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I am falling apart

178 replies

Aveiam · 24/02/2017 23:17

I can't calm down and I have the worst thoughts, I am actually just falling apart and I have no one literally no one to help me, I don't know why to do

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 17/03/2017 20:35

Sweetheart this is a quick reply as I'm at work! But I am SO proud of you!!

I'll reply later on xxx

SparklyMagpie · 18/03/2017 01:30

Sweet, it doesn't make the blind bit of difference if you don't know where he is now. He'll be shacked up somewhere/someone keeping himself safe, he proves time and time again he doesn't think or care about you.

It's going to be bloody difficult but I hope you can speak to the police. You're such a lovely woman, who is scared, lost, confused. You deserve the world OP! And it's time you let people who show you and support you,that you are worth it and deserve it!
You owe it to yourself!! You opened up when you sought medical attention. You deserve to wake up every morning knowing you're free!

OP you need to escape all this pain, suffering, you're torturing yourself and you're allowing it. I've read time an time again what you've been through, this is your time to break free and start all over.
It's a scary thought I know, but imagine waking up, or going out to the shops or wherever and not having to worry what awaits you when you put you key in the door
No more going to the hospital due to internal bleeding, the repercussions of that monster.
I can't say I know exactly what you're going through but I've been through a situation that changed my whole entire life when I was younger,I never EVER thought I'd get through it, but you know what, with the right help and support I did ! You won't think it but you deserve everything, down to the tiniest little bit of happiness! It's easy to just sit back and put up with the abuse, the lifestyle you've been accustomed to, but NOW you have the chance to change it and for the better

I doubt you will but I hope you read this. If There is any post I've ever read on here that has effected me so much and I've wished would turn around and they got away and safe, it's you OP!

Be that caterpillar who transforms into the most beautiful butterfly! Xx

fruitbats · 18/03/2017 07:41

Morning Aveiam
SparklyMagpie has posted a very sensible and thoughtful post.
I just wanted to add that no one will make you speak to the police if you don't want to (although I would) but they will be there to explain all your options and support you.
You have come so far and done incredibly well in seeking some help.
I hope it all goes well for you today. Thanks

SparklyMagpie · 18/03/2017 08:18

Agree with you Fruitbats

How are you this morning Aveiam ? Did you manage to get much sleep?

Aveiam · 18/03/2017 21:18

Thank you for your posts it is very kind of you all to care enough to write to me. I have been in hospital again today and now am at home again. I had a bad night and hurt myself but ok now and he's still not come back

OP posts:
fruitbats · 19/03/2017 01:38

Hi Aveiam We do care about you. I'm sorry to hear that you hurt yourself. How did the appointment with Women's Aid go? Did you feel you got any benefit from it ? Is there anything we can do to help to keep you safe?
I have to say that I'm glad he hasn't come back. I know that's not what you want to hear but I really can't find any sympathy for him. I know you are worried about him but you just need to focus on yourself. Thanks

Aveiam · 20/03/2017 20:36

I don't know how to keep myself safe I don't know if I want to be safe anymore

OP posts:
fruitbats · 20/03/2017 20:39

Do you have a number for the crisis team Aveiam? Can you ring someone?

Aveiam · 22/03/2017 12:09

I went to a&e then I am back home now

OP posts:
fruitbats · 22/03/2017 14:07

Hi Aveiam How are you feeling?

SparklyMagpie · 22/03/2017 19:44

Hi Aveiam I've been working a lot so only just had chance to catch up whilst at work again
How on earth are you? Have you heard any more from any support networks?

Hope you're ok!! We DO care about you xx

Aveiam · 23/03/2017 13:39

I feel very ill I haven't eaten or slept I am just sitting for hours and hours I feel numb

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 23/03/2017 16:50

I have sent you a message back sweetheart, thank you for replying to me :)

How are you feeling now? I wish I could give you a big hug!! One step at a time, you've been used to this life for so long!

Anytime you need a shoulder message me or talk on here! Just know you do have people who care xxx

fruitbats · 23/03/2017 19:30

I'm so sorry that you are struggling Aveiam Can you just try a bit of toast or something? You are going to make yourself feel even worse if you don't eat Thanks

Aveiam · 24/03/2017 18:45

I can't do anything I literally don't know the time or the day I think I'm losing it properly I don't know what I've been doing at all

OP posts:
fruitbats · 24/03/2017 21:20

Would it help to talk about it on here? Did the assessment team offer you any support? Did you report to the police. Has partner returned?
I don't really want to bombard you with questions and don't feel you need to answer them. I am just wondering what else I can suggest to help Sad

Aveiam · 25/03/2017 20:39

I don't know I literally can't rember anything at all I feel so scared I don't know anything

OP posts:
fruitbats · 26/03/2017 14:30

Don't be afraid to seek help if you feel you need it Aveiam There are people who care Thanks

Aveiam · 26/03/2017 19:33

I think this is it now

OP posts:
fruitbats · 26/03/2017 19:50

What do you mean Aveiam?

Littleelffriend · 26/03/2017 19:51

Sweetheart what can I do?

Aveiam · 26/03/2017 20:38

I just don't know what to do or how to get better anymore I am too tired

OP posts:
fruitbats · 26/03/2017 21:49

You need to try and get some rest love. Is there anyone you can speak to in rl?

SparklyMagpie · 27/03/2017 10:09

Morning Aveiam I've only just managed to catch up

How are you this morning sweet?

It really does sound like nows the perfect time to call someone for some more support.

You shouldn't be feeling like you can't do this on your own :(

Do you think you could ring your GP and get an appointment? They can point you in the right direction

You don't have to answer but could you say what area you live in? If you were close to me I'd certainly be there to support you

Or help you get the support you need

Sending big hugs sweetheart xxx

fruitbats · 27/03/2017 18:53

Hi Aveiam - just checking in to see how you are doing Thanks

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