come out in the ehcp assessment? Or should I not hold my breath?

I have bought some self help books and am encouraging her heavily on self care/wellbeing Anne in hope it'll help her even off then we will be best placed over decisions for meds.as not at school currently,nor able manage any online learning she's time on her hands and she's now implementing a good morning routine

Receptionist wasn't helpful,claiming my aneamia will be responsible,why aren't you taking themanyway she refused triage (whom when I asked who it was is part of the new practice they took over and was useless with dd2.only doc app avail 22with another their docs whom both myself and two my girls had issues with
I don't have the fight left in me to argue it.i find it exceptionally hard to ask for help so I can't deal that kind of interaction again anytime soon as I was in tears after and it impacts my care of DC too much.
Carefully researching best ways support aneamia without iron pillsand slow approach try work on my terrible gut.hopefully that'll help along stretching and a rest every day.i have no other answers

Zoo the self care routine sounds good.

DD has just asked to go out for a walk. The first time since she climbed on top of the railway bridge. I said no and she's now annoyed that she has no freedom. I realise we will have to let her out eventually. I mean she is 16. But I am so scared she will try it again. The meds haven't kicked in yet as we are only 2 weeks in. School pressure is off a bit as her timetable has been reduced. But in reality nothing has changed much apart she is sleeping better in the melatonin. Therefore I am reluctant to trust her. But I don't want her getting stressed because she has no freedom but I also don't want her killing her self.
She understands why I said no and I talked that it was something we all need to work towards. She told me if she knew it'd be like this she would have jumped. DH says that's a teenage comment designed to hurt me. Well it did.

Zoo - its important to look after yourself. You have told me this enough times.

Five more minutes - I can imagine thus is really scary. As an outsider I can only observe that perhaps finding a way to enable a feeling of freedom in a managed way is probably the answer. So....freedom with set parameters so you both feel reassured. Good luck

Anne The LA must seek advice from:

"a) the child's parents or the young person;
b) educational advice (usually from the head teacher or principle);
c) medical advice and information from a health care professional;
d) psychological advice and information from an educational psychologist;
e) advice and information in relation to social care;
f) advice and information from any other person the local authority thinks appropriate;
g) where the child or young person is in or beyond year 9, advice and information in relation to provision to assist the child or young person in preparation for adulthood and independent living; and
h) advice and information from any person the child's parent or young person reasonably requests that the local authority seek advice from."
SEN regs 6(1)

H includes OT (including sensory assessment), SALT, CP &/or psychiatrist. ELSA isn't assessed separately but included by others. Once the LA agree (or not!) to assess (they have 6 weeks from your request) request, in writing, any assessments you want.

EMDR won't be part of the NA but should be in the psych's advice. I am unsure whether it would be classed as educational provision (i.e. in section F, thus LA's responsibility, appealable and enforceable) or health provision (in section G). I have previously discussed this with others but no one was sure, I didn't pursue it further because DS1 currently can't engage with it. Anything that "trains or educates" should be in F - includes SALT, OT, CBT etc. but doesn't include general psych appts.

Be careful with the LA SEND team. They will tell you what they want you to know and their version on the law, even if incorrect. Their aim is to save £££.

Zoo are you vegetarian? If you aren't, animal products are the best way of increasing dietary iron.

Five I agree with Anne to gradually allowing more freedom in a controlled manner.

Yesterday was one of those days. I hoped today would be better but it hasn't been. DS1 has cried at the drop of a hat all weekend, barely slept last night and whinged every meal/snack/medication/treatment...

skip my diets dreadful as years of putting DC first I've skipped meals and if my anxiety bad I lose appetite/eat "safe foods"(bread).reached point I can't eat a lot of stuff as causes IBS symptoms.i need attempt sort myself outwhich involves extremely slow adding if tiny amounts other foods over long period to build up tolerance (and thus time stick to it)

Was D's birthday yesterday his dad decided travel covid hotspot to get hair doneso I'm uncomfortable with that added to multi house occupancy and working in care about him coming into my home as last thing we need would be him bringing covid in.i suggested a walk with dc.lots him attempt change plan suit him better.i refused and in end he turned up to walk.kids were quiet on return.he spent the walk bitching about me as I'd had a go at him for spending a lot on D'sand much much less on girls before declaring no money left.leaving youngest with some clothes she had asked for..he then text me saying given dd2 my credit card buy rest what they wanted and you can pay me back.erm no.ive ordered last stuff I intended to Thursday and told girls anything desperate for can have in new year.for D's it really mad him sad dad was saying "mean things about mum".
I bought all his birthday giftsand he spent large chunk of the day helping me build a mini wooden steam punk airship which he loves.he also has been absorbing new guineas book of records!

How's everyone doing?are we ready for Xmas
Are DC doing ok now holidays have started or are the stressing over Xmas?
Dd2 has very last dose sertraline in few hours.shes borderline nervous wreck.hope that evens out a bit....

Sorry for the whinging essay

Whinge away. DP is worse than the DC! I hope calm has been retired after he wound them up. It must be hard for the girls to see DP favour DS. Happy belated birthday MiniZoo. How is DD2 now she has been off ADs a couple of days?

We had a few calm days, then DS1 had a CAMHS appt yesterday that stressed him out, followed by a review at the hospital. Even an early present of a Lego set from the hospital didn't prevent him tipping in to a meltdown. Last night was a long night.

skip her anxiety has become a major problem-reflix is unmanageable

Schools deal with track and trace for pupils. The advice they are given from DfE seems to vary, although I would imagine school would have been in contact already if DD3 would be advised to isolate.

Sorry things are still stressful. Do CAMHS have a plan for after Christmas for DD2? What does she take for reflux, can you ask for a review?

Place marking, and saying hello.

I don't know where to start but need to revisit this thread when I have some quiet time.

Welcome Planning.

Post as little or as much as you want - sometimes it helps to let it out. Don't feel you have to read the thread if you can't/don't want to, jump in where we are.

planning welcome
Skip Prozac next(starting January)
She takes lansaprazole and gaviscon advance for reflux,plus buscopan forgot pain

There are other medications DD2 could try, such as switching the Lansoprazole for a different PPI. Sometimes one works better than another. Or adding in a H2 antagonist. DS2&3 take Omeprazole and DS1 Esomeprazole and Cimetidine (not licensed for children but used since Ranitidine was wirthdrawn).

How's everyone coping with festive anxiety?

Hi everyone
We had a lovely Christmas day. The days around have been a bit turbulent. Anxious about going back to school already.

Hi all,
Holidays have been good apart from Xmas day when DD went a bit low. I think it was all the expectation of what the day would be like vs the reality. She also had an anxious moment in the evening and struggles to talk. That was quite scary. I hope that's not a new thing.

Apart from that we've been ok. She says her depression is better but her anxiety is quite high. Thou go ta is school and nicks must be in her head and wondering if they'll even be going back.

I hope you're all having good break with your kids.

... thoughts of school and mocks...

Hello everyone, I used to post here. I have a DD1 who is 14 now, awaiting ASD assessment. She’s actually doing ok. She decided earlier this year to lose weight (she was too end of healthy BMI, I am overweight) and her chosen method of was starvation. She lost 2 stone in 2 months. Periods stopped. She still has starvation days abs eating days. We went to the GP - completely useless. She’s still just inside a normal BMI so no one will help. Despite her tiny BMI she think she needs to be thinner but I am able to keep her at this just-about-healthy weight. I realise I am on my own with this.

Apart from the eating she is actually doing really well. I posted before about how horrible she could be but recently not really so much at all. She still ha e epic meltdowns and needs her lists and plans and hates mess, but since she became 14 she’s turned so much nicer.

My main problem currently is the 12 year old! But that’s for another time!

Thank you

Hi bigbus.lovely to hear from you again
Have you tried contacting BEAT or school nurse?lil zoo has "disordered eating"(refuses to eat/drink on school days in case needs loo)and her diet has become very limited....
You know you are more than welcome to talk about your 12 year old