HTT are handing me over

[EnpoTree]

Woop! Just got a call asking if I wanted to be visited today (er, no, ta) and telling me that they're about to call CMHT to hand me over to them. Finally getting off this daily checking up soon I hope

Sorry Mitch. It was pretty horrible. But far worse for her. I still think about her sometimes and hope the bastard is dead she's okay.

I heard MDMA comedown is a bitch.

think am tired

always have to have lots of sleep, protein and exercise to grow my brain back after a chemically enhanced weekend

And thanks for the hug.

Yeah sleep would be good - you off to bed now Mitchy?

want to but there is a 6kg cat on my lap and he scratches me if I move

Ah.

Hmm.

At least you're probably nice and warm?

BTW I agree that that was a horrible way for someone to describe her lack of confidence in her ability to treat you Mitch.

yay escaped from under obese cat

I think it was quite bad. Have an axe to grind there. The moment has passed but I think if someone had had the time and skills to help me then I might not have ended up anaesthetising treating myself through semi starvation older coping strategies

It's annoying I think perhaps how little people realise, when their words are going to cut very deep. I'm sure she didn't dwell on her phrasing at all. But if she had agreed to treat you despite feeling she didn't have the ability I guess that would've been bad too.

6kg is big?

Anyway, hoping you're off to sleep now to avoid need for Dignitas Mitchy

he should be about 4.75, 5kg at most

I just cried a lot, found some things hard to talk about and she said I wasn't willing to Do The Work but I was willing, that's why I was there, I just needed help - it clearly wasn't going to fit into a 6 week cbt course or whatever but she phrased it very much in 'you are beyond the grasp of therapy' way rather than 'here are other things that might help you'

my cpn did try very hard to find other people but nothing helpful happened

you too, sweet dreams (appointment tomorrow?)

hope mp hasn't been set on fire

having small cry about rubbishness of Stuff, tomorrow is probably going to be a good day though

So sorry, I buggered off to have a bath (for sake of not smelling like an ogre at my appt which yes, is tomorrow) and have only just seen your posts. Hope you feel better for some sleep and the rubbishness of stuff doesn't keep you awake.

No I almost always feel sorry for myself, but slept ok thanks, you? What else is happening today?

Best of luck today Enpo, I'll be thinking of you.

Thanks Mitch and Mp.

Took zopiclone, slept seven hours, feel hungover, woke anxious, life shit. Today I also have to pick up random coat I bought for some reason. Abiding joy and jubilation.

good luck, am defrosting car and horribly late as usual

is the full length wool coat? It sounded beautiful

hope you feel less anxious and shit x

I'm sure it's very beautiful but I didn't need a coat and have no occasion to wear a full-length one I'm a fuckwit. Thanks for good wishes. Had forgotten about cold weather and cars - will make sure to get out to car early to demist.

It's bloody cold today.

I really ought to get out of bed.

DP presented me with Surprise Omelette, to warm me up apparently, during the three seconds I rushed downstairs naked to put a fresh tampon in, so I had to sit there naked and eat the omelette and be appreciative and grateful because he is so lovely and doesn't realise I feel like I'm going to be sick and REALLY don't want to eat I really don't deserve him.

have you emerged yet? is v sunny here

am freezing after run and it may be a no-no but am getting into hot bath asap