I cant stand my baby

[drivenmad]

The title says it all really. I am sick to death of all his crying. I do everything in the world to try to make him comfortable and happy and he just cries and cries and moans. He is a miserable person to be around 24/7.

There. I just had to get it off my chest.

((DM))

I have been there with DS1. It's bloody horrible when they cry all day and night.

How old is your DS?

11 weeks. I dont even want to look at him right now. Why is he so bloody miserable all the time?

is he crying after feeding...drawing his knees up.....maybe colicky?

whatever it is....it's horrible, soul destroying, when you are trying your best and the crying goes on & on....

Has he got colic or reflux? DS1 had reflux and it made him howl all day.

Have you got a sympathetic HV?

Is there anyone there with you that can give you a break for a while?

he does have colic but he also just moans all the time. I just cant stand it. He never is happy. Ever.

Have you tried laying him on his tummy, I know you're not supposed to but it shut both of mine up.

Do you feel like this most of the time or is this just a sudden attack of unhappiness? How do you feel generally?
It is normal to have absolutely appalling moments with small babies, but please remember he is only a very tiny baby and is not doing this to upset you. You are the centre of his world.

yeah my DH has him right now. Of course he is asleep. I just hate this. I hate not liking him.

Have you spoken to your doctor / health visitor. Do you have anybody else there who could help you?

lay him over your knees so there is gentle pressure on his tummy, or a gentle massage after his bath........

and yes...can someone give you a break...?

does he settle to sleep or not?

He was probably crying because he was tired. They do that a lot.
But what about you? How are you feeling?

You must be exhausted. Could you manage to get some sleep whilst DH looks after DS?

DrivenMad, you are experiencing normal human emotions, do not cut yourself up about the way you feel. Please go and as a neighbour or friend to come over for half an hour and get out of the house, go for a wailk anything to make you feel better.

Hope you feel better soon. And remember, they do grow up and it will get better and we've all been there and have all the sympathy in the world for you.

WHy don't you have a lie down for yourself, when he rests you do it as well.

DM, I agree they are very boring at first they just want feeding and changing all the time and they don't even smile at you. It will get better, honest.

I know you have probably heard this a million times already, but it doesn't last. I used to reallty piss me off when people told me that, but it's true. DS1 started to improve at about 12 to 13 weeks or so

I feel like this OFTEN. I am being treated for PND. I know he cant help it, I know he isnt trying to wind me up but he is just so bloody delicate. You cant set him down. You have to hold him while he sleeps. STILL. HE IS THREE MONTHS OLD and I still have to hold him while he sleeps. I love him more than anything but I do not like him at all right now. I am really pissed after spending 24/7 holding him I set him down one fucking time and he sets off.

Do you think you might have Post Natal Depression drivenmad? Maybe your LO is picking your stress up making him upset?
Have you spoken to your HV? I had days with DS when he would cry all day and i just felt like shit as his mum i felt i should beable to comfort him but couldn't and it is horrible.
I hope you get this sorted so you can enjoy your baby.

Sorry crossed posts x

How long have you been on treatment for PND?

You do sound very depressed. Is the treatment working do you think? Babies are infuriating and frustrating esp if you have a high need one (I know, I had one) but it does get better. And everything will feel a million times worse with PND.

My HV is very involved, she is lovely. I've been on ADs for 2 weeks now so they should work soon. I just want him to be happy. Thats all.

It is really hard when they cry and cry. Dd1 did, and it just ruled our lives for weeks......BUT, it does eventually end. In the meantime, you will not be a bad mother if you put DS1 down in safe place, go in other room and scream "Shut up, shut up, I hate this noise" into a pillow, and pound said pillow for 10 mins or so.

A bit extreme, but a mother I knew suggested this for me, and it helped a lot - and I never felt like I had screamed at, or, god forbid, pounded DD1.

If it is colic, we found using a cloth wrap type sling helped to comfort DD1. Did end up wearing her all day, and going out every day, which oddly seemed to help as well - maybe it was the bobbling up and down at walking pace that settled her?

V best of luck

It is really hard when they cry and cry. Dd1 did, and it just ruled our lives for weeks......BUT, it does eventually end. In the meantime, you will not be a bad mother if you put DS1 down in safe place, go in other room and scream "Shut up, shut up, I hate this noise" into a pillow, and pound said pillow for 10 mins or so.

A bit extreme, but a mother I knew suggested this for me, and it helped a lot - and I never felt like I had screamed at, or, god forbid, pounded DD1.

If it is colic, we found using a cloth wrap type sling helped to comfort DD1. Did end up wearing her all day, and going out every day, which oddly seemed to help as well - maybe it was the bobbling up and down at walking pace that settled her?

V best of luck