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Original poster

To think is this it?

224 replies

Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 22:46

I go to work. I come home.

Then I go to work and come home.

Five days a week. Then weekends I sit.

No money to do anything, nothing I really want to do anyway. No one to do it with.

Sometimes I feel like even in jail I might have people to talk to.

OP posts:
stillvicarinatutu · 21/02/2018 00:48

Where about a in country are you op? I always need more pals and would be very happy to meet up for a coffee or vino. I'm in a right mess in life and seriously you cannot have fucked up like I have..... I could make you feel better about yourself I'm sure! Smile where are you?

WashingMatilda · 21/02/2018 00:53

OP have you ever called MIND? They also offer support and signposting if you're feeling low;

0300 123 3393

GUMBYMUMBY · 21/02/2018 01:11

Gosh you are neg. Not sure if the post is for real.

DreamyMcDreamy · 21/02/2018 01:33

I know someone like this. Goes to work, comes home, doesn't do anything else. We're the only people who she'll go out with, which obviously we like doing, but we can't be doing it all the time as we have other commitments and things to do as well.
She'll always say how lonely she is if we do decide to actually do something just for ourselves on occasion for example....
Says she lives for work and there's not much point to anything else and has said in the past there's not much point to anything else, and even said at one point well might as well be dead.
Absolutely flat out refuses to do anything about it though. Refuses to go to the doctors even though it's clear she needs to, says nothing's wrong, and says there's nothing else to do, there's no point volunteering, or going to a club..... won't entertain the idea of going out there and just trying anything.
Sorry OP, it sucks but your mindset is a powerful thing.It can either suck you down or you can give it a mental kick and make gentle changes or you're just going to stay the same.

pallisers · 21/02/2018 02:19

When was the last time you laughed? Are there any tv programmes you find amusing?

I think this is a great question.

OP do you find anything amusing? Any books or tv programmes or films?

My sister's BIL has lived alone and not worked (living on assets) since he was 40. He is now 60. Limited social contact living a limited life but he is happy. He loves reading and books. Lovely to chat to. Does anything make you happy or make you laugh??

ChocolateCoveredPringle · 21/02/2018 07:22

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 07:31

Chocolate

The problem is I have tried pretty much everything that is being suggested.

I really wish I could say ooh, yes, that’s a great idea, and ten years ago I would. But I’ve tried and it hasn’t worked.

So - here I am. If you don’t like it, sorry. Neither do I.

OP posts:
ChocolateCoveredPringle · 21/02/2018 07:33

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 07:36

Thank you. I have tried doing something about it and now I no longer bother as I really feel there is nothing more to be done.

I have been very clear that I didn’t expect anything from this thread. If you have read it and have somehow not picked up on that I am sorry but it hasn’t come from me.

OP posts:
ChocolateCoveredPringle · 21/02/2018 07:38

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 07:49

I am very pathetic, chocolate, and I don’t think it was about attention seeking. I was in a low spot last night and I wanted to ‘talk’ to people.

This morning I do have to get to work.

Have a good day.

OP posts:
MadMags · 21/02/2018 07:51

OP, tell you what - since you’re on here anyway, try engaging in the threads on chat etc. or about your favourite tv shows.

Don’t get into anything negative. Just...chat.

Are there any shows that have a big fan base online that you could get involved in chatting about?

user1473069303 · 21/02/2018 07:53

If you think you are depressed, please consider going back to your GP for a change of medication or dosage. There's no one size fits all antidepressant. I've been depressed in the past. I remember crying myself to sleep praying for something to put me out of my misery. My life was good, there was no reason, but that dark grip on the mind is so powerful. Try to address that and you'll have more energy to change your life for the better.

ChocolateCoveredPringle · 21/02/2018 07:54

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Lovemusic33 · 21/02/2018 07:59

I find lots of things to do on my own that don’t cost much money. I walk a lot (you can go on borrowmydoggy and walk someone’s dog), I do photography, I run, I go to the gym and I swim. Most of these are done on my own. In the winter I do diy on my house to make it a bit nicer as I’m here alone a lot. In the summer I run along the beach early in the morning, explore new places (walking). I enjoy my free time and being alone but would love to meet someone, I do have 2 dc’s but they are teens and don’t want to go out with me as much now.

PastaBakeForever · 21/02/2018 08:02

I know you say you have tried volunteering, but there are so many different types. Try something completely different from anything you've ever done before, like volunteering as a National Trust guide/gardener even if you know nothing about it?

I think you need to go back to your gp and keep trying with counselling or anti depressants.. It must be very hard being alone but there are people in the world who are just as alone who don't feel as miserable as you do

Sleepyduvetday · 21/02/2018 08:09

Chocolate why are you so vicious and nasty?

Op is clearly very likely very depressed. Did you expect her to jump up and say "oh yes, volunteering, I'd never thought of that, I'll do it know".

Have you ever been clinically depressed chocolate? It's an illness, you don't just snap out of it. Op feels she's tried all the suggestions, and she still hasn't felt better.

Why do you want to kick someone when they're down?

Maybe op just needed to reach out and speak to other humans last night.

You have no idea what type of illness this person might be suffering from, or what kind of life they've had, but they've pretty much said they feel suicidal, and your response is to call them pathetic?

Vile.

BaldricksTrousers · 21/02/2018 08:12

People think I have a fairly interesting life but it's just all been a result of getting out there and doing something, thereby meeting the right people. I do medieval swordfighting one evening a week with a club (I didn't even know it existed a year ago), swim several times a week, run a regular death cafe which is fun, meaningful, and costs me hardly anything. Ive just started a new, very part time job in the local museum which is so easy it doesn't feel like work, and I've already met loads of nice and interesting people there.
I'm at the library a lot, reading anything that I can about subjects I find interesting. There are loads of clubs and events at our library. Maybe that's an option?
I also am very interested in historic churches and cemeteries, which apart from transport are usually free to tour. Perhaps you could cultivate an interest in something ??? There must be a spark of enjoyment in some subject.

JellyBeanPaws · 21/02/2018 08:15

This thread is entirely self-defeating. Is OP doesn’t want help, why post this here? I’m sure you have worried a few of us now with no chance of a positive outcome as you don’t want to change, apparently.

Things can change, but it won’t just bloody happen for you.

I was a lonely, deadbeat alcoholic for years. Worked and drank, work and drank.

But I made the change, I swallowed my fucking pride - I am a mother to a beautiful child and loved a wife now with a valued small group of friends.

Maybe you can’t find any correlation in our stories, maybe you can. Maybe you don’t want to.

Be the change, not the fucking problem.

MaudesMum · 21/02/2018 08:17

First of all, there are lots of different types of volunteering: there should be a volunteer bureau or similar nearby or the library should have lists and notices. So, it might be worth spending time looking for something that fits you. I help out in a local arts centre, for example, which involves sitting in a gallery for a few hours, talking to people who come in (if they want talking to) and keeping an eye on the art. So, it doesn't have to be incredibly social or outdoors or whatever you don't like. And you can usually do a session or two and dip out if you don't like it. The benefit is that it is free and it will also add something to your routine. Secondly, I'd endorse what someone suggests earlier - making a baby step towards change on a regular basis. If once a day is too much try once a week. It could be something as small as finding a free nature walk in the library and committing to go on it, or buying some nail varnish from a pound shop and painting your toes... Every time you do something write it down so that you can look back over several months. And finally, consider whether moving might help. Are you living in the sort of flat/house where you don't run into neighbours, or are your neighbours not very nice? Or have you and they been around for so long that you're locked into patterns of not communicating? When I moved a few years ago I chose a terrace which was described as having a strong sense of community, and which is also laid out so that it is almost impossible to avoid talking to your neighbours (yards that overlook each other, a cul de sac that children bike up and down, a small community garden). Part of me (introvert) finds that quite scary, but the rest of me realises it means it is actually quite hard to avoid saying hello and having a brief chat. So, I very rarely have a weekend (especially in the summer) where I don't have a chat with someone, even if its just about the weather.

Sleepyduvetday · 21/02/2018 08:19

Jellybean but can you remember just how you felt on one of your worst days? Would you have taken advice on board there and then?

CupOfJoe · 21/02/2018 08:21

.

To think is this it?
Lovemusic33 · 21/02/2018 08:21

It’s very easy to sink into depression and then not feel able to try new things, I had to force myself out of the house and to begin with it was hard, there were times I drove to places and then felt I couldn’t cope and had to force myself to get out the car, I’m pleased I did because if I sat at home all day I would have felt worse (like I wasted a day doinging nothing).

Like Bandrick I visit old building, churches and cathedrals, places that have history, I also go to nature reserves, I bump into people, talk to people and enjoy just being on my own. There’s times when I have sat in a cafe with tea and cake alone and watched couples arguing and thought ‘thank god im single’ Grin

There really is lots of things you can do to keep yourself busy and happy but you do need to force yourself to try things (it feels easier to stay at home and sit).

Locotion · 21/02/2018 08:22

OP sorry some people are being impatient and telling you off. Its because they havnt been where you have, but lots of us have.

I would urge you to go to the GP. Again. Ask for referral to CMHT. I have just been signposted/referred to a few groups and it ia giving me hooe that maybe , just maybe, things Will improve.

I hope that you manage to see some light soon. Im sorr you feel so hopeless. It is truly horrible. Baby steps. Where in the country are you?

Sleepyduvetday · 21/02/2018 08:25

I second going back to the GP, it hasn't worked before, that doesn't mean it won't next time.

Mental health services are changing all the time, you might have had the wrong type before.

It's a tiny step towards making your life more comfortable.

If you were in chronic pain, you wouldn't refuse to try a different painkiller because the last one didn't work.