help

[dottymum]

Ive a 3 week old son, a four year old daughter, my husband left a couple of weeks ago.

The baby is lovely, I adore him. My four year old's behaviour is terrible. I got up to see to ds, dd woke up, screamed hystericallym demanded i went back to bed immediately. She is over demandingm jealous of the baby to an extreme.
to be honest i really dislike her at the moment. daddy doesnt want her ad she is begging to see him. he wont see her. I get the crap for it,

I feel like i want her to go live somewhere else. i really really dislike her. I know she had a lot of upset, it isnt her fault, its me. Im horrible.

What am I going to do, I love my childreb, i dont want to feel like this. I dont feel depressed as such, but Im not myself at all

Perhaps its better for them both if i gve hem up and go away

Well done for coping! be proud of ureslf! i have a 2 yr old, i threw my ex out a year ago, dont know the slang used here! im new! She will be jealous at that age, my neighbours aby came round last wknd, and he was bad, u have to punish her slightly, to show her its wrong encourage her to help u with feeeding, getting things, bath etc, or whatever u can! my boy threw a toy at the baby 6 months! NO BABE! GO TO UR DOCS, UVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT, UR DEPRESSED GET SOME ANTI DPS AND SOME COUNCELLLING START FROM THERE! I feel like i hate my boy some times! x Its hard!

Well I think your doing really well. A 3 week old baby and a four year old on your own.
Your dd is adjusting to two things a new baby and daddy not being there.
Is there anyone who could come over and give you a break so you can have some rest.
Go to your GP,speak to the HV and see how they can help.
Remember you are doing a brillant job.

I really dont want to speak to the gp, i dont want them to take the children away because im finding it hard.

I dont feel like im at all adequate, like im letting both of them down. I dont have enough time to give them both all my attention. Im 1 person.

I suppose i will just have to try harder.

My mum wont have dd by herself and there is noone else.
Im sorry. just moaning i guess. ill be ok.
sorry

dd doesnt like me much. She wants her daddy. He wont see her or the new baby, or even talk to dd.

Im trying to help her, but im devestated too and so tired
im useless

have to go out now..but please please don't give up.....no one will take your kids away if you ask for help....of course the kids are unsettled..and you too....

can a friend or family member come over and give you a hand today ..while you are feeling low.....

you are not uselss..you are there...holding it all together for your kids..you are stronger than you give yourself credit for...

any Mnetters near you....?

(((hugs))

I think you are doing brilliantly, but I do understand how you must bee feeling. I have a 2 week old baby and 2 boys aged 3 and 4- all I want is to cuddle my baby and for the boys to leave me alone sometimes! My 4 year old has just started reception and turned into a monster!It's natural, hormones all over the place, focus on the baby etc. And I have a husbabnd who is ok so I am the lucky one.

I do think you need some support- you are certainly not useless! You are wonderful, you have brought 2 children into the world and coping on your own, please be gentle on yourself.

And I am certain that if you spoke to your GP or even HV about how you feel, they will only be willing to listen to you. That's what they are there for, to support you. They will not even think about taking your children away. The people that admit they are struggling are the ones who obviously care that much for their children.

dotty...just got back.....

i saw my GP when had severe PND....my HV used to come round every week and have a cup of tea with me and a chat...and give me information about where to get help....

they will not take your children away getting help to get through this is paramount...doing the best for your kids is not going to get them taken away....honestly.....

Your children will not be taken away. Could your mum come and help at your house even if she can't take dd out.
Please ask for help if you don't feel able to go to the gp just now,will you talk to your HV.
((((hugs)))

Im so sorry. I just cant. I know they will judge me and I dont feel safe enough to tell them how Im feeling.

Maybe it will just pass and Ill feel alright again soon.

I don't think pnd comes into it, your tired doing your best. your family would want to help surely? Or his for that matter, just because he's gone it doesn't mean the rest of his family and friends wouldn't want to be envolved.
Asking for help doesn't make you a bad parent, your only human! And my dd favoured her dad most the time anyway, and even more so when ds1 arrived it'a girl thing.

I hope your alright
[[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

dotty..are you north or south...? is there anyone near you who can help

they won;t judge you... i promise..you will be ok..

Dottymum - how are you doing?

I suppose Im ok. My dad is coming to see me on weds, and an old friend of mine asked me to a concert tonight. I cant go, as ive no sitter who could look after the baby. It was nice to be asked.

Dd is being better behaved after a long chat and some serious attention. I do love her immensely. Its not her fault she is so shaken up by events. ive got to keep things in perspective. Im trying to make it up to her and not be upset about her reactions.

Ds is b-feeding a lot. Im thinking about giving it up. At least a bottle would be gone relatively quickly, he is doing hour feeds sometimes. I love feeding him but its too tiring and dd needs my attention.

Im being pathetic. To be hones i pushed some of my friends away. They dont really offer much support and im angry with them for not helping more, when ive alway gone out my way to help them.

Ill have to be ok.

My mum and dad are going to my sisters for xmas, and we are not invited. mum said she will do boxing day with us. My sister has a husband. I had an argument with her sme time back and she wont alk to me.

i care for the children. no one cares for me anymore.
I cant do this alone

dotty....PLEASE ask you GP or HV for help..........please.
they can support you and advise you..if your family won;t or can't

Ive decided to give the children up to their paternal grandparents.

thanks for your support, but I cant go on like this, and there is nothing to gp can do

dotty........that is too big of a decision to make now....what about you.......when will you see them?

.

please...does anyone know this lady..can anyone help?

I wont see them again. paternal grandparents are not in the UK. Its for the best. Ive nothign to offer them. Im doing this for them.

Its best I just go away and let everyone else have a good life.

Really, its for the best.

Ill be ok Lulumama. The children are going to be well looked after, and much happier without me.

Dont worry about me. I wont post again. Thank you fo rtalking to me

dotty....this is not the answer...please can you find some help ? i know it is desperate...but they are your babies. please take care....

don't know what to say

you are feeling miserable and not seeing things straight, you are not the only one who has been there..it is important for you and the children that you ask for help..would you telephone a help line or see your gp

what about ringing this helpline 0845 767 8000 (SANE)

well qualified counsellor will speak to you and help you find some help in your locality

there must be something one of us can do to help out here....

as someone else said - does anyone know who this is who then might be able to help?

dottymum
are you still here? please keep on talking....