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Original poster

To think is this it?

224 replies

Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 22:46

I go to work. I come home.

Then I go to work and come home.

Five days a week. Then weekends I sit.

No money to do anything, nothing I really want to do anyway. No one to do it with.

Sometimes I feel like even in jail I might have people to talk to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:24

Who’s back again gimme.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:25

Just so we are clear here I am not here for advice

I do not expect Mumsnet to solve my problems, that is completely beyond anybody.

OP posts:
AyeAyeFishyPie · 20/02/2018 23:27

So then what would you like from mumsnet? You have come on asking 'is this it' and rejected every single suggestion. So yes, it probably is it if you don't do something.

DixieFlatline · 20/02/2018 23:28

It took me about three times of being prescribed different anti-depressants by different GPs before I actually felt any impact of them at all. I'm now under the care of a psychiatrist and, having seen the level of thought and care he puts in to selecting exactly the right drug(s) for me and tweaking the dosage of them, I despair at the previous attempts with medication from GPs, and despair for all those suffering and unable to access a psychiatrist. My only advice is to go back to the GP or a different GP, try something you haven't tried yet and GO BACK if the dosage isn't doing wonders for you. Push and push and push. They're designed to work if you get the right one(s) and the right dose!!

LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:28

You presumably live somewhere expensive then op if you end up with no money!

virtualreality · 20/02/2018 23:28

Are you in debt above your eyeballs or something like that? If you work FT and don't go anywhere or do anything how come you have no disposable fun money at all?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:29

I know and I really don’t know why I come on

Is it to confirm in my own mind how beyond help I am, or just to speak to people. I suspect the latter.

OP posts:
teaiseverything · 20/02/2018 23:29

I speak as someone who's had severe clinical depression, had to be physically carried to counselling because I was so agoraphobic, tried to commit suicide, was homeless, lived on donations from food banks.....you name it.....YOU have to want to get better. You really have to look deep inside at yourself and recognise patterns of behaviour. Your constant negativity (and there is a difference between negativity and depression) will only make things worse. You do come over as depressed but you won't go back to GP, won't go to counselling, hate everyone's suggestions. Even when we're at our worst, we have to take some responsibility for our own lives, even if we're barely clinging on by our finger nails.

If you work full time (I'm not sure if you do) and are living in a shared house, perhaps give us a breakdown of your incomings and outgoings to see if some of us can help cut down expenses and free up a bit of money for you?

LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:29

'Is this it'?

Well yes.... yes, if you want it to be I suppose. What's your job? Is it dull? I saw my ideal job advertised last night. Would love a change

smithsinarazz · 20/02/2018 23:30

Hiya there. As some other people have said, you do sound depressed, and you seem to be rejecting suggestions out of hand with reference to how awful you are "I can't talk to them", "I'm useless", etc.
I bet you're not that bad. And you're still young (by which I mean younger than me).
I go along to a French meetup which I like because a) it helps me brush up my French b) you get some conversation prompters, so it's not just people sitting around trying desperately to think of things to say.
I like Littlebird's advice :)
There's absolutely nothing to make you irrevocably useless, or incapable, or boring. You want to live a little and that's great. You're allowed.
Keep us posted how you get on xx

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:30

I’m not going to go into the money thing as I can’t be arsed being judged and people will advise and I’ll ignore it then everyone gets mad. Besides it’s not exactly that I have no fun money at all but I have no inclination wasting it on stuff that makes no difference.

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virtualreality · 20/02/2018 23:30

Wishing you the very best OP, but this is going nowhere.

Many have tried to help but you will not engage. And that includes GP, anti depressants etc. You have to WANT to help yourself.

Saturnday · 20/02/2018 23:30

Call the Samaritans.
I’ve been where you are, as have many, the dark days do pass and you will feel better. Talking helps, give the Samaritans a call, it can’t hurt Flowersww

Wdigin2this · 20/02/2018 23:30

If you're that lonely, the best thing to do is get a bar job, you'll soon meet people and form friendships!

LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:30

How did you wind up on mumsnet op?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:31

Tea

I know

But I don’t want to be alive. So I won’t take responsibility for my life because I have no hope and I am waiting to die.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:31

London someone linked to a thread on Facebook I think.

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LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:32

Waiting to die? How old are you? Got an illness?

Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:32

No I wouldn’t wd I would probably be sacked

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:32

No no illness I am 37

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Original poster
Isthisit33 · 20/02/2018 23:32

Anyway I am sorry this has gone very black

But it’s just how it is.

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LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:33

Oh sorry you already said your age

Well death awaits us all. Might as well 'do' something while we wait

ReanimatedSGB · 20/02/2018 23:34

There is nothing anyone can do for you, because you will do nothing for yourself. Yes, that is it, unless you do something, yourself.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 20/02/2018 23:35

Can you remember a time in your life when you were happy?

LondonHereICome · 20/02/2018 23:35

Might just be a temporary thing. Never know what's round the corner