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Mental health

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Original poster

I cant stand my baby

133 replies

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:14

The title says it all really. I am sick to death of all his crying. I do everything in the world to try to make him comfortable and happy and he just cries and cries and moans. He is a miserable person to be around 24/7.

There. I just had to get it off my chest.

OP posts:

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 29/10/2006 17:28

drivenmad, is your DH at work during the week? Do you have any friends or relatives that could come over and give you a hand?

colditz · 29/10/2006 17:28

Will he take a dummy?

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:28

I still have to hold him the entire time he sleeps, or else he just wont sleep. I put him down after HOURS so I can pee and he kicks off. This is my life.

OP posts:

intergalacticwerewolf · 29/10/2006 17:29

Give them a few more days, and if you don;t feel better go back to the GP. They should start working after 2 weeks, from what I remember

colditz · 29/10/2006 17:30

By the way, NOBODY here is judging you. It is a rare mother who hasn't been driven to tears by one of her children.

colditz · 29/10/2006 17:31

Will he sleep in the pushchair? Wrap him up quite tight in a blanket while he is still awake, and rock him in the pushchair, might help?

Has he been checked for reflux?

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:31

he does take a dummy. keeping it in his mouth is another thing.

HV said he has the worst case of colic she has seen in 2 years. Now though it isnt the colic cry its more of a whinging that never ends. And shrieking. Anytime you put him down.

OP posts:

colditz · 29/10/2006 17:33

make your husband take him out for an hour.

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:33

thank you colditz. ITs nice to not be judged. HE doesnt have reflux. He's been checked for everything. He has (my diagnosis) a fragile emotional state.

OP posts:

colditz · 29/10/2006 17:34

Is the dummy a cherry teat or one of those newborn flat things? Cherry teats stay in much better, get the biggest one you can find.

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:35

My DH has him upstairs at the moment which is nice.

OP posts:

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:35

cherry flavoured?

its a non-branded dummy. He loves it he wont take any others.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 29/10/2006 17:36

Oh honey, I am so sorry. I remember feeling like this. I think a lot of us do. It is awful, feeling torn between love and hating loving one's baby so much.

As everyone says, it will not be your life forever. I know it feels like it at the moment. I remember being scared to go into the room where my baby was lying because I knew she'd kick off yet again. It is awful. I do hope things improve sooner rather than later.

intergalacticwerewolf · 29/10/2006 17:36

DS1 used to sleep like a dream in his car seat. I know it's not the ideal solution, but I used to drive for 15 mins to get him off, andf then come home and I'd get a couple of hours sleep out of him.

Definitely get him checked for reflux, because when I got DS1 sorted, he was a different baby.

sorrell · 29/10/2006 17:37

Have you tried wrapping him up really tightly? Do you have a baby swing? Some babies really do love them.

colditz · 29/10/2006 17:37

my friend calls them Gobstoppers, because they do!

They are the teats that are round, not flattened.

Tommee tippee do them, but wilkos do 4 for 99p

intergalacticwerewolf · 29/10/2006 17:38

Sorry, you just said he doesn't have reflux. Was posting while my Mum was gassing on the phone

divastrop · 29/10/2006 17:39

ad's can take up to 5 weeks to work,depending on the type.is this yuour first baby?my ds1 wanted to be held all the time,cried most of the time,i was in tears all the time and felt like he was controlling my life.things did improve alot when he got to the age where he could play and wanted to look around etc,but i still had to cuddle him to sleep till he was 2.5 .
what other people have said about putting him down and leaving the room is right.i felt guilty doing this with ds1 but when i had dd1 things were different,if i had things to get on with and she was crying i had no choice but to ignore her till i had a moment.it worked cos she got used to it and after a few weeks was happy to just sit there.
your baby will get past this stage,i know its frustrating and feels like its never ending but it does end.

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:40

thats ok intergalactic. Thanks though.

I just want to look at him without feeling this sense of dread and rage. I worked my ARSE off for this baby. I tried hard. I really worked hard. And I want to like him.

he hates the swing. Sometimes he will tolerate a swaddle. I will look for the dummies!

OP posts:

ItsthaWEREwooluff · 29/10/2006 17:41

I did end up wearing DD1 all day, as she cried every time I put her down, but at least in a sling I had my hands free-er, so that I could eat for instance. And I did end up wearing her into the loo as well. I think some babies are just clingier than others.

I remember telling my HV I didn't think my DD1 had bonded because she didn't look at me and smile like other mum's babies seemed to. BUt she screamed every time I put her down. All the literature / TV advertising etc seemed to be full of cooing babies having their tummies rubbed by adoring mama. And, meanwhile, chez Wooluff, DH was greeted every evening by me, thrusting the baby at him, saying take this * away.

Colic sucks, PND sucks big time - just hang on in there. Huge sympathy.

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:42

I just cant ignore him. I know maybe I should but I Cant. I DO ACHE when he cries. I want to make everything right for him.

Maybe if I let him cry some he would get this shit sorted out but I cant do it. I dont know what to do. He is THE MOST HELD BABY ever. And it still isnt good enough.

OP posts:

intergalacticwerewolf · 29/10/2006 17:43

Dummies were my saviour.

DS wouldn't take one at first, but I persevered. He'd given it up by 6 months, as he was so much better then.

divastrop · 29/10/2006 17:43

and i say this all the time but have you tried baby massage?my ds2 had colic and it helped soothe him,even if it didnt stop the pain it had the effect of relaxing me so i felt more in control.

Original poster

drivenmad · 29/10/2006 17:45

thank you so much. GRRRRRR

I love him for being sensitive. I'm sure when he is older it will be charming. Right now its hell. I just want him to seem to like me a little. Chill out a little. Lie on his own a little. Not a lot. Just a little. He wont even let me give him a massage.

OP posts:

littletoadstool · 29/10/2006 17:48

You poor thing - I went through a similar thing where I had to wear my DS in a sling the entire time, spent hours walking up and down the garden, managed to even have a pee while wearing him! And even though I knew deep down he wasn't doing it on purpose I really felt as though he was deliberately crying to p* me off! It got better after I changed from breast to bottle feeding. I'm not saying this is the best answer but it worked for me - also let me leave him with my DP while I escaped for an afternoon. It sounds as though you really need a break for a bit just to have time for yourself - if you're breast feeding could you express enough so that your partner can look after him overnight and you stay somewhere else to get a good night's sleep?

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