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Original poster

To think is this it?

224 replies

Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 22:46

I go to work. I come home.

Then I go to work and come home.

Five days a week. Then weekends I sit.

No money to do anything, nothing I really want to do anyway. No one to do it with.

Sometimes I feel like even in jail I might have people to talk to.

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:36

Agreed, but the other problem is that I have tried and failed in the past. And now here I am. A broken failure.

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glsgow107 · 20/02/2018 23:36

This was me a few months ago. I have a new house, new job and even went on the most comical fussy stupid date of my life on Saturday. Because I wanted to. It was awful but I feel proud. I'm going to a self defence class on Saturday. This is all because I went to the dr and cried. It was snotty tears but he made me get help. And not just drugs. Actual help. Please try it.

virtualreality · 20/02/2018 23:37

How do you function at work, talk to anyone there, have a coffee, go for a fag, anything? Do you interract with your housemates?

You can get up, washed dressed and go to work, that's positive.

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:37

I talk to people. I go through the motions I suppose.

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LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:38

I think we all go through the motions at work though! You aren't alone

SleepIsForTheWeek · 20/02/2018 23:40

Tea has it.
I also understand Isthisit. I am pretty isolated. It takes effort and money and motivation to get out there and try and find people to mix with - and it's tough. I'm a big advocate for meetups and run my own groups but I hate it. I am a massive introvert and suffer from social anxiety but I can't keep spending night after night on my own. I've become an organiser for meetups because I'd keep signing up for them then not going and organising them means I have to go.
You do sound depressed though, and that's not surprising if you are spending all your time alone and getting knocked back when you do try. Where do you live? Perhaps there are some things we can suggest?

VladmirsPoutine · 20/02/2018 23:40

Just out out of interest. Do you want a partner or children?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:40

That’s really nice of you sleep Flowers

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:41

Vlad I do but possibly in the same way you want to win the lottery?

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OhForFrigSake · 20/02/2018 23:41

You sound at the end of your tether Isthisit and I can identify. I have felt the same at intervals throughout my life. Then I got cancer. What I thought was a mundane existence was actually not that at all. You never realise how 'happy' you are until you're not.

It does put things into perspective somewhat. Although obviously I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone. It sounds like you need a moment of epiphany yourself. I mean that nicely.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/02/2018 23:42

But then you'd be saying that you do - it's just that you think it will never happen?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:42

I wish I could take someone’s cancer for them. Someone who had people who loved them and wanted them to stay. Obviously it just doesn’t work like that.

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:43

Yes Vlad, that’s right.

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OhForFrigSake · 20/02/2018 23:46

Please don't say things like that. You are important.

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:47

Honestly, I’m not ... I mean, it’s so lovely of you to say that, but I’m not important at all!

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VladmirsPoutine · 20/02/2018 23:47

So what are we dealing with here? Depression? A sense of passivity? Of your own admission you go to work and come home.

What have you done or tried to do to make things different? You are 37 and therefore I would presume quite have quite a lot of life experience under your belt. Is there something that happened before that changed all of this? Did you once have a boyfriend or a partner? Were you once pregnant.

Tell me more about you.

ChocolateCoveredPringle · 20/02/2018 23:48

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Sleepyduvetday · 20/02/2018 23:48

Op you're 37, not much older than me, I believe there is hope for you.

How about making a GP appointment and asking for some counselling or CBT. It might not work, but it would just you someone to speak to and moan to, something to focus on once a week.

In the meantime, you don't sound motivated enough to start up an exercise programme or get a hobby, but could you get into a box set, or read some magazines?

Is there any small thing you get any enjoyment from?

How's your job? Is it a career? Is there anything you'd have liked to do work wise?

OhForFrigSake · 20/02/2018 23:49

Yes you are. Do you realise how remote your odds of existing actually are? That somehow every single ancestor you have survived and passed on their DNA down to this point; to you!

VladmirsPoutine · 20/02/2018 23:51

You sound very boring. Try a hobby, you might like it.

@ChocolateCoveredPringle You sound like a twat. Try compassion, you might like it.

DixieFlatline · 20/02/2018 23:52

Could a pet inject some companionship and purpose into your life?

ChocolateCoveredPringle · 20/02/2018 23:53

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OhForFrigSake · 20/02/2018 23:53

I mean realistically we're all ants crawling on the surface of a dying rock zooming through space aren't we? (I know, I sure know how to lighten a mood!) But in reality meaning in life is what we make it. And Yes, for you 'this' could be it if you let it be.. the point is, you don't have to let it be.

No body is making you 'do' anything. You have complete control over your own life. Over your own happiness. You just have to start taking some ownership for that and thinking about what might make you truly happy (or at least happier) - baby steps.

crunchymint · 20/02/2018 23:53

I too think CBT might help which is free on the NHS.

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:54

Nothing to know vlad. Weird question re pregnancy Hmm

Chocolate I am not confused at all as to why I don’t have any friends

No pets allowed here. Anyway I get annoyed by them.

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