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Original poster

To think is this it?

224 replies

Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 22:46

I go to work. I come home.

Then I go to work and come home.

Five days a week. Then weekends I sit.

No money to do anything, nothing I really want to do anyway. No one to do it with.

Sometimes I feel like even in jail I might have people to talk to.

OP posts:
TillyMint81 · 20/02/2018 23:54

Hi, I have to say I'm worried about you random stranger on the Internet.
A lot of what you say sounds similar to me except I have the husband and kids thing to keep me pushing on. Recently things came to a head and I did seek counselling on the nhs not really believing it would help. I did seven sessions and it's changed so much of my outlook. Stuff that I thought was 'just the way I am' was made obvious that I was depressed and pretty seriously too. I don't take any medication as counselling was enough.
If nothing changes nothing changes. Which might seem trite but it's true.
You may have to step out of your comfort zone but it may be the best thing you do.
As far as socialising goes I was told to say 'I'll come for an hour' it made the pressure so much less and I often stay longer once I'm there and enjoying it. Xx

Sleepyduvetday · 20/02/2018 23:54

Well op you've got more going for you than some of the hateful pricks on here, so that's a start.

Op you're not the only person to feel like this, lots of people feel that they just exist, even people whose lives seem fantastic on the outside.

Saturnday · 20/02/2018 23:55

You could look into volunteering? In helping others we often find our self worth. You will be important to others, try volunteering in a homeless shelter, an animal shelter, a food bank? Do somethhing for others with your time on this earth even if you won’t do it for yourself. And you might be surprised how much better it makes you feel Smile

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:55

I just hate socialising.

I am asked questions I can’t answer.

I can't do counselling. I don’t think it’s something that works.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:56

I did try volunteering you see. But it upset me and made me feel bad. And it was hard finding the time, which might sound weird but it’s a job.

OP posts:
OhForFrigSake · 20/02/2018 23:56

And whilst you say you have few friendships and meaningful relationships, it's nearly midnight and I and others on this thread are posting on a message board to try and cheer up a complete stranger. If that doesn't demonstrate that there's a life worth living out there, I don't know what does.

TillyMint81 · 20/02/2018 23:57

You can do it. I didn't think it would work on some mega deep seated stuff of mine but it did.

wafflyversatile · 20/02/2018 23:57

Many people go through periods of depression in their lives, often situational. Some people have multiple periods of depression or low mood while having other periods where they feel positive and enthused by life, even though their life maybe isn't materially different at these different times. Other people have a constant struggle with depression.

Maybe you are going through a depressive phase and because you are in this phase you can't remember better times.

Maybe you are someone for whom depression is a constant companion sidling back and forth between background and foreground.

I am sorry that you are suffering.

You don't seem to be saying that you are considering suicide or at immediate risk but if you are please seek emergency help. The samaritans or your local A & E.

It is hard to do anything at all when you feel like this but maybe there is something you can try even if it seems pointless just now.

Can you reach out to one friend and let them know how you feel? Maybe ask them to make a gp appointment and accompany you? Maybe you can make a gp appointment? Maybe email your gp and tell them how you feel? Do you have family? Maybe phone the samaritans or send an email to the charity MIND? Just because one AD didn't work doesn't mean nothing will work. Is there anything at all you can think of that could make you feel more positive?

What would your ideal life look like?

coconutlimesmoosh · 20/02/2018 23:58

And it was hard finding the time

Weekends and evenings you say you just "sit". How hard could it be to find the time?

Sleepyduvetday · 20/02/2018 23:59

Do you like your job op? What do you do?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:59

Oh my friends wouldn’t come to the gp with me, it’s not that sort of friendship. Plus I really don’t think th gp can help. I’m not sure anything can be done.

It’s helped talking about it but people will think I’m being rude and I’m not, I’m just that hopeless.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 00:00

Coconut because sometimes it’s anti socisl hours and I have to be up the next day.

OP posts:
coconutlimesmoosh · 21/02/2018 00:01

There are lots of types of volunteering so thats not any kind of answer.

If you're not interested thats up to you, why bother with excuses?

SleepIsForTheWeek · 21/02/2018 00:02

I agree with Vlad Chocolate, that's not helpful. I feel I have nothing to contribute to friendships/conversation because I was in an abusive marriage that has left me with no confidence. I don't know what I like because my ex told me what I should like and I'm trying to figure it out for myself but it's not that easy. I can't read a book or watch a film because my concentration is shot - anxiety, depression, negativity, what ever reason, it's not always as simple as "magic". I've volunteered, tried to find hobbies, when you are working full time it's actually extra work to put in the effort to do these.
It's a hard place to be in and even harder to pull yourself out of when you are there. Keep posting OP, we will help you if we can - but try and meet us half way.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/02/2018 00:02

So what do you want out of this? A moan or a solution? So far you've rejected any and all resolutions. So what now? Fancy a moan - I'm all ears. Do you want any of this to change?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 00:02

I didn’t think I have tried volunteering but it upset me and was hard to fit in was an excuse. But you’re right in s way, I don’t think I do wsnt to do anything any more, that’s not an excuse, that’s how things are.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 00:03

Vlad I have said I don’t think There are solutions.

I am waiting to die.

I hope it will happen. Soon. With my luck it won’t.

OP posts:
Saturnday · 21/02/2018 00:04

Honestly, counselling can help, as can your GP. I understand you think there’s no point, but you may as well give it a try as you’ve nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 21/02/2018 00:05

Well I have tried 3 times now so I’m unwilling to try again. I am an awkward sod I know.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/02/2018 00:05

Samaritans
or phone 116 123
24 hours. 7 days a week. No charge for the phone call. Or talk on line if you prefer.

Sleepyduvetday · 21/02/2018 00:06

It's fine if you just need to have a moan op and tell people how shit you feel.

You might not be ready or feel like changing anything.

Although as you are here, and not dead yet, you might as well try to make your life a little more bearable.

You've nothing to lose by talking to someone

wafflyversatile · 21/02/2018 00:07

When was the last time you laughed? Are there any tv programmes you find amusing?

VladmirsPoutine · 21/02/2018 00:09

What is your job? No need to out yourself but where are you on the spectrum of say the person that writes the news and the person that delivers the papers?

VladmirsPoutine · 21/02/2018 00:10

With my luck it won’t.

Good! If nothing you're paying taxes for my very ill mother's medication on the NHS. I hope you continue doing so!

GnotherGnu · 21/02/2018 00:36

You can't claim you have done volunteering. You tried one type of volunteering. There are no end of different types of things you can do as a volunteer which won't upset you. Why don't you investigate further to see if there's something different you can try which you might enjoy?