childhood sexual abuse

[iamasurvivor]

this an emotive subject so please forgive me if it upsets anyone. i am a 30ish yr old woman who was sexual abused and raped by stepfather from age 11 till i was 17 when i found the courage to put a stop to it.
i have been through counselling twice and am actually a trained counsellor myself now.
in the 23 yrs since it started i have maintained this facade of still being his step daughter and he and my mum are still married.

this issue keeps rearing its head and usually i can deal with it and put it to rest. in the last month i have told my husband what has happened, and now i feel i am at the stage in my life where i need to confront my abuser, i havent spoken to him for months due to a completely unrelated row, but i know that i cant go back to putting on this act for the rest of the family anymore. i have to let him know that i have never forgotten what he did to me and exactly what i think of him.

i guess i am just wondering if anyone has been in a similar circumstance, my mum doesnt by the way and i dont know whether to tell her.

i will ever so grateful if anyone replies. thanks

hi all, just wanted to check in with everyone. whateverhappened am sorry to read your thread and i hope all goes well at your GP's, please know that you can always pop on here for love and support or even when you just want to rant.

ABMU will send you email.

big hugs and loads of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks glitterandsparkle - really appreciate all the good thoughts. will post back on wednesday - so not looking forward to it though (the gp that is). what is abmu?

abitmessedup!!

well, went to the doctor today, and it went quite well. apparently my iron is low so I have to try iron tablets to check that's not the problem - think I still probabaly need antidepressants though. He told me that around 10 years ago it was pretty common to call any kind of depression psychosis (which is fairly knackering to life insurance). He's going to go through my notes to see exactly what was written, but will remove it from my file pretty easily if at all possible. Had to explain all about it, which was the first time in about 10 years I've talked about anything, so it's been pretty tiring. However, he was fab.

Thanks both for taking the time to respond - it really did help - I was getting v worked up about it all. I really needed the moral support. A bit calmer now, but still edgy after having to talk about it all again.

thanks for posting back whateverhappened, i remember feeling emotionally wrung out after i had sat and disclosed everything to my GP. please keep us updated and we are always here when you need support xxxx

well, I only managed to sleep about 2 hours last night. I gave up in the end and had tea and toast at 3.30 am. feeling fairly shattered today.

i was like this for a few nights after seeing my GP and i also suffered some very vivid flashbacks which werent pleasant. you will come through this honest