Hello.
I was going to namechange but can't be bothered.
Just received a very upsetting email from a close relative (not the relative being abusive. I get on with them and love them. It's just the email contained some very upsetting news).
The last few years have been hard. My parents split up and there were lots of complications. Just as it looked as if things might get better I get this bomshell.
I am sorry. I know that I am being irritatingly cryptic but I have to get something out now or I will take an overdose or cut or something (I have cut in my life but have an urge to now). This is something which could destroy our family. I have already been struggling with depression but am on tablets and coping day to day. Generally feel ok. Now this. If I can think of ways to put details up without identifying myself I will but this is terrible and I am so sick of it.
Thanks for reading if you've got this far.
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Mental health
awful shock. not sure I want to be here.
Raftofdeterminationandlove · 13/08/2014 01:17
Oo no, don't leave Raft in my hands, it's gone 2am here and the baby's just stirring so I'll have to go to bed in a minute!
Good luck with whatever stuff you have going on Rachael
Raft - I'm sure there will be other people around to chat, it's the early evening there so should be more people coming online all the time! I do have to go to bed now, but will be back in about 6h, probably - so do PM me if you want to and I'll read it when I wake up again.
(((hugs))) and 
(am sure it's late enough for that by now, isn't it?)
Glugs
I think I have some pmming to do.
Waves to Married
listverse.com/2014/08/13/10-societies-buried-beneath-your-feet/
One list as promised 
Hiya.
It always seems to feel harder at night somehow. But you will get through this, even if it's hour by hour. You're always so good at supporting others so please take your own advice and be kind to yourself 
I've been thinking about you today and sending you positive vibes, I hope they can reach you through the power of thought, and failing that, the wonders of t'internet
Thank you Married and I have got your positive vibes
I have decided to put off things for a couple of days and then sort them out at the weekend.
I am going to an indoor market tomorrow with my friend. She is very kind so I will explain things to her.
Glad you have a RL friend to chat to about this too, Raft - but I'm here now for the day if you're having troubles sleeping. 
Goodnight Married and thank you for the butterfly
Hello Thumbwitch I am currently reading things on MN. I really appreciate you being here. I am planning on going to bed about 2.30. I know that sounds late but it isn't for me.
No, it isn't for me either! Although I am having to try to go to bed a bit earlier (say 1-1:30am) these days because I keep getting minor colds, and I'm sure it's due to lack of sleep. Plus I get hungry again, and eating after midnight is never a good idea! 
I take it that you hadn't managed to book a GP's appt then, Raft? At least this has forced the issue for you - hope that phone call comes soon, and if it doesn't, then you need to push for the contact.
Fainting in public is a hideous experience - I've done it a few times myself! Various reasons - over-heating, pregnancy, hitting my face on a kerbstone when I tripped over - all very embarrassing 
Did they call an ambulance for you? I had one called for me once but I got up and ran away - it was rugby day in Twickenham, no way I wanted to go to West Mid hospital with all the drunken blokes! Hope they phoned and cancelled it, as it was a very naughty thing to do . It was a bus driver who'd called them so I'm hoping he did call them back.
One of the other times, the St John's Ambulance were in attendance, and luckily so was my sister. They wouldn't let me get up until I "got more colour back in my cheeks" - so I called my sister over and said "Do I look normal yet?" and she said "Yes, your normal shade of pale" (I'm very pale). So they let me go.
Get yourself some Rescue remedy as well so if you do feel some kind of attack coming on you can take that - it really does work in stressful situations! I've calmed an entire classroom full of hysterical sobbing women before now with it. Mass hysteria is a very interesting phenomenon. And no, I didn't tell them what it was before I gave it to them - but 70% of them went out and bought some afterwards!
Oh poo re. the Rescue remedy.
Yes they will always use a wheelchair for you if you've fainted, just in case you do it again (looks bad, you know 
)
I got wheelchaired off a longhaul flight once, even though I thought I could walk - I'd had an attack of altitude sickness a few hours before, and been put on oxygen, and because I had DS1 with me (He was only 3 or 4) they called for extra help for me. By the time the plane landed I thought I'd probably be ok but by the time I'd got everything down and walked to the plane door I was quite glad to get in the wheelchair! It certainly sped everything up too... but I don't recommend it.
Oh I know why they use the wheelchair but I felt a bit silly. The whole thing was embarrassing tbh 
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