The Lost Souls Lounge - falling through the cracks of the MH system

[swisscheesetony]

Been "escorted" to hospital by the police chasing your ambulance?

Been told by the psych team you're fine and there's nothing they can do?

Pull up a pew and have a w(h)ine. No judgement.

My name's swiss and I'm borderline. 2 weeks ago I was taken to hospital with a police escort and discharged 12 hours later. A follow-up appointment with the clinical director of the mental health services ticked a box or two but they've no plans to see me again.

I'm off to see my new GP tomorrow to ask for help (attention seek bien sur).

I don't have that support like you had.

I feel condemned because people think I'm a bad person and judge me by weird double standards.

The world is a terrible and frightneing place with so much pain and cruelty.

The only thing we have is each other, and love - materials things are fleeting and mean nothing. Yet I dont have love. And so I have nothing. The horror and terror of it all consuming me

I'm so sorry you feel like that element. I know how lucky I am to have had the support. I wish there was something I could do to help you.

hugandroll How are you feeling this morning? I hope you've made it through the night. x I don't understand why they won't help when we say "Yeh, this is how I'm going to do it".

element Do you get obsessive about things? Could you perhaps go for a "safe" obsession right now to try and numb things a little? Possibly something which doesn't involve hammering your finances. It's at times like this I've done "bonkers" things to try and focus on something else. E.g., I once dug up the garden to turn it into a vegetable patch. Actually veggies grown and eaten = about 3 carrots.

I'm on a fairly even keel right now. I've not SH'd for nearly a week but was very low and insecure feeling yesterday. I also had a kid's party yesterday and that was hard, facing all those people who know damned well that an ambulance trotted me off a few weeks ago.

Swiss, I know how you must have felt yesterday as it was police carting me off in the middle of the night a few weeks ago (already there and quicker than ambulance) Did anyone actually say anything? And if they did, how did you reply. No-one had asked me but a neighbour asked Dh and another neighbour asked my next door neighbour (who knew the ful story but pretended she didn't)

Haha I had the police escort too! Nobody said anything at all - it's been all smiles to my face... Next door neighbours were really concerned, but not intrusive iykwim - I just said "bad day" and left it at that.

My ndn is also my friend so we'd already confided in her and she did lots to help us with dcs. The others were just nosey buggers! Dh made some excuse about my meds - I'd have made it very clear that I had no intention of telling them and that they were rude to even ask. (They invited Dh in under the pretence of showing him the work they'd done - never asked him in before!)

I'm still here. My wonderful friend stayed over last night to help with the boys this morning. I wouldn't have got them to school otherwise as I feel awful.

I'm trying to drink a coffee before I attempt to ring the crisis team. I cried most of yesterday, and I'm too exhausted to be that low today, I'm more robotic and just going through the motions.

How did you all meet your friends? Are people really that understanding?

Hugandroll, glad to see you here. Hope the team offer you some help and I'm glad you had your friend there.
Flowers, I had three friends who were invaluable - one I've known almost forever, one since high school and one has been my neighbour for 15 years. We have all been through lots together, marriage breakups, bereavements, family issues etc and they all know I would be there (and have been) should they need it. I do know I'm lucky

Actually, one thing I will say is that all the other times I've been ill, I've either kept it to myself or just relied on Dh. I've always been the one to say "I'm fine" but actually, this time, for the first time really, I asked for their help. I actually phoned and said "I need you" I knew they'd help but it was their level of support that blew me away.

The two people who have helped me the most, also have mental health problems so they understand.

Crisis team was useless. Got told to "think of positive things to keep me here" and "the cancellations weren't personal, it's just the way the system works" and "yes you're probably too unstable for primary mental health, but you've been referred there".

I feel so worthless, and the conversions with mental health services just cement that feeling.

I wish I had a friend like that, I don't have any friends. It would probably change my life. Are the MIND groups any good for making friends?

I don't know, I don't go to groups, worth a go I'd say.

Hugandroll, I'm so sorry they spoke to you like that, you aren't worthless. You do have people who care about you. It's disgraceful that people can be left to cope alone. Once I got access to the home treatment team, they have been there to help 24/7 if I've needed them. It's the GP, the in patient system and the future therapies available that I have massive issues with in my area.
Flowers, it may be worth you giving MIND a ring, I know we have a local group but I didn't feel it was for me.

House move could possibly be next week I'm unsure someone who's got a house there said she was told next week is a possibility.

Wrong thread sorry.

Does anyone else with mental illness suffer with chronic boredom? I have zero motivation to do anything therefore become chronically bored. My concentration is quite poor too. The things t hat used to interest me seem so mundane and pointless. It feels like I've posted this before.

Heaven I get that too.

Just found out a family member only has a couple of hours left to live. I'm too numb to be sad, I am jealous though. I feel so guilty for that.

Ah hug, that's sad news. Don't feel guilty, it's the illness making you feel like that.

When I was at my worst I couldn't concentrate on anything at all. I love reading but just found myself reading the same lines over and over and nothing was going in. When I was busy at work, I used to fantasise about entire days to myself where I could just curl up with a good book, uninterrupted. The reality was complete boredom which led to more frustration and anxiety.
Hugandroll I'm so sorry to hear your news. The numbness is awful isn't it. In the opposite end of the scale, we came into some unexpected money a few weeks ago (enough so that we didn't have to worry about Christmas or my pay dropping to half) and when Dh told me, I just couldn't care less. Don't feel guilty, it's horrible when you feel that everything is so hopeless that you just want it all to end.

swiss I don't understand why they won't help when we say "Yeh, this is how I'm going to do it". My local crisis team say it's up to the person if they want to kill themselves. It's sick.

Flowers I know what you mean about friends. I'm currently losing my mind feeling trapped and terrified because of the horrible way I've been treated by people, people who others think are nice but are judgemental and nasty. If people accpeted my struggles and were vaguely supportive I'd be loads better. It is so strange and awful that having an MH issue can lead to such dreadful treatment and isolation, which then becomes the main problem.

feeling really down . just told myself that if i dont make a real life friend within the next year then i'll end my life

Where are you Flowers?

South Wales, but nobody on here seems to be from around here

I'm Cardiff. How far away are you?